Category: Siblings

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It’s Jew-licious

| Gresham, OR, USA | Siblings

(My family is eating Christmas dinner and we are having a Polish food called pierogis. We are talking about how strange it is to have to explain what they are to people because we’ve grown up eating them when my step-sister pipes in.)

Step-Sister: “Actually, I learned why most people don’t know about them.”

Me: “Why?”

Step-Sister: “It’s actually because they came from Polish Jews originally. They were a Jewish dish. Or something along those lines.”

Me: “So, we’re eating a Jewish dish on Christmas? Does anyone else see the irony in that or is it just me?”

(I have no idea if my step-sister was correct because she isn’t known for accurate bits of trivia but I still think I had the best comeback ever.)

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Llama-Drama

| Salem, OR, USA | Siblings

(My family is eating out for an early Christmas Eve lunch, and my sister, who is visiting from Ohio, begins talking about her neighborhood.)

Sister: “Yeah, did you know that you’re not allowed to have more than two llamas in your backyard?”

Me: *without missing a beat* “Crap, I’ll have to return your Christmas present, then.”

Sister: “What?”

Me: “Nothing…”

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Bacon Monster

| VT, USA | Siblings

(A family friend recently sent our family a tin of Christmas cookies, and I am eating one now. My brother is in the same room, and the cookie is clearly visible.)

Brother: “What are you eating?”

Me: *looks at cookie, then back at [Brother]* “Bacon.”

Brother: “Okay.”

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Had A Bit Too Much Christmas Spirit

| UK | Holidays, Siblings

(My boyfriend’s brother is significantly older than him. This takes place several years ago when he’s 18 when he often goes to the pub. One Christmas Eve he goes out and gets completely bladdered then returns to the room he shares with my boyfriend. This year their father decides to dress up as Father Christmas and sneak into their room waking them both up, with him still slightly drunk.)

Boyfriend’s Brother: *looking up drunkenly* “Father Christmas has really let himself go.” *returns to snoring*

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Ghost Of Christmas Too Many Presents

| MN, USA | Holidays, Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(I’m on the phone with my father. He’s just recently gotten married for the fourth time, and has two new stepchildren. My mother married my stepfather when I was two and got three stepchildren. They’ve both had at least two to three children with each marriage as well, and my father still claims his stepson from his second marriage as his, as he and my former stepmother are still really good friends.)

Me: “I’m not going to be able to afford Christmas presents for everyone.”

Father: “So don’t get everyone presents. Just get your siblings something.”

Me: “Dad, the amount of siblings I have is the REASON I can’t afford to get everyone something.”

Father: “What? Look, I know I have a lot of kids. Just get them gift cards–”

Me: “Dad…”

Father: “But you should still get them presents–”

Me: “Dad.”

Father: “You’re the oldest and–”

Me: “DAD. Do you not remember how many brothers and sisters I have?!”

Father: “Six.”

Me: “Uh-huh. From you. I also have six from Mom, and [Stepbrother] from your second marriage. That’s thirteen brothers and sisters.”

Father: *pause* “Right. Maybe not gift-cards then…”

(In the end I baked most of them cookies and called it a day.)