Category: In-Laws

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The Ladies Helped Partly

| GA, USA | In-Laws, Parents & Guardians

(My husband and I are at his parents’ house. He and his dad have fixed a pressure washer, and are trying to put it back together. We’ve watching them struggle with a particular part for almost an hour, getting frustrated to the point of cussing, and involving screwdrivers and pliers in an attempt to get it to fit.)

Mother-In-Law: “Do you mind if we look at it? A fresh pair of eyes might help.”

(We pick up the part they were trying to put back in, spend about 15 seconds looking at it, turn it around, and slide it right in.)

Me: “What would they do without us?”

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Money Makes The World Go Round Behind Your Back

| England, UK | In-Laws, Siblings

(My wife’s grandfather died suddenly. He wasn’t a wealthy man but had some savings. The subject of inheritance comes up.)

Sister-In-Law: “He mentioned to [Grandmother] that he saved a little bit of money for the both of us.”

Wife: “Oh, okay. Well, that would help.”

Sister-In-Law: “Yeah, us too. But I don’t think it should be split equally.”

Wife: “What do you mean?”

Sister-In-Law: “Well, we are struggling more than you, and we just moved house.”

Wife: “Wait, you want more?”

Sister-In-Law: “Well, yeah! [My Name] makes a lot of money.”

Me: “What has that got to do with anything?”

Sister-In-Law: “I’m just saying we could do with the money more than you.”

Me: “Unless you have forgotten, we have two kids. And a much bigger mortgage.”

Sister-In-Law: “Well, yeah, but—”

Me: “It’s funny how you are struggling but can have a five-star holiday every year, still have a season ticket, and go out to eat every month. We don’t and you are the ones that are struggling. Besides, you both work; [Wife] can’t at the moment. You two are taking just as much as us home every month.”

Sister-In-Law: “Well, [Husband] really needs a new car.”

Me: “Me, too; besides, it’s not your decision.”

(We found out that she went behind our back and told her grandmother she needed the money more than us — just weeks after she lost her husband. In the end, neither of us got anything (which we were fine with, as the money was never ours) and she spent it on a memorial.)

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Needs To Reorient The Car

| Buffalo, NY, USA | In-Laws, LGTBQ, Siblings, Sons & Daughters

(My daughter has recently come out as a lesbian; most of our family is very supportive. She comes out to her aunt (my sister-in-law) as we’re parking in front of the local mall. My sister-in-law parks so badly that the car is at a 45 degree angle with the lines.)

Sister-In-Law: “Wow, I didn’t park very well, did I?”

Daughter: “It’s still straighter than I am.”

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Made Your Bed, Now You Must Lie In it

| IN, USA | In-Laws, Parents & Guardians

(My boyfriend and I go to different schools for college, so when we are home on winter break, we try to spend a lot of time together. We are both staying at our parents’ houses, but I am house-sitting for a friend who doesn’t mind if we stay there together. My phone rings while we are ‘relaxing’ on the guest bed; it is his mom.)

Me: “Hi, what’s up?”

Mother-In-Law: “Oh, I’m sorry, did I wake you? Are you in bed or are you with my son?”

Me: *so close to answering “both” to his extremely religious mother* “Um, uh, he’s here. Did you need to talk to him?”

Mother-In-Law: “Nope, he just left his phone here and didn’t say where he was going! Tell him I’ll see him when he gets home.” *hangs up*

Boyfriend: “And the award for the most awkward conversation starter ever goes to my mother!” *pauses* “I would have answered ‘yes.'”

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Never Sausage Obnoxiousness

| England, UK | In-Laws, Siblings

(My wife recently left her job, after the cost of childcare went up again, meaning we were actually losing money with her at work. Most of her family are pretty decent about it, but her sister and brother-in-law are either oblivious or just obnoxious. We have a small BBQ; we pay for the food but ask that guests contribute by bringing drinks. Everyone is enjoying themselves when my brother-in-law starts up.)

Brother-In-Law: “Do you have any [Soda #1]? I don’t drink [Soda #2].”

Me: “Sorry, I think it’s all gone.”

Brother-In-Law: “Oh, okay. I have some at home. We brought loads the other week.”

Me: “Oh, great.”

Brother-In-Law: “I think I have some sausages. I will check when I get there.”

(He disappears for ages, eventually returning with a single can of [Soda #2].)

Me: “That’s a shame; did you not have any sausages?”

Brother-In-Law: “Yeah, but I want them tonight.”

Me: “…”

(He sat there for the rest of the night playing on his phone using our WiFi. When he was thirsty he retreated to his car for another can from his private stash. That was, until the WiFi suddenly had ‘issues’ and turned off, then he suddenly remembered that he had to go home!)

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