Just Passover That Fact When Talking To Mom

| Chicago, IL, USA | Parents & Guardians

(I’m Jewish and it is currently Passover. We can not eat normal bread products, like graham crackers, bread (of course), tortillas, and other various bread items. This happens in my house pantry.)

Dad: “Hey, [My Name], come try these crackers.”

Me: “Are you sure they’re okay for Passover?”

Dad: “Yeah, check the label.”

(I check the label. It says “Kosher – Not for Passover.”)

Me: “Dad, are you sure?”

Dad: “Yeah, why?”

(I point to the label.)

Dad: “Oh…”

Me: “Yeah.”

Dad: “Well, just don’t tell your mother about this.”

(It’s still Passover and she doesn’t know we broke it. But at least it was by accident.)


It’s Like They’re Breeding

| MA, USA | Cousins, Pets & Animals, Popular

(I’ve recently moved and my cousin has come to visit. We decided to bring our dogs to a rather unpopular dog park because it’s usually empty and my dog is skittish around people. Our dogs take off and start playing and a small group of people show up. They let their dogs in and to be safe I call my dog.)

Me: “Tribble, here.”

(My dog instantly runs to me as well as another dog that came with the group. I reach down to pet the other dog and see that on his tag his name is ‘Tribble’ as well.)

Cousin: “Well, I guess you’re not the only nerd on earth. Want me to get his number for you?”

Me: “Nah, it would get way too confusing with our dogs sharing a name.”


A Noticeable Lack Of Noticing

| VIC, Australia | Popular, Siblings

(I’ve recently gotten braces because my teeth were in a position where they were wearing away at each other. At the time of this story, it’s summer holidays, and I’ve had them for a few days. I’ve been babysitting my 10-year-old brother for most of this time.)

Me: *laughing at a joke from a show we were watching*

Brother: “Wait, you have braces?”

(Fast forward a few months, and I’ve cut my waist-length hair short to donate the ponytail. Three days later.)

Brother: “[My Name]?! When did you cut your hair?”

Me: *struggling not to laugh* “Three days ago… Did you seriously not notice until now?”

Brother: “YOU HAVE NO PROOF!” *runs off*

(My brother’s not the most observant person in the world… I hope he never starts driving…)


Cycle Past Worried And Straight Through To Play

| Long Beach, CA, USA | Nephews & Nieces, Popular

(I’m watching my one-year-old nephew for the weekend, having brought him over sleeping at four am. Trying to catch some sleep I’m woken up around 8:30 hearing what sounds like a motorcycle.)

Nephew: “Vroom, Vroooooom, vrooom, Vroooooooooooom!”

(After several minutes I finally decided to get up to find out who it was when I saw my nephew was awake, sitting up in his bed. He was making the engine noises while he had his arms up in front of him holding an imaginary steering wheel. Apparently the first thing he had done after he woke up in a strange place without his parents was to ride his imaginary motorcycle.)


Doesn’t Look Like Anything The Cat Dragged In

| NM, USA | Grandchildren, Grandparents, Popular

(I am sitting in the youth services section of the library, near the desk, reading a book and waiting for my daughter to come out of story time when I observe a boy about nine or ten approaching the desk.)

Employee: “Welcome to the library. Can I help you find something?”

Boy: “I was wondering if you could help me find my grandma?”

Employee: “Sure. Can you tell me what she looks like?”

Boy: “Well, she’s really old and REALLY wrinkly and has old person hair, and she smells like an old person, and I think she’s wearing a purple shirt. Kind of a crazy cat lady look?”

Employee: *blushing at the boy’s words* “Sorry, I haven’t seen anyone fitting that… description.”

Boy: “Okay, but if you see her, will you tell her me and my mom are at story time?”

Employee: “Sure will.”

(Two minutes later, a lady comes looking for her family. She’s probably not a day over fifty and very stylishly dressed with nice hair.)

Employee: “Welcome to the library. Can I help you find something?”

Lady: “Yes. I was looking for my daughter and grandchildren. The oldest boy is wearing a green shirt and brown ball cap. Have you seen them?”

Employee: “Yes. They went into the story time room.”

(The lady leaves, and the employee looks at me, knowing I saw the whole thing.)

Employee: “Really old crazy cat ladies are getting nicer looking every day!”