Category: Parents & Guardians

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Didn’t Graduate With Math

| Shingle Springs, CA, USA | Parents & Guardians

(I’m in visiting my parents and am in the car with my 58-year-old mother. We are talking about our past high school reunions.)

Mom: “I went to my 10th year anniversary, but there was no one there I really cared about so I didn’t go to my 20th or my 30th.”

Me: “Are you going to go to your 40th?”

Mom: “I don’t know, probably not. I have a while before I have to worry about that.

Me: “Uh… Mom? It’s this year.”

Mom: *looks at me like I have three heads* “No, it isn’t. What are you talking about?”

Me: “It’s 2016. You graduated in 1976.”

Mom: *as she processes this, she gets a stunned look on her face.* “No way… No way! Oh, my god! 40 years!? How did that happen!?”

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On A One-Way Street To Teasing

| MA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(I am away at college, talking to my family on the phone. My sister is two years younger than I am. All three of them are on different extensions.)

Me: “Oh, hey, [Sister], did you take your driving test?”

Sister: “Yes.” *hangs up loudly*

Dad: “It, uh… it didn’t go so well.”

Mom: *trying not to laugh* “She went the wrong way down a one-way street.”

Me: “Uh-oh. Automatic fail?”

Dad: “Well, yeah… but then she got pulled over by a cop.”

Me: *bursts out laughing*

Mom: *she can’t help laughing either* “Don’t be mean.”

Me: “So, did she get a ticket?”

Dad: “No, but I got an earful from the examiner all the way back to the DMV. And she knows your cousin [Name], so…”

Me: “Oh, boy. Next reunion is going to be interesting…”

(For the record, she passed the test on the second try. And most of our (extremely numerous) cousins refrained from too much teasing. But not all of them.)

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When You Play With It Something Magical Happens

| BC, Canada | Parents & Guardians

(I am playing Katy Perry’s song “Dark Horse” for my dad.)

Katy Perry: “So, you want to play with magic…”

Dad: “So, you want to play with my WHAT?”

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