Category: Siblings

The Birds And The Bees And The Tadpoles

| USA | Children, Siblings

(My little brother is seven and I decide to explain to him how babies are made. In children’s terms, of course. For reference, I’m a girl.)

Me: “Every boy has little things called cells shaped like tadpoles inside; they swim in you right now!”

Brother: *grossed out* “Nooo, I don’t! YOU have them!”

(He was so disturbed by the thought of “tadpoles” swimming inside of him that he ran off, disgusted, covering his ears. It was hilarious. I didn’t even get to part how sperm gets inside a woman; I think he’ll be even more shocked! I’ll leave that to our parents, though. Good luck to them!)

Snaking Past The Parents

, | Detroit, MI, USA | Children, Pets & Animals, Siblings

(My nine-year-old nephew is fascinated by insects and reptiles, and proudly signs himself  Nephew THE ENTOMOLOGIST on emails. My sister and her husband have had to be very firm with him about the creepy-crawlies that he tries to bring in the house. One day she receives a call on her cell.)

Caller: “Hi, I’m with [Reptile Supply House] and I need to schedule a delivery.”

Sister: “A delivery of…?”

Caller: “You ordered a corn snake. We need to make sure that there’s someone at home to accept a live delivery.”

(Turned out, my nephew figured out how to set up a PayPal account and used his Christmas money to order the snake. Unfortunately for him, he had no phone and used my sister’s number for the transaction. When my sister contacted PayPal to shut down his account, she said the lady on the customer service line laughed so hard at the story she had to put a supervisor on the phone to finish the cancellation.)

A Maddeningly Short Name

| VA, USA | Children, Siblings

(My five-year-old brother has a huge fever and a high heart rate after what we thought was a little cold. We take him into the ER and are talking to the nurse when this exchange happens.)

Nurse: “Can you tell me your name?”

Brother: “[Shortened Version of name].”

Nurse: “Okay, is it [Full Version of name]?”

Brother: *deadpan* “Only when they’re mad at me.”

(It took a second for the nurse to compose himself to continue checking him over. I, however, was doubled over laughing as my mom just shook her head.)

Literally Fowl Language

| UT, USA | Siblings

(I am away from home when my brother calls.)

Brother: “Hey, did I catch you at a good time? Do you have a minute to talk?”

Me: “Oh, yeah. I can talk.”

Brother: “What are you up to?”

Me: “Literally waiting for the chickens to come home to roost.”

Brother: *confused* “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Me: “That I’m house-sitting for friends who have six chickens and it isn’t time for them to go into the coop yet?”

Brother: “Oh, you really did mean literally.”

Holy Mental Imagery, Batman!

| Jersey Shore, NJ, USA | Siblings

(My sister and I are both huge nerds. This came up when we were talking about The Lego Batman Movie which she loved and which I didn’t want to see.)

Me: “Kevin Conroy is the only Batman I love.”

Sister: “Whoa, way to snub Adam West.”

Me: “Adam West was a great Batman but there is only room in my heart for one.”

Sister: “I will personally shove Adam West in there even if he has to fit up Conroy’s butt.”

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