Category: LGTBQ

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In Need Of Some Sisterly Advice

| Canada | Children, LGTBQ

(My wife and I, both female, are at my family reunion. A girl who’s related to me in some way has sort of been following us around all day. Finally…)

Girl: “I wish I got along with MY sister that well!”

(My wife and I exchange glances, trying not to laugh.)

Me: “Let’s just walk away and let her parents explain this one.”

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Don’t Be A Drag, Just Cause A Scene

| Nashville, TN, USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, LGTBQ, Parents & Guardians, Popular

(My dad is… let’s just say not the most openly tolerant individual in the world. I had grown up showing pretty traits and he’d long since been trying to “man it out of me” with things like forced sports, wrestling, etc. etc. ultimately ending with him threatening to disown me if I ever bring anyone but a “nice, white Christian girl” back home, not aware that I’d long since become comfortable in being gay. I’m twenty-two when this happens. I have a job and have just rented my first apartment with my boyfriend of two years who I’ve kept secret from the rest of the family. After I’ve gotten everything moved out, I decide to say goodbye for the last time by coming out and leaving, disowning him before he can do it to me. After I’ve said goodbye to my mom and brother, I turned to him.)

Me: “Well, that’s everything; I guess that’s it. My ride should be here soon.”

Dad: “Oh, yeah, you had that friend of yours helping you, right? I’ll be honest. I’ve never felt good about him. He’s always so…” *at this point, he inserts a few gay slurs here*

(I just clear my throat as my boyfriend pulls up.)

Boyfriend: “Heeeeeey! You ready to do the thing?”

Me: “Yep! Just as planned.”

(At this, I reach into his car, pull out a boombox, and set it on the ground to play. Every song is by a gay or at least flamboyant singer about the joys of living life and loving who you want. After it starts playing, I hop in the car, kiss my boyfriend, and drive off before my dad can get another word in. Later that night, I’m talking to my brother.)

Brother: “Oh, man, you should have seen it. He just stared dead for like half an hour before running over the stereo with his car. He was SOOOOO mad. It was amazing!”

(Apparently I left an impression, because when my little brother came out as trans a few years later, he did the exact same thing before he left.)

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Family Transcends Hate

| Chicago, IL, USA | In-Laws, LGTBQ, Parents & Guardians, Popular

(I recently came out to my wife as transgender after 15 years of marriage. It’s been a rough road, but we decide we’re going to stay together because we love each other. Before I begin transitioning, we need to tell my mother-in-law. She’s a sweet woman and adores me, but she’s in her 80s and a strong Catholic, so we’re not sure how she’ll react. My wife sits down with her and tells her about me. Her reaction is priceless.)

Mother-In-Law: “Does this mean I finally have a daughter-in-law?”

(I love that woman!)

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Common Sense Is On The Agenda

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | LGTBQ, Popular, Siblings

(My brother has been assigned two newspaper opinion articles to analyse for English language analysis, and comes to me for help. Both articles are about the Australian “Safe Schools” Program, an organisation which runs programs and provides materials for schools to increase tolerance and prevent bullying of LGBTI students. One article is supportive of the program, and the second article is critical of it. It is the second article my brother is having trouble with.)

Brother: “All I can tell is the tone is really passive-aggressive and whatever the message is, it seems really subtle. I said the author’s contention is more funding for Christian programs but I don’t know if that’s right.”

Me: *skims the article* “Well, it looks like the author’s contention is that Safe Schools should be scrapped because it promotes a gay agenda rather than tolerance.”

Brother: *frowns* “Okay…”

Me: “See here…” *points to sentence* “…and here.” *points to another section* “He explicitly refers to the existence of a gay agenda twice. The Christian thing is just an analogy. If Christian fliers and study programs are banned in schools due to indoctrination or ‘promoting their own agendas,’ the author thinks it’s unfair that Safe Schools should be exempt.”

Brother: “But Safe Schools is just promoting tolerance and anti-bullying! Isn’t that a good agenda?”

Me: “Yes, but this author is saying Safe Schools are more interested in pushing its own ‘gay agenda’ as opposed to preventing bullying.”

Brother: “I don’t get it.”

(I finally realise his confusion is not with the article itself, but with the basic concept of a “gay agenda” the author keeps referring to.)

Me: “Wait… do you know what a ‘gay agenda’ is?”

Brother: “No…”

Me: “Oh… well… when people refer to a ‘gay agenda,’ they mean that gay people or people who support LGBT equality actually have an agenda to promote a ‘gay’ lifestyle, which is supposedly bad because being gay is apparently immoral, in their eyes.”

Brother: “But being gay is not… a lifestyle choice?”

Me: “It isn’t, but these people believe or claim it is.”

Brother: *long pause* “That doesn’t make sense.”

Me: “Don’t worry. It doesn’t make sense to me either.”

(After fifteen minutes of him scratching his head and me trying my best to explain how homophobic arguments worked, the only thing my brother could say was:)

Brother: “But nobody actually believes this shit, right? People just say it to cover up their homophobia, but nobody’s stupid enough to actually believe it, right?”

(For a seemingly immature 17-year-old boy who just the week before had been complaining about the lack of “hot girls” at his social, I had never been more proud.)

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This Event Has Reached Peak Fabulous

| Leeds, England, UK | LGTBQ, Parents & Guardians

(My mum and I are out shopping on the bank holiday and see a lot of activity around the gay bar district, which is a square called Queen’s Court. As we pass the entrance we see a sign saying “This is an event for our gay customers and their friends, and is a no attitude zone”.)

Mum: “‘No attitude zone’? What’s that supposed to mean?”

Me: “Maybe it means they won’t let the camp, sassy ones in.”

Mum: “Hah! ‘No queens in Queen’s court.’”

(Our best guess was that it probably meant no homophobia and no hitting on people inappropriately, but it was a very awkward way to put it!)

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