Category: Sons & Daughters

Disney Dilemmas

| Alexandria, LA, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

(My husband and I are looking for a gift for our one-year-old when I hear a small child’s squeal of excitement. I turn around and spot a man and a little girl, who’s holding a large Captain America action figure and pointing to an end cap display of the new Belle dolls.)

Little Girl: *gasps* “It’s Belle from Beauty and the Beast! I loved that movie!” *turns to the man* “Daddy, can I have her?!”

Man: “No, you have Captain America. Mommy and I said one toy and only one.”

Little Girl: *groans loudly* “How am I supposed to make such a big decision like this? It’s just much too hard!”

Man: *laughs* “Well, hurry, because we have to catch Mommy. If she checks out before we find her, you don’t get a toy.”

Little Girl: *hops from one foot to the other* “I just don’t knoooooow!” *sighs then looks up at her father* “Daddy, you pick for me!”

Man: *smiles* “Okay. I say we get Captain America and come back for Belle later.”

Little Girl: “Okay!” *hugs the Captain America and skips off with her father in tow*

Problem Child Number Two

| AZ, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

(I have just put my one-year-old daughter and three-year-old son down for a nap, and gone to the bathroom for some quiet alone time when my son starts yelling from his room.)

Son: “MOM! MOM! MOM!”

Me: “What is it, Bubs?”

Son: “MOM, HELP!”

Me: “Hold on, I’m in the bathroom.”

Son: “Why?”

Me: “I’m pooping”

Son: “ME, TOO!”

(He wasn’t lying.)

Pie Is Pleasing

| Sheffield, England, UK | Children, Sons & Daughters

(I am having a meal with friends and their two children. The younger, a boy, is about two and learning to talk. He is asking for something in particular to eat and his mum is coaxing him to ask nicely.)

Mum: “What’s the magic word, [Son]? It begins with ‘P’.”

Son: “Pie!”

(Laughter all round.)

Mum: *fondly* “I’m so proud.”

Settled It Like A Boss

| Scotland, UK | Children, Sons & Daughters

(Earlier in the day my sons had been arguing about which of them is the boss. It ended with Son #2 deciding his ten-week-old baby sister is the boss. At the dinner table. I decide to try and restart the argument for my husband’s benefit.)

Me: “So am I the boss now?”

Son #1: “I’m the boss!”

Me: “I’m the boss!”

Son #1: “I’m the boss!”

Me: “[Daughter] is the boss?”

Son #1: “I’m the boss!”

Husband: “I’m the boss and that’s that.”

Son #2: “I’m Batman.”

(He’ll go far, that boy.)

Bail Fail

| San Jose, CA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

(As my oldest son is leaving for school.)

Me: “Be good. I love you. Have a good day. Don’t do anything that requires bail money.”

Son: “I make no promises.”

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