Category: LGTBQ

Their Gay Appalling

| NM, USA | Aunts & Uncles, Cousins, LGTBQ

(I’m a waitress and my aunt and uncle come in with their great grandson, eight, and great granddaughter, six. Their grandson is my cousin [not the father of above children] and he’s around the same age as me. He’s also gay. His family jumps from being okay with it to being appalled by it. We make small talk and they order. I’m bringing out their food at this time.)

Me: “So how is [Gay Cousin]? I haven’t seen him and his boyfriend in awhile.”

Aunt: *stark white* “Fine.” *she says it fast and quick*

(I realize they’re in the appalled-by-it phase so I change the subject and leave the table. My aunt comes up to me as they’re cashing out.)

Aunt: “Look here. [Gay Cousin] is not gay. We don’t talk about it. He has his friend. I want you to go explain to [Young Niece and Nephew] that boys can’t be with boys. NOW!”

Me: *chuckles because I’m nervous and a little off-put* “They can, though. I’m just gonna tell them that sometimes, boys like boys and girls like girls. So maybe you’d prefer to tell them?”

(She looked like she wanted to kill me. At a loss for words, she turned away from me and walked out, telling her niece and nephew that I was going to Hell. She never talked to me again. Oh, well.)

Opposite Standards For The Opposite Sex

| St. Louis, MO, USA | LGTBQ, Parents & Guardians

(My mother has always been super strict, especially when it comes to me and my siblings’ dating life. We were always told that were we absolutely never allowed to live with someone of the opposite sex before marriage, regardless of whether we were dating them or not. I’m 19 and currently attending university while living at home. While I want to move out, I cannot afford to rent a place of my own at my current income. I share my gripes with my best friend of over five years, who is male and gay. He informs me that he is planning on transferring to the same university I’m attending for the upcoming fall semester and asks if I would be interesting in getting an apartment together. I agree and we start discussing the details of becoming future roommates. That evening I share the news with my mother.)

Me: “[Best Friend] is planning on attending [Major University] in the fall, so he’ll be up here a couple times between now and when the semester starts. He really would rather live in an apartment than on campus, so he asked if I’d be interested in getting an apartment with him since we’ll be going to the same school together and we’ve known each other for so long so it wouldn’t be awkward or anything.”

Mom: “Well, of course you told him no.”

Me: “Actually, I told him yes.”

Mom: “I don’t know why you told him yes; you know I’d never allow it.”

Me: “But Mom, it’s [Best Friend]. You’ve known him since my freshman year of high school. He’s been over here numerous times, had dinner with us at least once a week all the way up to our graduation, he’s even spent the night in the guest room a number of times. Mom, you’ve seen the man in his pajamas and made him breakfast. And probably the most important fact: he is gay. As in he’d never be interested in me sexually as he prefers guys.”

Mom: “The answer is still no. I understand that he’s your best friend, but I won’t allow my daughter to live with a man who is not her husband. It’s that simple. If you want to move out of here so badly, find yourself a nice girl to move in with and it won’t be such an issue.”

(I drop it for the time being, mostly since I have months to convince her otherwise. Fast forward two weeks and my mother meets me and one of my friends from the university for lunch. This friend is female, a lesbian, and has only met my mother twice before. Lunch goes great and afterwards I go with my mother for some shopping.)

Mother: “I like [Female Friend]. She seems like a really nice girl. But was something bothering her? She kept checking her phone and had this worried look on her face.”

Me: “Yeah, she’s having some roommate issues with the girls in her dorm. So much so that she’s been searching for an affordable apartment in the area, but she’s realizing that she can’t afford something by herself.”

Mother: “So why doesn’t she get a roommate?”

Me: “She doesn’t know anyone out here and isn’t really the type to room with someone she doesn’t know. She’s asked me if I’d be interested in getting an apartment together.”

Mother: “Well, if that’s what you want, go ahead. I mean, she seems like a nice girl and everything.”

Me: “Well that’s a bit hypocritical of you, don’t you think?”

Mother: “Excuse me?”

Me: “You’re willing to let me move in with a girl whom I’ve only know for a couple of months, whom you’ve only met a couple of times, and is interested in having a relationship with other girls, simply on the basis that she is another girl like myself. Yet you’re not willing to let me move in with [Best Friend] whom we’ve both known for years, and is interested in having a relationship with other guys, simply on the basis that he is a guy.”

(Turned out I stumped my mother and in the end, after taking a hard look at the situation, she decided it was “safer” for me to move in with a gay man than a gay woman. To this day she doesn’t understand the point I was trying to get across, but in the end I got to move in with my best friend and out of the house.)

The Rainbow Found You Early

| MD, USA | LGTBQ, Parents & Guardians

Me: “Mom, I think I might be gay.”

Mom: “Yeah. I’ve thought that for about ten years.”

Me: “Um… ten years ago, I was six.”

Mom: “Okay, so I didn’t do the math.”

Cutting The Hair ‘Straight’

| USA | LGTBQ, Parents & Guardians

(I am 14 and I decide to donate my incredibly long hair to one of the charities that makes wigs for children and teens with cancer. (Note: I’m a girl.) My mom agrees to let me do it, and drops me off at the salon while she runs some errands. I’d never had short hair before, and when the stylist asked what kind of cut I wanted, I just told her whatever she thought would look nice. She gave me a kind of bob-cut, but could tell I wasn’t into it.)

Stylist: “Would you like to try something else?”

Me: “I think so…”

Stylist: “I honestly think you would look amazing with a pixie cut.” *shows me a picture* “Would you like to try that?”

Me: “Yes! That looks like P!nk’s hair!” *she was one of my favorite singers at the time*

Stylist: “Okay! Here we go!”

(She gives me an amazing pixie cut, and it really flatters my face more than my long hair ever did. I’m waiting excitedly for my mom to pick me up, but the look on her face when she walks through the door is not reassuring.)

Mom: “[My Name]! What have you done?!”

Me: “I donated my hair… like we talked about.”

Mom: “You didn’t need to cut THAT much off!”

Me: “I like it! And it’s going to be so easy to take care of now.”

Mom: “But… but people will think you’re a lesbian!”

(By now the stylist, her coworkers, and the other salon patrons are staring at us. I’m on the verge of tears, because my mom had always talked about respecting everyone no matter what their race, religion, sexual orientation, etc. and now she’s said something so stereotypical and ignorant.)

Me: “Mom, I know this is a surprise, but [Close Family Friend] has this kind of haircut, and she’s very happy with her husband. Also, both [Grandma #1] and [Grandma #2] have short hair. Are you saying I can’t be straight and have short hair unless I’m already married or old?”

(After a few minutes of silence, my mom did apologize and we were able to leave the salon on good terms. Fast-forward a few weeks, and I’ve been getting nothing but compliments on my hair. As soon as she saw how much other people liked my haircut, my mom started saying things like: “Isn’t that cut flattering?” or “I don’t know why My Name didn’t do this sooner!”. No more mentions of potential lesbianism. *sigh* Thanks, Mom.)

Don’t Men-tion It

| WA, USA | LGTBQ, Parents & Guardians

(I am having lunch with my mom for the first time since getting engaged. As a woman engaged to a trans-woman, I don’t expect much, but I thought my mom had been making progress.)

Mom: “Is your current lifestyle choice related to [Abusive Ex]?”

Me: “What do you mean by that?”

Mom: “Are you afraid of men?”

Me: “I started dating [Fiancée] before she came out, and I had three boyfriends between. Does that sound like afraid of men to you?”

Mom: “I was just curious.”

(Guess who doesn’t understand why she’s not the exception to our ‘no family’ reception.)

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