Category: In-Laws

Still Stubborn By Any Name

| Brooklyn, NY, USA | In-Laws, Siblings

Brother-In-Law: *to my niece* “You could take a pony and a donkey and call it a ponkey!”

Me: “…You know that’s already a thing. It’s called a mule…”

A Capital Idea

| Chicago, IL, USA | In-Laws, Parents & Guardians

(As we’re sitting around after dinner on Labor Day, the kids are playing in the pool. My nephew has a knack for getting into trouble. After his latest incident:)

Father-In-Law: “Sometime with kids you need to resort to capital punishment.”

Me: “I think you mean CORPORAL punishment.”

Father-In-Law: “Well, sometimes you do feel like killing them!”

Chose Your Iron Maiden

| BC, Canada | In-Laws, Parents & Guardians

(My fiancé and I have been living with his parents. I am doing the dishes after dinner, and I always listen to music when I do them. I am singing “Fear of the Dark” by Iron Maiden, and my father-in-law is a HUGE Maiden fan. Both my father-in-law and fiancé are in the dining room, and my father-in-law is staring at me adoringly.)

Me: *pauses music* “What?”

Father-In-Law: *looks at boyfriend* “I’m so glad you picked her.”

Propose A New Number

| TX, USA | In-Laws, Siblings

(I am sitting outside with my sister-in-law discussing proposals when she decides to text suggestions to my boyfriend. We have talked about marriage, but he has not yet proposed.)

Sister-In-Law: *texting* “Make sure that when you propose to [My Name] that you get down on one knee. This is very important!”

(After a few minutes of talking…)

Sister-In-Law: “Uh… [My Name]? Is [Boyfriend]’s number still [number]?”

Me: “No… not for at least four years now. Why?”

Sister-In-Law: “Oops… I just got a text saying “Okay. Wrong number.” No wonder he never replies when I invite him to dinner! I’ve been inviting some stranger, and here I thought your boyfriend was just being a jerk!”

Adopting A Sense Of Humor, Part 6

| USA | Children, Cousins, In-Laws

(My sister and I are both adopted but we look alike, dark Hispanic skin, short, and black hair. Her husband is 6’5″, pasty white, with light hair, but their baby boy gets all his looks from his mommy.)

Brother-In-Law: “So I was out with [Baby] and some random woman stops me saying ‘Oh, how sweet; you adopted a poor baby’ and I argued with her that I was the biological father until I gave up.”

Our Cousin: “You know [Baby]. He looks like a mini [My Name]. You could have adopted. Look, their baby pictures are the same!”

Me: *grab the baby and start shouting* “I shall call him Mini-Me!”

Sister: “You’re weird. That’s how we know you’re adopted. Now, gimme my baby.”

Me: “No, you’re adopted.” *baby stars spitting up* “So yeah, [Brother-In-Law], you can re-adopt him now.”

Related:
Adopting A Sense Of Humor, Part 5
Adopting A Sense Of Humor, Part 4
Adopting A Sense Of Humor, Part 3

He’s Either A Genius Or Insane

| Akron, OH, USA | In-Laws, Siblings

(After dinner, a couple of us, including my brother-in-law, decided to watch ‘Family Feud’. During this game the category was along the lines of ‘something that a yoga instructor would hate someone to do during their class.’)

Contestant: “Try to take over the class?”

Me: *while not looking at the TV* “Same thing we do every night, Pinky; try to take over the class!”

Brother-In-Law: *looks at me weirdly* “I didn’t think you were old enough to know that reference.”

Me: *smiling* “Reruns are my childhood.”

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