Category: Siblings

Your Knowledge Of Diseases Is Rusty

| Richmond, VA, USA | Siblings

(My sister and I are at a hair salon, and while getting our haircuts the topic of plucking eyebrows came up. My sister’s have just been waxed.)

Sister: “My eyebrows look better than yours now!”

Me: “Yeah, because they were just done by a professional. I do mine in my bathroom with rusty tweezers.”

Sister: “Rusty?”

Me: “It’s not too bad. I haven’t gotten tetanus yet so I guess I’m okay.”

Sister: “What’s tetanus?”

Me: “It’s what you get when you cut yourself on something rusty.”

Sister: “I thought that was polio!”

Me: “…Polio?”

Sister: “Polio is what you get when you cut yourself on something rusty!”

Me: “No, it’s tetanus!”

Sister: “What does polio do then?”

Me: “I don’t know; make it so you can’t walk? That’s why FDR needed a wheelchair. He got polio.”

Sister: “Wait, if you get tetanus from rusty metal, then what did Jonas Salk cure?”

Me: “POLIO! And he didn’t cure it, he created vaccines for it!”

Sister: “So who cured tetanus?”

Me: *groans*

(She did eventually get it. But how you can make it to 20 thinking you got polio from rusty metal is beyond me.)

Sharing That Nugget Of Information In The Morning

| VA, USA | Siblings

(This incident occurred a couple nights ago. It should be noted that I share a room with my sister. It’s around 1:00 am. I am sleeping peacefully when:)

Sister: “Where’s my chicken nugget?”

(I blink, thinking I might still be dreaming.)

Me: “What, [Sister]?”

Sister: *very upset by now* “Where is my nugget? [My Name]! Help me find the nugget!”

Me: “Your… chicken… nugget?”

Sister: “YES! My chicken nugget! Where is it? You have to help me find it!” *she sees me trying not to laugh* “[MY NAME]! HELP ME FIND THE NUGGET!”

(She starts thrashing and kicking the blankets. I decide to go wake up our dad.)

Sister: “WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!”

Me: “I’m getting you another chicken nugget.”

(My dad comes into our room.)

Dad: “[Sister], what’s wrong?”

Sister: “I need my chicken nugget.”

Dad: “Okay, we’ll get you some in the morn—”

Sister: “NO!” *rolls over in a huff*

Me: *after our dad leaves* “You’re going to find this really funny in the morning.”

Sister: “NO, I’M NOT!”

(At some point the next day, she texted me, ‘did i really wake you up last night looking for a chicken nugget?’ Turned out, she really thought she’d fallen asleep holding a chicken nugget and that it was lost in her comforter. And yes, she found it hilarious the next day.)

Her Orders Stand

| Pueblo, CO, USA | Siblings

(My family and I are in a restaurant waiting to be seated. Everyone but me is sitting and my mom just told my younger sister to give her seat to an older woman who just arrived. Note that my older sister and her husband both just had surgery and everyone is tired from doing errands all day.)

Mom: “Let that lady sit.” *the lady leaves as my sister goes to stand* “Never mind.”

Me: *to younger sister* “You’re the only one here who hasn’t had surgery or isn’t old.”

Older Sister: *to me* “What’s your excuse?!”

Me: “I’m already standing!”

(Cue us laughing for her little “blond” moment.)

His Attempts At Attention Are Laughable

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Children, Siblings

(My mom and I are sitting in the living room watching the news. My younger brother is up front in the sitting room playing on his computer.)

Brother: “HYUK HYUK HYUK!” *closest imitation of this weird laugh he did*

Me: “What the h***, kid?”

Mom: “That’s his ‘It’s not really all that funny, but I want you to know I found it kind of funny’ laugh.”

Brother: *completely oblivious to our conversation* “HYUK HYUK HAHAHAHAHA HEE HEE HEE!”

Mom: “That’s a combination laugh. Part ‘I want attention!’, part ‘This really is funny.’”

Me: “Okaaaay…”

Brother: “Hehehe— oh, nooo— Hahahahahahaha!”

Mom: “Probably watching something like a classic ‘football to the groin’ video.”

Some Brothers Will Drive You To Drink

| England, UK | Siblings

Brother: “Can I see your ID, sir?”

Me: “For what?”

Brother: “The coffee you ordered has alcohol in it… sir.”

Me: “I asked for that to be kept out. Also, are you saying I look under 25?”

Brother: “I still have to ask, sir.”

(I give him my license which confirms my age is over 45.)

Brother: “That’s fine.” *leans into me and whispers* “Sorry. I have to be professional!”

Me: “Sure…”

Brother: *picking up my cup* “And your name, sir?”

Me: *exasperated* “Seriously? Ugh, fine. [My Name].”

(I sat down and waited for my coffee. Before it came, though, he ran over and begged me to smuggle a bottle of sauce home for him. So much for being professional!)

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