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A Crumbling Defense

| NY, USA | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

(My dad and I are having a small argument on who’s more manly.)

Dad: “I’m so much more manly than you, I opened the stupid soda bottle for you.”

Me: “Oh, please. I am so much more manly than–”

(The oven timer dings.)

Me: “Ooh, my cookies are ready!”

(My dad chuckles.)

Me: “Oh shut up, cookies can be manly.”

Dad: “Right.”

Me: “Just for that, you can’t have any.”

(I have a feeling I came out on top in the end.)

Totally Euforic

| NY, USA |

(I share a bedroom with my sister. We are playing the alphabet game instead of counting sheep.)

Sister: “I’ll go first…Alligator.”

Me: “Banana.”

Sister: “Cookie.”

Me: “Dog.”

Sister: “Euphoria.”

Me: “What does that mean?”

Sister: “Really happy.”

Me: “Oh. What comes after your word?”

Sister: “F.”

Me: “F, huh? Hmm… phone.”

*pause*

Me: “Shut up, I’m tired.”

The Muffin Man And Me(at)

| NY, USA | Siblings

(My sister and I are wreaking havoc at the check-out counter at the local supermarket. The cashier hands my sister a bag of muffins.)

Sister: “Here, take the muffins.”

(I grab the muffins.)

Sister: “Stop being so aggressive! Stop molesting the muffins!”

(The cashier is trying to hold back the giggles and hands my sister a bag of raw meat. I grab the bag of meat out of my sister’s hand.)

Me: “Ah, no! The men carry the meat in this family!”

Sister: “Then give me the darn muffins back!”

Me: “Never!”

Cashier: *now on the verge of tears, speaking very quickly* “Your total is $20.95. Thank you, and have a nice day!”

Sister and me: “Thank you!”

(We happily leave the supermarket.)