Category: Siblings

Context Reflex

| USA | Siblings

(My brother and I are almost always on the same wavelength and can pick up what the other is trying to reference with relative ease.)

Me: “Hey, remember the guy in that game who had the big round thing? Ugh, you know what I mean, right?”

Brother: “I do… but there’s no reason I should, given the context.”

(For context, I was trying to ask him, “You remember the gnome character in the computer game King’s Quest V, who you give the spinning wheel to?”)

Oh, The Inhumanity

| OH, USA | Siblings

(This conversation happens after Donald Trump has, once again, made headlines after saying something dumb.)

Me: “Honestly, I’m starting to lose faith in humanity.”

Little Sister: *completely earnestly* “Why? He’s not human.”

Me: “…Good point.”

Gorillas And Cows And Fires, Oh My

| VA, USA | Siblings

(My brother enjoys talking aloud while he plays games on his Kindle Fire. This one got a little weird.)

Brother: “No, no, no! Bad gorilla! Maxwell, can’t you stop creating things for five seconds? Holy crap, giant cow!”

Me: “You know I’m emailing my friend everything you’re saying right now, right?”

Brother: “Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! IT’S ON FIRE!”

(It took me a second to reassure myself that he was still playing the game.)

Getting The Sense That It Is Time To Wake Up

| AZ, USA | Siblings

(I am on vacation at my cousin’s house with my brother and parents. My cousins have dog, and I am sleeping. I feel something on my face and assume it is my mother waking me up.)

Me: “I’m awake, I’m– WHOA!”

(It is not my mother; it is the dog, who is now on my chest and staring intently at me. I look at my brother, who shrugs.)

Brother: “It happened to me, too. This dog must have super senses!”

(The dog sits contentedly between us and lets us pet her for about five minutes, when suddenly her ears perk and she zooms out of the room like a shot.)

Brother: “I told you, super senses!”

It’s Bark Is Worse Than Its Flight

| Japan | Pets & Animals, Siblings

(My family recently got a dog who does not like to be alone. When we leave the house, we leave her in a gated hallway. The gate is about three times her height. My family returned one day to her out of her kennel. Nothing had happened except there was a dark pee spot on the floor.)

Dad: “How did she jump that?”

Brother: “Maybe she can fly? She probably climbed it, though…”

(Two days later. We have improved the hallway and the gate is now about four or five times her height. We come home again to find her out of her hall, and another pee spot two inches from the other.)

Dad: “I think she squirmed through this space.”

Mom: “That space!? But it’s three inches wide!”

Brother: “I’m still not ruling out the possibility of flying.”

Don’t Be Hiss-terical

| PA, USA | Grandparents, Pets & Animals, Popular, Siblings

(My sister has always had a very strained relationship with our grandmother, who often is nasty and sarcastic towards her for no reason while taking offense to absolutely everything my sister says to her, whether justified or not. This conversation happened over a recent family gathering.)

Me: “So, my boyfriend and I may have accidentally adopted another kitten. We found one abandoned under our front porch and brought him in from the cold and now he seems to think he lives there.”

Sister: “I wish I could find a kitten under my porch, but I’d be worried that my garter snake that lives under there might try to hurt it.”

Grandmother: “You need to get rid of it.”

Sister: “But I don’t want to get rid of him! I named him Shoelace and I like him because he helps with our mouse infestation.”

Grandmother: “Well, I don’t like snakes and I think you should get rid of him! Kill him if at all possible!”

Sister: “Sorry, but I’m not going to hurt Shoelace just because you don’t like him. He’s not dangerous and he mostly just does his own thing and you’ll probably never see him unless you know where to look anyway.”

Grandmother: “Well, as long as you have a snake at your house, I’m never coming to visit again!”

(She then storms off angrily, leaving my sister and I standing there looking stunned.)

Me: “Do you think she was serious about that?”

Sister: “I hope so. What’s the largest species of snake that you can legally own as a pet in Pennsylvania?”

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