Category: Siblings


Hippo Hippie Hipsters, The Least Mainstream Of Them All

| USA | Siblings

(So my sibling and I are in their room talking and going through their stuff cleaning. They grab a round, blue tinted glasses and a colorful vest.)

Sibling: “What do I look like?”

Me: “A hippo! Hipster!” *howling with laughter* “I mean hippie!”

(We died laughing.)


Sin City Got Too Boring For Him

| New Zealand | Children, Siblings

(My dad is dropping me and my twin brother off at my mum’s. Whilst driving, Dad turns to my brother.)

Dad: “[Brother], do you know where god lives?”

Brother: “God lives in the clouds.”

Dad: “Good. Do you know where Satan lives?”

Brother: *thinking* “Satan lives… in New York.”


The Lawnmower Ban

| England, UK | In-Laws, Siblings

(It’s not that I do not like my brother-in-law, but he is a little eccentric, which comes off as annoying. More than once I have had to stop him irritating my kids, or doing or saying something stupid. We don’t spend any time together and that works for both of us. One afternoon his wife and his wife’s sisters are out together for some drinks. It’s late, the kids are in bed, and I’ve fired up the computer for a bit of gaming. I hear a loud banging on the back door.)

Me: “Oh, hi, what’s up?”

Brother-In-Law: *loudly* “Hey, can I borrow your lawnmower?”

Me: “Okay, just keep it down, can you? The kids are in bed. What do you need a lawnmower for? You don’t have a lawn.”

Brother-In-Law: “Oh, my friend needs one; I said he could borrow yours.”

Me: “Well, I guess, but make sure it comes back in one piece. Let me grab the keys.”

(He steps inside and to my surprise sits down. Immediately he gets out his phone.)

Me: “Here you go. You will have to grab it yourself; I can’t leave the kids alone.”

Brother-In-Law: *not looking up* “Oh, okay, thanks.”

(I stand there hand outstretched waiting.)

Brother-In-Law: “Your WiFi’s not working.”

Me: “Huh, no, I’m downloading an update.”


Me: “It’s going to be a while before it finishes.”

Brother-In-Law: “Oh, okay then. I’ll go.”

(I had to chase him to get the keys and the lawnmower back. When he finally turned up it was filthy and filled with grass. Despite my insistence he turned up again a few weeks later and borrowed it again whilst I was out, breaking the axle. He actually had the cheek to ask me when I was going to get it fixed as he needed it again, without offering to pay for the damage he did as “it was pretty old anyway.”)


Missing That Nugget Of Information

| PA, USA | Children, Siblings

(Mom has just sent my then-eight-year-old brother to the basement freezer to get some chicken nuggets.)

Little Brother: “Mom, I can’t find them!”

Mom: “That’s odd. I could have sworn I bought some… Please look again. I’m sure they’re down there.”

(He goes down to look for them again, coming up once more claiming that there are no chicken nuggets to be found.)

Mom: “Look, I KNOW there are chicken nuggets down there!”

Little Brother: “We don’t have any chicken nuggets! All we have are DINO nuggets!”

Mom: “…” *bursts into laughter*

(The chicken nuggets were shaped like dinosaurs, and the box was labeled ‘Dino Nuggets’! My mom still tells this story to guests, to my now eighteen year old brother’s dismay. She claims she’ll use it in her toast at his wedding, too!)


Your Brother Has Found Your Calling

| Copenhagen, Denmark | Siblings

(My brother rarely ever has his phone on, so most of our family members call me if they need to get a hold of him, sometimes without even trying his phone first.)

Me: “Someone just called with a survey and asked for you. Even people who don’t know us call me to get to you!”

Brother: *derisive laughter*

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