Category: Parents & Guardians

Critiquing Your Critiquing

| PA, USA | Parents & Guardians

(My mom has a habit of harshly judging strangers, whether it’s for having a different taste in fashion, for driving faster than her, or for making small mistakes, and she criticizes people constantly. I’ve just come home from a shopping trip, and this happens.)

Me: “I had to leave an aisle at one point, because the woman next to me wouldn’t stop spewing racist s***. I wish I’d said something. I’ve never heard someone being so openly hateful toward a group of people.”

Mom: “Well, you don’t know her life story. Maybe something bad happened to her.”

Me: “That’s not an excuse to act that way. She’s a thinking adult; she should know better.”

Mom: “I’m just saying, there might be a very good reason. You shouldn’t be so quick to judge.”

(So a cashier forgetting to use a coupon is a “stupid waste of space,” but a racist woman is a victim deserving sympathy. Fascinating.)

The Bagger Can’t Bag Your Baggage

| USA | Parents & Guardians

(My family is finishing checking out at a grocery store when this gem happens.)

Bagger: “Would you like any help out today?”

Mom: *serenely* “I think we’re beyond help, thanks.”

The Mother Of All Mistaken Identities

| UK | Parents & Guardians

(I have come home during break from university and realise that my parents changed their locks after a recent break-in across the road. I knock on the door and my mum answers it.)

Mum: “Sorry, we aren’t interested.” *closes the door*

(I find it quite humorous so I knock again. She doesn’t answer at first, but after the second knock she answers it again.)

Mum: “WE AREN’T INTERESTED!”

Me: “Mum—” *door slammed in my face*

(I go around to the window and try to knock but can’t see anything. After 10-15 minutes a police car arrives. They ask some questions and I provide my ID, and they leave laughing at how ridiculous it all is. I turn to the window and see my mum glaring at the officers and then at me. I knock again.)

Mum: “WHAT DO YOU WANT?! LEAVE US ALONE!”

Me: “Mum, it’s me…”

Mum: “…[My Name]?”

Me: “Who else?”

Mum: “You… look so different!”

(The only difference was about two days of growth on my face. Even my hair was same. She doesn’t have any memory problems, so who knows what was going through her head?!)

TomTomfoolery

| UK | Parents & Guardians

(We are travelling from Glasgow to Aberdeen to visit family. My mum is driving and swears she knows the journey. Knowing she isn’t too good with direction I decide to print them off and use our TomTom. It doesn’t start well, but she refuses to listen, so my dad, my brother, and I just decide to let her handle it alone. We all manage to doze off for an hour and wake up in a city only I have ever been to.)

Dad: “Where the h*** are we? And where’s the nav?”

Mum: “It kept shouting at me that I was going the wrong way. I think it’s broken.”

Dad: “Well, judging by where we are I think it was right.”

Mum: “No, I know exactly where we are: ABERDEEN!”

(She enters a roundabout and takes the fourth exit.)

Mum: *pointing* “Oh, look at that!”

Me: “Mum, that’s Carlisle Castle. We’re in England.”

(Somehow she managed to drive south, and didn’t realise when all signs saying Edinburgh disappeared. She still refuses to listen and starts to phone our relatives for help. After a full day of driving around Carlisle and the wider area, she accidentally ends up on the motorway and…)

Mum: “Oh, look, ‘Welcome to Scotland.’ I guess we were in England.”

All Of Us: “THAT’S WHAT WE’VE BEEN TELLING YOU!”

(We never made it to Aberdeen that weekend. My dad does the driving now, with my mum giving ridiculous directions the whole time.)

Raising A Point

| ME, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(My child is five months old. My seventeen-year-old sister has become a backseat parent. She berates me about everything, including cleaning, cooking, and caring for my daughter. Every day she sends a message asking if I bathed her, fed her, cleaned her, or she calls and gives me attitude. Not once does she offer to help, or ask how my husband and I are doing. She babysits her for one night. Our mother relays this to me the next day.)

Sister: “I didn’t think it be this hard!”

Mom: “What do you think your sister does all day? Sit on her a**?”

Sister: “Yes…”

Mom: “No, dear, she doesn’t. She’s trying; give her a break. She has to learn as she goes.”

Sister: “I’ll never bug her about raising [Daughter] again… I didn’t realize it wasn’t easy.”

Mom: “I’m curious as to why you thought it was?”

Sister: “You did it?”

(Apparently my sister thought because my mom raised four of us that it should be easy for me to raise one baby. When I arrived to get my baby, mom shared stories about how hard it was, and when and how she made mistakes. She even admitted that I was her hardest baby being her first at 19 years old. My sister never did bother me again about how I parent.)

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