Category: In-Laws

Losing A Finger Is The Tip Of The Iceberg

| ON, Canada | In-Laws, Parents & Guardians, Popular, Siblings

(I’m at my parents for the summer, and my sister and her husband are visiting for the weekend. There are five adults and four of us have had oddly similar injuries. My eight-month-old niece is playing in a playpen and my mom is concerned that she’ll get her fingers caught in something.)

Mom: “Careful, you’ll lose your fingertip!”

Me: “Well, that’s nothing new in this family.”

Sister: “Raise your hand if you’ve lost a fingertip!”

(My sister, brother-in-law, father, and I all raise a hand. My mom facepalms.)

Brother-In-Law: *to sister* “How’d you do it?”

Sister: “Deli slicer!”

Brother-In-Law: “Me, too!” *they high-five* “What were you slicing?”

Sister: “Ham.”

Brother-In-Law: “Ah… tomatoes.”

Dad: “I was cutting my finger!”

(He was trimming hedges at work and mistook his finger for a branch. And then stuck his finger back on with a band-aid.)

Me: “I broke a glass sculpture.”

Dad: “Mine grew back!”

Brother-In-Law: “So did mine!”

Sister: “Mine, too!”

Me: “Mine didn’t. I’m still missing parts of my fingerprints.”


Family Transcends Hate

| Chicago, IL, USA | In-Laws, LGTBQ, Parents & Guardians, Popular

(I recently came out to my wife as transgender after 15 years of marriage. It’s been a rough road, but we decide we’re going to stay together because we love each other. Before I begin transitioning, we need to tell my mother-in-law. She’s a sweet woman and adores me, but she’s in her 80s and a strong Catholic, so we’re not sure how she’ll react. My wife sits down with her and tells her about me. Her reaction is priceless.)

Mother-In-Law: “Does this mean I finally have a daughter-in-law?”

(I love that woman!)

Red Light Leader: It’s A Trap!

| Rockville, MD, USA | In-Laws, Parents & Guardians

(I’m driving my mother-in-law to our nail appointment the day before her youngest son’s wedding.)

GPS: “Speed trap reported ahead.”

(The traffic in front of us slows and comes to a complete stop.)

Mother-In-Law: “Oh! Is this because of the speed trap?”

Me: *pointing ahead* “No, it’s because of that red light.”

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