Category: Sons & Daughters

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Pasta Makes The Woman

| Setauket, NY, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

(My daughter and I are in the car heading out to get something for dinner. She’s six years old.)

Daughter: “Why couldn’t I just stay home?”

Me: “You’re too young to stay home by yourself.”

Daughter: “No, I’m not! I’ve eaten hot pasketti and I am a grown woman!”

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Laws Of Physics Were Not Broken But Bones Were

| Dallas, TX, USA | Sons & Daughters

(I’m talking with my mom on the phone and am telling her something stupid I did.)

Me: “I was trying to take a picture while I was still riding the bike. Can you guess what happened next?”

Mom: “Gravity?”

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Getting Into Boy Trouble

| USA | Sons & Daughters

(My family runs an antique business, which my brother and I have helped with since we were in elementary school. At a show, I’m watching the booth with my dad and a couple walk up to the cases. I’m a girl, early 20s, with short hair.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you with something?”

Male Customer: “Yes, Can I see—” *points to antique in case*

(I pull some antiques out for him, quote some prices, and he asks about other pieces of the same type. My dad takes over from here, and takes them into the booth where the other pieces are, and I go back to my watching spot, reading. At some point, the wife of the male customer walks up to me.)

Wife: “I’m sorry; he didn’t mean it.”

Me: *slightly confused, thinking about something to do with the antiques* “Oh, that’s ok. It happens.” *I go back to reading*

(A few minutes later, when the customers have left, my dad hugs me.)

Dad: “I’m sorry, honey.”

Me: *really confused at this point* “Um, okay, it’s all right, dad.”

(A few minutes later, a different female customer, who was here at the same time as the couple comes up to me.)

Female Customer: “He’s not right, you know. You really don’t look like a boy.”

(At this point, I put the pieces together. The male customer had a conversation that had gone something like this:)

Male Customer: “That’s a nice young man you have with you. Is he your son?”

Dad: *slightly embarrassed* “That’s my daughter…”

Male Customer: *even more embarrassed* “I… um… she’s very nice!”

(They didn’t end up buying anything.)

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Dropping The Language

| Devon, England, UK | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

(I let my seven-year-old son watch a ‘lets-play’ series on YouTube that I had previously watched but quite some time ago. There turned out to be quite a few more swear words than I remembered.)

Son: *repeats a bad word*

Me: “Don’t repeat that. Don’t repeat any of the swear words you hear them say or else I’m banning you from watching this.”

Son: “I didn’t know that was a swear.”

Me: “Ah. Okay I’ll list the words off once that you can’t repeat. Never use these words.” *I then list B****, S***, and F*** as what not to say before we go back to the video*

Guy On Video: “This a**-hole!”

Son: *looks at me* “Asshole?”

Me: *face-palming* “Don’t say that either. Look if it’s something you hear me say when I drop something don’t repeat it!”

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Stereoscopic Obnoxiousness

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Sons & Daughters

(Two of my children are arguing and I happen to overhear:)

Son: “[Daughter], you’re just plain obnoxious!”

Daughter: *begins angry protest*

Me: *sweetly* “[Daughter], you listen to [Son]. He’s the expert on being obnoxious.”

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