Category: Pets & Animals

Can’t Blame That One On The Dog

| MD, USA | Parents & Guardians, Pets & Animals

(We recently got our first family dog and, despite initial resistance from my mom, he sleeps in between my mom and dad. My dad told me this story one day.)

Dog: *starts shifting in the bed, moving his head towards the pillows*

Mom: “What’s wrong, buddy?”

Dad: “He’s just getting comfortable. He’s fine.”

Dog: *continues shifting and ends up staring directly at my mom*

Mom: “I’m sorry, okay?”

(Yep, turned out mom ripped one right in the dog’s face and thought she could get away with it.)

The Cats Don’t Care Either Way

| Tulalip, WA, USA | Pets & Animals, Siblings

(After the cat wants out the third time within ten minutes:)

Me: “Cat, I am not a professional opener of doors for cats!”

Brother: “Apparently you are.”

Me: “Yeah… Wait, no! I don’t get paid! I am an amateur opener of doors for cats!”

Had The Last Meow

| IL, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Pets & Animals, Siblings

(I am in the car with my mother and sister, on our way to a Girl’s Night. I am recently married, and for some reason the conversation came to my eventual production of children.)

Mom: “I hope you have a girl. Girls are wonderful.”

Sister: “I don’t know… I think a boy would be better.”

Me: “I am not even the slightest bit ready for a baby. Why are we talking about this?”

Mom: “I like girl babies.”

Sister: “I like boy babies.”

Me: “And I like cats.”

You’re Not Going To Get Hearts With A Carrot

| USA | Pets & Animals, Siblings

(I’m introducing my older sister to a very popular sandbox game in which you can tame wolves.)

Sister: “So I just left click with the bones?”

Me: “Yep.” *not really paying attention to her*

Sister: “Oh, he loves me! He’s got hearts!”

Me: “Yep.”

Sister: “How do I feed him?”

Me: “Left click with meat. Or rotten flesh.”

Sister: “What? Why isn’t my dog vegan?”

(At which point I take my hands off the controls, turn around slowly in my chair, and face my sister with a “Are you kidding me” look on my face.)

Sister: “What?”

Must Love Dogs

| VIC, Australia | Pets & Animals

(The family dog often tries to nuzzle the face of our cat. One day, I hear this coming from the living room:)

Mom: “[Dog]! No! You need to learn!”

(I walk over and see Dog standing in front of a visibly annoyed Cat.)

Me: “[Dog], you’re not his type.”

Dog: *pauses, then walks away, looking at the ground*

Page 1/3312345...Last