Category: Siblings

There Better Bee An Explanation

| TX, USA | Pets & Animals, Siblings

(In the middle of the night, someone starts pounding on my bedroom door.)

Me: *groggy* “Wh-what’s going on? What’s wrong?”

Brother: *calling through the door* “[My Name]? Don’t go into the bathroom, okay?”

Me: *looking at my alarm clock* “It’s two am!”

Brother: “Yeah, I know. Just don’t go into the bathroom.”

Me: “Why? Did the toilet overflow or something?”

Brother: “No, there’s bees in there.”

Me: “A bee? What, did you leave the window open?”

Brother: “No, bees. Plural. About 40.”

Me: *now fully awake* “How the h*** are there 40 bees in our bathroom?!”

Brother: “I ordered them in the mail. And then, when I opened the box, they all flew out.”

Me: “What exactly did you think would happen?! And WHY did you order bees?”

Brother: “Just don’t go in there. I gotta go tell mom and dad, now.”

(As it happens, my mother is violently allergic to bees, so in the middle of the night, my dad dragged a ladder up against the house and opened the window from the outside to let them all out before any could escape the bathroom. We never got an explanation from my brother.)

Ignorance Is Not The Best Medicine

| CT, USA | In-Laws, Siblings, Sons & Daughters

(My husband and I call our usual babysitter, his sister-in-law, over to babysit our toddler while we go for a night out. We recently discovered that our daughter has an allergy to ibuprofen that results in a severe rash and swelling. We remind SIL about this allergy before we leave, but as we are leaving dinner and on our way to a movie, we receive this phone call.)

Sister-In-Law: “You should probably come home. [Daughter] isn’t looking so great.”

Me: “Why? What’s wrong? Did she get sick?”

Sister-In-Law: “Well, she was running a fever, and now she has a really bad rash and her eyes are nearly swollen shut.”

Me: “That sounds like an allergic reaction. Did you give her any medicine?”

Sister-In-Law: “After I checked her temperature I gave her some [Name-Brand Ibuprofen] to help her fever.”

Me: *knowing we don’t have any [Name-Brand Ibuprofen] in the house* “Where did you get it? You know that has ibuprofen in it, right?”

Sister-In-Law: “I noticed all you had was [Name-Brand Acetaminophen] and that doesn’t work as well as [Name-Brand Ibuprofen], so I went to the drugstore and got some. I thought it would be okay because it’s [Name-Brand Ibuprofen], not ibuprofen.”

(I stop, rather upset, and take a deep breath.)

Me: “We’ll be home in ten minutes. Give her some of the [Antihistamine] in the cabinet.”

(My husband and I gave her quite an earful about checking the ingredients of drugs before giving them to a child. The antihistamine worked as it should, so our daughter was fine, but we’re not planning to let our sister-in-law babysit again for a while!)

The Shouting Makes Him Enfilade

| Detroit, MI, USA | Children, In-Laws, Nephews & Nieces, Siblings

(I am a retired Marine, and I have never lost the habit of using military terminology. My five-year-old nephew has taken his bath and is on the family room sofa, lying pressed up against the cushions so that he can’t be seen from the kitchen.)

Brother-In-Law: “Where’s [Nephew]?”

Me: “He’s in defilade.”

Nephew: *yelling* “No, I’m not! I’m in my underwear!”

Wish The Fact Had Remained Unknown

| CA, USA | In-Laws, Siblings

(I come from out of state to celebrate my brother and sister-in-law’s college graduation. An old friend whom I haven’t seen or heard from in years also comes. He brought his son with him! We talk for a bit, but then I suddenly have a disconnect in my brain. I just can’t believe that Friend, who I last saw as a teenager, now has a baby. Friend is standing some distance away talking with my brother, and the area is a bit noisy. I take advantage of the situation and discreetly lean towards my sister-in-law.)

Me: *whispering* “Is that REALLY [Friend]?”

Sister-In-Law: *very loudly* “Yes! That’s [Friend]!”

Friend: *having overheard and obviously hurt* “Oh… you didn’t know who I was?”

(Thanks a lot for that, Sister-In-Law…)

On Track For Entitlement

| FL, USA | Siblings

(This was in the early ‘80s when track-suits were the rage. My younger sister starts community college and needs one for gym.)

Sister: “I need a track suit for gym, but I’m broke.”

Me: “Don’t worry I’ll buy you one.”

Sister: “I can’t decide between these two track-suits. I guess I’ll pay for the second one myself.”

Me: “…”