Category: Siblings

That Behavior Is Not A Hit With Mom

| Denver, CO, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(I’m sitting in the kitchen with my mother and younger brother, and my sister is upstairs. We’re helping my mom sort recipes when a loud slap followed by a shout comes from my sister’s room.)

Sister: “MOOOOOOMMMM! [My Name] hit me!”

(She really had slapped herself and was trying to get me in trouble. My mother looks over at me with a fake disdained look.)

Mother: “My, my, [My Name]. What do you have to say for yourself?”

Immigrate To A House With Thicker Walls

| Singapore | Siblings

(My husband, my sister, my brother, and I share a flat in Singapore. My husband is American and we’re in the midst of a green card application for me. Despite what some people think, it is REALLY difficult to immigrate to the USA and requires a ton of proof.)

Me: “Sis, we need people to provide testimonials that we’re really married. Can you write one for us?”

Sister: “Sure, I can tell them how often you guys have sex.”

(I guess we should have closed our windows and run the air conditioner more.)

Making Them See Red

| TX, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(I am eating dinner with my sister and parents. I notice a piece of red bell pepper is partially green and comment on it.)

Me: “Green.”

Sister: “Blue.”

Me: “Purple.”

Sister: “Chartreuse!”

Me: *gasps* “BLASPHEMY!”

Dad: “Fuschia?”

Worf Doesn’t Drink Sugarplum Juice

| KY, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(My mother, sister, and I are on our way home from going to see the Nutcracker over the holidays.)

Mom: “What is a sugarplum anyway? Is it a dried plum?”

Me: “That would be a prune.”

Sister: “The Waltz of the Prune Fairy doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.”

On A Cocktail Of Lies And Cookies

| Pearl River, NY, USA | Children, Siblings

(My brother is in elementary school. It’s just before Thanksgiving and the teacher is asking the kids what they bring to their families’ Thanksgiving dinners. All of the kids give standard answers like “turkey” or “mashed potatoes.” That is, until she gets to my brother…)

Teacher: “And what do you bring to your family’s Thanksgiving dinner, [Brother]?”

Brother: “Cocktails!”

(My mother was mortified. We occasionally have a glass of wine or two, but there’s definitely no cocktails at Thanksgiving dinner. We still don’t know how he came up with that one. For the record, the only thing we’ve ever brought to Thanksgiving dinner was chocolate chip cookies.)