Category: Siblings

Mortgages IRL, Because YOLO

| Norway | Siblings

(My brother and his girlfriend have been living together for years, and have recently decided to move out of town to be closer to her family. I receive this text:)

Brother: “LOL, we bought an apartment.”

(Yes, my 27-year-old brother thought the proper response to buying an apartment was ‘LOL’.)

The Pen-Pushing Of Crimes

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Siblings

(My sister runs into the car after depositing a cheque into the bank.)

Sister: “I just stole from the bank.”

Me: “What?!”

Sister: “Will I get in trouble?”

Me: “Uh… ya! How much did you take?”

Sister: “A pen!” *bursts out laughing*

Me: “GET OUT!”

Raising A Point

| ME, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(My child is five months old. My seventeen-year-old sister has become a backseat parent. She berates me about everything, including cleaning, cooking, and caring for my daughter. Every day she sends a message asking if I bathed her, fed her, cleaned her, or she calls and gives me attitude. Not once does she offer to help, or ask how my husband and I are doing. She babysits her for one night. Our mother relays this to me the next day.)

Sister: “I didn’t think it be this hard!”

Mom: “What do you think your sister does all day? Sit on her a**?”

Sister: “Yes…”

Mom: “No, dear, she doesn’t. She’s trying; give her a break. She has to learn as she goes.”

Sister: “I’ll never bug her about raising [Daughter] again… I didn’t realize it wasn’t easy.”

Mom: “I’m curious as to why you thought it was?”

Sister: “You did it?”

(Apparently my sister thought because my mom raised four of us that it should be easy for me to raise one baby. When I arrived to get my baby, mom shared stories about how hard it was, and when and how she made mistakes. She even admitted that I was her hardest baby being her first at 19 years old. My sister never did bother me again about how I parent.)

Your Knowledge Of Diseases Is Rusty

| Richmond, VA, USA | Siblings

(My sister and I are at a hair salon, and while getting our haircuts the topic of plucking eyebrows came up. My sister’s have just been waxed.)

Sister: “My eyebrows look better than yours now!”

Me: “Yeah, because they were just done by a professional. I do mine in my bathroom with rusty tweezers.”

Sister: “Rusty?”

Me: “It’s not too bad. I haven’t gotten tetanus yet so I guess I’m okay.”

Sister: “What’s tetanus?”

Me: “It’s what you get when you cut yourself on something rusty.”

Sister: “I thought that was polio!”

Me: “…Polio?”

Sister: “Polio is what you get when you cut yourself on something rusty!”

Me: “No, it’s tetanus!”

Sister: “What does polio do then?”

Me: “I don’t know; make it so you can’t walk? That’s why FDR needed a wheelchair. He got polio.”

Sister: “Wait, if you get tetanus from rusty metal, then what did Jonas Salk cure?”

Me: “POLIO! And he didn’t cure it, he created vaccines for it!”

Sister: “So who cured tetanus?”

Me: *groans*

(She did eventually get it. But how you can make it to 20 thinking you got polio from rusty metal is beyond me.)

Sharing That Nugget Of Information In The Morning

| VA, USA | Siblings

(This incident occurred a couple nights ago. It should be noted that I share a room with my sister. It’s around 1:00 am. I am sleeping peacefully when:)

Sister: “Where’s my chicken nugget?”

(I blink, thinking I might still be dreaming.)

Me: “What, [Sister]?”

Sister: *very upset by now* “Where is my nugget? [My Name]! Help me find the nugget!”

Me: “Your… chicken… nugget?”

Sister: “YES! My chicken nugget! Where is it? You have to help me find it!” *she sees me trying not to laugh* “[MY NAME]! HELP ME FIND THE NUGGET!”

(She starts thrashing and kicking the blankets. I decide to go wake up our dad.)

Sister: “WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!”

Me: “I’m getting you another chicken nugget.”

(My dad comes into our room.)

Dad: “[Sister], what’s wrong?”

Sister: “I need my chicken nugget.”

Dad: “Okay, we’ll get you some in the morn—”

Sister: “NO!” *rolls over in a huff*

Me: *after our dad leaves* “You’re going to find this really funny in the morning.”

Sister: “NO, I’M NOT!”

(At some point the next day, she texted me, ‘did i really wake you up last night looking for a chicken nugget?’ Turned out, she really thought she’d fallen asleep holding a chicken nugget and that it was lost in her comforter. And yes, she found it hilarious the next day.)