Category: Siblings

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On A Cocktail Of Lies And Cookies

| Pearl River, NY, USA | Children, Siblings

(My brother is in elementary school. It’s just before Thanksgiving and the teacher is asking the kids what they bring to their families’ Thanksgiving dinners. All of the kids give standard answers like “turkey” or “mashed potatoes.” That is, until she gets to my brother…)

Teacher: “And what do you bring to your family’s Thanksgiving dinner, [Brother]?”

Brother: “Cocktails!”

(My mother was mortified. We occasionally have a glass of wine or two, but there’s definitely no cocktails at Thanksgiving dinner. We still don’t know how he came up with that one. For the record, the only thing we’ve ever brought to Thanksgiving dinner was chocolate chip cookies.)

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A Stirring Story

| Niagara Falls, ON, Canada | Grandparents, Siblings

(My sister and I are in our mid-twenties. My grandmother is 87 and has been ordering frozen meal delivery for about a year now. She can still drive and likes to go out for dinner, so she’s just been ordering lunches. Still, she doesn’t always eat them and has a huge stack in her freezer.)

Grandma: *to my sister* “Can you go microwave me a meal?”

Sister: “Sure. It looks like there’s spaghetti, salmon, and lasagna.”

Grandma: “Oh, I don’t like fish. How about lasagna.”

(My sister gets the lasagna out of the freezer and neither of us can find microwave instructions on the package.)

Sister: “How do you cook this?”

Grandma: “Oh, I put it in for about five minutes, stir it up, then do another two or so.”

(My sister goes to the kitchen, after a few minutes the microwave beeps and there is a brief pause before…)

Sister: “How do I stir lasagna?”

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The Love Be-teen Siblings

| USA | Siblings

(It is my brother’s 20th birthday; he, my mother, and I are sitting in the living room waiting for my sister to come home so we can all go celebrate. When she walks in, she hugs him, looks him dead in the eye and says:)

Sister: “Congratulations on beating teen pregnancy, [Brother].”

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But That IS What It Means

| TX, USA | Siblings

(I’m with my sister, about to go shopping. I call shotgun and hop in the front seat. As she’s sitting in the back…)

Sister: “Why do they call it shotgun?”

Me: *sarcastically* “Because whoever rides shotgun is responsible for holding the gun.”

Sister: “Really?!”

Me: “Yeah, driver drives. Shotgun shoots people.”

Sister: ‘Oh… that makes sense.”

(She’s so gullible sometimes. It’s too easy.)

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The Nurturing Type

| CT, USA | Pets & Animals, Siblings

(We adopted our dog five years ago when she was about eight months old. When we brought her home she was quite shy, but she has since matured into a much more confident dog with some rather amusing quirks.)

Me: “[Dog], you’re such a weirdo. How is it that out of all the dogs at the shelter we brought home the weird one?”

Brother: “I think [Dog] is a case of nurture over nature.”

Me: “Knowing our family, you’re absolutely right.”

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