Category: In-Laws

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BBQed Wallet

| England, UK | In-Laws, Siblings

(My wife’s sister normally makes very little effort, expecting everyone else to make plans for her, then complains that she is never included. Surprisingly, she turns up out of the blue at our house.)

Wife: “Whilst your here, why don’t we have a barbeque?”

Sister-In-Law: “Err, yeah, sounds good.”

Me: “Great, although we don’t have any charcoal, sausages, or buns. And I’ve had a drink.”

Brother-In-Law: “That’s okay, I don’t mind driving you to the shop.”

(We go through the shop, picking out a few things to buy. He makes a show of commenting how great X and Y product is, and how he will pay for them. I pay for most of them and he pays for his bit. We get back home and before I even unpack)

Me: “Hey, where’s [Brother-In-Law]?”

Sister-In-Law: “Oh, he just popped home.”

(He turned up later empty handed. All the bits he bought he put back in his house. They spent the afternoon mooching of us. Unsurprisingly, they didn’t get invited back again.)

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A Fateful Shopping Trip

| England | In-Laws, Parents & Guardians

(My husband and I are sitting with his mum, having a general conversation. His mum is known for going on odd tangents.)

Mother-In-Law: *suddenly, and seriously* “I believe in fate.”

Husband: *slightly confused* “Oh, do you?”

Mother-In-Law: “Yes, because I went shopping and bought a nice pair of shoes. And then when I came home I found one of my dresses, and it goes perfectly with those shoes. So that proves that fate is real.”

(Cue my husband and I leaving the room to have a quick laugh.)

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Not Her Calling

| Albany, NY, USA | In-Laws, Parents & Guardians, Popular

(My husband and I are visiting his mother, who is difficult at the best of times. We’re trying to leave to meet other family for dinner but my mother-in-law can’t find her cell phone. My husband is already in the car downstairs.)

Mother-In-Law: “We aren’t leaving until I find my phone.”

Me: “Did you try calling it?”

Mother-In-Law: *sneering with disdain* “Calling it?”

Me: “Yes…?”

Mother-In-Law: “What will that do?”

Me: *confused by her attitude* “Tell you where it is?”

Mother-In-Law: *sighs heavily* “It won’t work, but okay.” *turns to her apartment in general, cups her hands around her mouth, and shouts* “TELEPHONE! TELEPHONE!”

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