Category: Top

Birds And Bees On Aisle Four

| Pickering, ON, Canada | Parents & Guardians, Top

(I’m three years old and my mother is obviously pregnant with my younger brother. We walk into the store to do our shopping when I decide to ask a question in a rather loud voice.)

Me: “Mommy, how are babies made?”

(The entire store freezes and goes silent. My mother scrambles to come up with an answer that won’t have her explaining the birds and the bees in the middle of a public place.)

Mom: “Oh, [My Name], don’t be silly. Babies aren’t made; they’re born!”

(I’m content with that answer and the whole store breathes a collective sigh of relief.)

Customer: “Good answer.”

Refusing To Open The Door Of Reason

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Parents & Guardians, Top

(It is my neighbour’s 18th birthday, in the early afternoon. The doorbell has just rung. My dad looks out the window.)

Dad: “I’m not answering it. It’s a young girl. Probably trying to sell me some crap.”

(Later that evening, a party starts next door and continues into the early hours of the morning, with loud music and screaming.)

Dad: “That’s completely unacceptable. They didn’t even inform us. We have young kids here! I’m going to go and talk to them.”

(My dad goes next door, and relays the following conversation to us when he comes back.)

Dad: “I’d just like to let you know that I’m really angry about the party last night. It was incredibly loud and disruptive, particularly given you know lots of families live in this street.”

Neighbour’s Father: “I’m so sorry. I told her to go around and inform every person in the street that she would be hosting a party last night. She’ll be getting a talking to.”

(After my dad tells that story, we return to our normal conversation.)

Dad: “So apparently she just didn’t have the courtesy to come over and talk to us.”

Mum: “Didn’t a young girl come to the door yesterday and you refused to open it?”

Dad: “…Yes. Yes, she did. I’ll just go and apologise, shall I?”

His Gullibility Is Looking Up

| Cleveland, OH, USA | Siblings, Top

(I’m eight and my brother is five. We’re watching TV together.)

Me: “Hey, bro. It says ‘gullible’ on the ceiling.”

Brother: “Oh, okay.”

(Three-second pause.)

Me: “Aren’t you going to look up?”

Brother: “No, I believe you.”

(I should’ve known… a really gullible person wouldn’t fall for that.)

Page 1/11112345...Last