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Providing Extra Aid

| USA | Parents & Guardians

(I am at summer camp and everyone is unpacking their things.)

Girl #1: “My mom labeled everything. She even labeled my band-aids.”

Girl #2: “Maybe she doesn’t want anyone taking your box.”

Girl #1: “Yeah, but don’t you find this kind of excessive?” *she empties the box to reveal each individual band-aid is labeled…*

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Full Time Care(less)

| Omaha, NE, USA | Overheard

(The following is what I overhear after I let a customer use the store phone.)

Customer: “Come on, pick up the phone! You’re in a d*** wheelchair, I know you’re there! I left you upstairs for a reason!”

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He Knows The “Rest”

| AB, Canada | Children, Spouses & Partners

(One Sunday afternoon, my husband and I sneak upstairs for some “alone time” while our nine-year-old son is blissfully plugged into Minecraft. As we are “finishing,” we hear him come thumping up the stairs and banging on our bedroom door; the door’s locked.)

Son: “Mom? Dad?”

Me: “Yes?”

Son: “I’m going outside to play.” *pauses* “Are you guys ‘resting’? *he emphasizes the word resting*

Husband: “Yes. Yes, we are.”

Son: “Just so you know, I’m doing finger quotes when I say ‘resting.’” *he emphasizes the word resting again*

(Cue much laughter from both my husband and me.)

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Sibling Rivalry Never Sleeps

| Scotland, UK | Children, Siblings

(My partner and I are walking home around three pm, when the primary school day ends. We pass a little girl and (I presume) her sister, and witness the following:)

Little Girl: *pointing at her sister, as if she’s casting a spell* “Hypnotise! Hypnotise! Sleep forever!”

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Getting Chesty About Yo Mama Jokes

| USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Parents & Guardians

(I’m talking to my boyfriend on the phone. My comeback to any statement would be “your mom is”…)

Boyfriend: “…and then I will go shirtless.”

Me: “Haha! You have moobs! No way!”

Boyfriend: “Hey! I have a chest okay?”

Me: “Yeah, right. Your mom has a ches— Oh, right. Never mind.”