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Easier Slayed Than Done

| Provo, UT, USA | Aunts & Uncles, Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(My brother, my uncle, and I are watching the season finale of ‘Once Upon a Time’. The character is fighting a dragon. My mother in the background.)

Brother: “…and then she brings out the gun.”

Uncle: “In reality, bullets wouldn’t work against a dragon. Their scales are too tough.”

Me: “Wait, if flying metal won’t work, what use is a sword?”

Uncle: “If the sword has the prime of strength from the warrior, and is pointed directly at the dragon’s neck or heart, it will kill it.”

Brother: “Why wouldn’t it work with bullets?”

Uncle: “The velocity would be ruined. The bullets wouldn’t be powerful if shot from a distance.”

Me: “But would it work at close range?”

Uncle: “Sure, but you would have to get the dragon down to your level, somehow.”

Mom: “While you are all discussing the physics of reality, you do realize she’s fighting a dragon, a mythological creature?”

All three of us: “Shut up.”

Maybe She Could Learn Humility Too

| Auckland, New Zealand | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters, Teenagers

(My daughter has been a lot into philosophy lately. We’re discussing this at the dinner table.)

Daughter: *finishing her point* “…and that is why we can’t tell the difference between good and evil.”

Me: “You should study philosophy when you go to university. You’d be good at it.”

Daughter: “No, I don’t want to. I prefer maths. Anyway, I don’t want to learn what other people think. I want to think by myself.”

Me: “I’m sure you could still learn a lot from people like Plato and Aristotle.”

Daughter: “But Mum, I’ve already learnt from them. Now I’m thinking beyond them!”

The Birds And The Bees, Some Assembly Required

| IA, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

(My 6 year old is asking questions about her new-born sister.)

6 year old: “Mommy, how did [baby sister] get in your tummy?”

Me: “Mommy and daddy made her together.”

6 year old: “Can I help make the next one? Please? We can use brown paint!”

(My sister’s children are mixed race. My daughter wanted a sibling that looked just like her cousins!)

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November Themed Story Giveaway: Family Feuds & Arguments!

Not Always Related | Announcements, Theme Of The Month
Want to win A Not Always Related t-shirt?
Enter November’s Themed Story Giveaway: Family Feuds & Arguments!

Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

  1. Submit a funny or interesting family feud or argument.
  2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
  3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Related shop!

PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning October’s Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about It Geeks In The Family. The winning submission: Et Tu, Vader? (392 thumbs up).

PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, December 5!

She Really Needs That Nap

| MA, USA | Siblings

(My sister and I share a car and to save on gas we plan to go places together. I work long shifts. We have planned a grocery trip, but I want to take a nap first.)

Me: “Will you still be here when I wake up?”

Sister: “What time are you going to wake up?”

Me: “I don’t know. Noon, maybe one.”

Sister: “I should still be here.”

Me: “You’d better be here or I’ll hunt you down and rip your fallopian tubes out through your belly button with a tiny robot arm!”

Sister: “Will you at least give me anaesthetic?”

Me: “No, no anaesthetic.”