Category: Pets & Animals

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Cat Called Spot

| UT, USA | Pets & Animals, Spouses & Partners

(I’m sitting in our office, watching a video game stream with my husband. Our cat spends most of her day in the office, only roaming around at night, so my husband, who works from home, sees her more often than I do. Our cat has liked him better from day one. She walks into the office, and watches me from the corner.)

Me: “Does she usually hang out in that corner?”

Husband: *laughs* “No, she usually comes and sits by me, and I pet her. She’s giving you a funny look because you’re sitting in her spot.”

Me: “Well, hate to break it to you, cat, but it was my spot first.”

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Inside-Out Cat

| Renton, WA, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Pets & Animals

(I am a volunteer cat caretaker at a local animal shelter. Essentially I clean up, groom, and feed all rescued kitties and try to talk folk into adopting them. On this day a man and daughter are coo-ing over one of our recently arrived kittens that I’ve let out into the play area.)

Daughter: “Ooooh, daddy this one is so precious! And look, she loves me!” *the kitten is indeed licking her hand, purring, and rubbing its face against her* “Are you sure we can’t get another cat?”

Dad: “No, dear, not after what happened with the last one. I don’t want to have to replace the microwave again!”

(The daughter looked pouty and left with her father. I immediately put the kitten safely back in its cage and try not to shudder at the possible connotations of what was just said.)

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Me And My Roommouse

| Boston, MA, USA | Pets & Animals, Siblings

(My older brother moved out of his apartment a month early, but still had to pay last month’s rent to get his security deposit. I end up moving in for that last month until I can move into my own apartment the next month. One of the first nights, I see a mouse. I’m scared and hoping this happened to my brother and he has some trick to get rid of it.)

Me: *to Brother through text* “There’s a mouse in your apartment!”

(I sit there silently panicking for about ten minutes until he finally send a message.)

Brother: “Did you name it yet?”

(I did end up naming it Mr. Mousey.)

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His Bark Is Healthier Than His Bite

| USA | Pets & Animals, Siblings

(My sister buys a puppy, and shortly after that she has to go abroad on an emergency. She can’t take the dog, so she leaves the dog with us. After a while, she calls back.)

Sister: “So, how’s [Dog]?”

Me: “He’s getting really big now. He can now bark really loud, too. Wanna hear it?”

Sister: “Okay!”

(The dog only barks when I squeak his toy at him, so I get it and squeak away. He barks, but only a little.)

Me: “Did you hear it?”

Sister: “Yeah… What’s wrong with my dog?”

Me: “What do you mean? He’s fine.”

Sister: “He sounds sick!”

Me: “He– Oh! That was the toy, not him. It’s the only way he barks.”

Sister: “OH! A toy! I thought he was sick or something!”

(We laugh.)

Dog: “Woof!”

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Urine Trouble

| Houston, TX, USA | Houston, TX, USA | Children, Pets & Animals

(My two-year-old and I have just gotten home from grocery shopping. She has been yawning and rubbing her eyes, as it is past her usual bedtime. I go to get her out of her car seat.)

Me: “Aww, poor baby. Are you sleepy?”

Daughter: “No, I peed.”

(Sure enough, her car seat and shorts are soaked through. Our cat jumps into the car to greet his favorite person.)

Daughter: “No, [Cat]! I peed!”

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