Category: Sons & Daughters


That’s A Big No-No

| Finland | Sons & Daughters

(My teenage daughter has recently gotten strong enough to pick me up. She’s demonstrating this ability to my husband. After she puts me down, my husband puts his arms around both of us to pick us up at the same time.)

Daughter & Me: “No no no no no!”

Daughter: “Don’t pick us up!”

Me: “We told you in steri-no!”


Giving It A Bad Name

| Québec, QC, Canada | Children, Sons & Daughters

(This story takes place when I was around five or six. It’s the holiday and we’re visiting my grandparents. My father is the seventh kid of eight, so they all have names familiar in their generation but not in mine.)

Me: “Hey, Dad?”

Father: “Yes, Son?”

Me: “When am I going to change my name?”

Father: *confused* “What do you mean, change your name?”

Me: “At what age do kids change their name?”

Father: *even more confused* “They don’t change their names; what makes you think that?”

Me: “Well, I have a kid’s name; I’ll probably change to an adult name like yours when I grow up.”

Father: “No, you won’t. You’ll always have that name.”

Me: *finally starting to understand* “YOU MEAN YOU’VE ALWAYS HAVE THAT NAME? AN OLD NAME? A KID WITH AN OLD NAME?!”

Father: “…”

Me: *lost in thoughts* “Wow… must’ve been weird.”


Fishing Around For Some Candy

| MI, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

(I am around four years old and we had just got back to my grandmother’s house after a day at the beach where I had caught a few minnows in a pail. Dad looks into the pail.)

Dad: “Oh, man, those ones are filled with chocolate!”

(Dad walks away. Mom walks up to me a few minutes later.)

Mom: “OH, MY GOD, [My Name], WHAT’S IN YOUR MOUTH?!”

(I had believed my dad and eaten a few minnows, scales on my lips as proof.)


The Boys Will Be All Right

| England, UK | Children, LGTBQ, Sons & Daughters

(My phone background is artwork of two male characters from a game cuddling and being romantic, completely SFW. My elementary aged son notices it.)

Son: “Are those boys or girls?”

Me: “They’re boys but they are in love.”

Son: “Then they are the best kind of boys!”


First Rate, Second Grade, Party

| Miami, FL, USA | Cousins, Sons & Daughters

(It is my daughter’s seventh birthday. About two weeks ago I made some invitations for her to give out at school. It should be noted that while she is in second grade, she is also enrolled in music lessons and is advanced enough to be placed in the highest level music class offered. I hear a knock on the door.)

Daughter: “Mom! My friends are here!”

Me: “Okay, I’ll get it.”

(I open the door and see a young man I recognize from her music lessons.)

Me: “Oh, [Man #1]. I wasn’t expecting you to be here. It’s very nice of you to come to [Daughter]’s birthday.”

Man #1: “Thanks. Where can I leave my gift?”

Me: “On that table over there.”

Man #1: “Thanks.”

(He leaves and I confront my daughter.)

Me: “You invited [Man #1]?”

Daughter: “Yeah, why?”

Me: “That was very nice of you but don’t you think he would feel silly being the only adult at a children’s party?”

Daughter: “No.”

(I figured that he must have expected to be the oldest one there and came anyway. As the day goes on, more adults show up and I realize that my daughter invited her adult friends from her music class instead of people from her school. The party I planned is a typical kid’s birthday with clowns, a moon bounce, piñatas, and gift bags filled with toys.)

Me: “Daughter, did you invite any kids to your party?”

Daughter: *obviously lying* “Uh…Yes.”

Me: “I told you to invite your friends from school.”

Daughter: “They are from my school.”

Me: “I meant your real school. Why didn’t you invite any kids?”

Daughter: “These people are more fun.”

(I go into the backyard where everyone is waiting and inform them of what happened.)

Me: “I’m very sorry if the party isn’t as fun as you thought it would be. I was expecting second graders and planned accordingly.”

Man #2: “It’s fine; we’re having fun.”

(It turns out they loved the party and enjoyed the activities anyway. Everything went as planned but I did give my daughter a warning to tell me ahead of time if she was going to have her adult friends over again.)

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