Category: Siblings

The Cats Don’t Care Either Way

| Tulalip, WA, USA | Pets & Animals, Siblings

(After the cat wants out the third time within ten minutes:)

Me: “Cat, I am not a professional opener of doors for cats!”

Brother: “Apparently you are.”

Me: “Yeah… Wait, no! I don’t get paid! I am an amateur opener of doors for cats!”

Had The Last Meow

| IL, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Pets & Animals, Siblings

(I am in the car with my mother and sister, on our way to a Girl’s Night. I am recently married, and for some reason the conversation came to my eventual production of children.)

Mom: “I hope you have a girl. Girls are wonderful.”

Sister: “I don’t know… I think a boy would be better.”

Me: “I am not even the slightest bit ready for a baby. Why are we talking about this?”

Mom: “I like girl babies.”

Sister: “I like boy babies.”

Me: “And I like cats.”

Pretty Sure They’re Nana’s Favorite

| Sweden | Children, Siblings

(I come from a large family: I have four brothers and one sister. Our parents have always been relaxed and natural about sex and nudity and believed in teaching us the correct facts and words about our bodies. I’m 20, and my sister is four. Being the baby of a family with lots of boys, she has already seen her fair share of naked guys of differing ages; no big deal to us. We’re at the grocery store with our mother. Due to the age gap I am often mistaken for my sister’s mother if people see just the two of us together.)

Sister: “What do we get next?”

Me: “We’re off to the candy aisle to get some goodies for Nana.”

Sister: “I know what candy she wants!”

(She runs to the candy aisle, and I go with her, leaving our mother behind. By the pralines, a very posh middle aged lady is standing, carefully examining each box of chocolate, and loudly stating why it’s not good enough. She is very dressed up, lots of perfume and jewelry and quite obviously considers herself too good to be shopping at a bargain store like this one. She keeps snarling and scoffing while my sis searches the shelves for Nana’s favourite candy: chocolate covered marshmallow bananas.)

Sister: *searching* “No, not this one… Not this … Oooh, there it is! This is what Nana likes!”

(She picks up a box; they’re remarkably big for this kind of candy, with a very uneven coat of chocolate.)

Sister: *very loud* “Well, these sure look like penises!”

(A posh lady standing nearby gasps loudly, and puts her hand over her heart in a gesture of great shock and offense.)

Posh Lady: “Well, how are you going to punish this child for being so vulgar in public?”

Me: *takes a look at the box, then firmly locking eyes with the lady* “Yes, [Sister], they definitely do look like penises!”

(As the posh lady scurries away, I make sure to make one last loud remark while she can still hear us.)

Me: “Come on sis, let’s go show Mum the penises we are buying for Nana!”

(To be fair, they truly did look like penises!)

Very Deep-water Horizon

| Singapore | Siblings

(This takes place in 2010 a few weeks after the BP Deepwater Horizon oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. An oil tanker collides with another ship and leaks off the northeast coast of Singapore. My sister works on the north side of the island. After we come home from work:)

Sister: “I smelled something like burning petrol today.”

Me: “Oh, maybe it was the oil spill.”

Sister: “You mean the BP one?”

Me: “No, the Changi one. You think you can smell petrol all the way from America?”

Never Going To Celebrate Independence Day

| Australia | Siblings

(My sisters and I are hanging out on the couch.)

Me: “Oh, yeah, [Sister #1]. I got told that if you do end up studying overseas I should go with you for fun.”

Sister #1: “Oh… Yay! That means I don’t have to go alone!”

Me: “Yay!”

Sister #2: “OH, MY GOD! WE’RE NEVER GOING TO GET RID OF EACH OTHER!”

Me: “But travelling alone is scary.”

Sister #1: “Yeah, I’m not that independent!”

Sister #2: “Oh, yeah, true. I hate airports. I have no idea what to do!”

Me and Sister #1: “Same!”

Me: “Hurray! We’ll never be independent! Together forever!”