Category: Sons & Daughters

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But Violence Is Okay

| MO, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

(I am making coffee while my sons, two and four years old, are eating breakfast. My two-year-old starts waving his spoon around.)

Two-Year-Old: “I am God!”

Me: “What did you say?”

Two-Year-Old: “I am God!”

Me: *launches into lengthy explanation as to why we do not pretend to be God*

Four-Year-Old: “No, we’re just sword fighting!”

Me: “Well, you still don’t pretend to be God.”

Four-Year-Old: “We aren’t pretending to be God. He said ‘en garde’!”

Me: “Oh. That’s all right, then.”

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Please Joint Us At The Table

| FL, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

(I’m teaching my four-year-old son about table manners. At supper one night, our family of four are each sitting on a different side of the rectangular table. I explain that his father is sitting at the head of the table and I’m at the foot of the table.)

Son: “Does that mean [Two-Year-Old Brother] is the knee of the table? And I’m the elbow!”

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Fixed On That Definition

| Portland, OR, USA | Sons & Daughters

(As I was combing my six-year-old daughter’s hair:)

Me: “Do you want me to fix your hair?”

Daughter: “No, I just want you to organize it.”

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