Category: Grandparents


All Manner(less) Of Callers

| Bay Area, CA, USA | Grandparents

(After reading a Not Always Working post about getting rid of telemarketers, my friend and I can’t wait to try it out. We use it the first few times and it goes well. The next time my friend answers the phone though, this happens.)

Friend: “Thank you for calling Dirty Dan’s house of hookers. You’ve got the dough; we’ve got the blow. Can I help you?”

(Listens and his face goes white.)

Friend: “Oh, hi, Grandma. How are you?”

(Listens again.)

Friend: “No, there’s nothing weird going on here. We were just having a little fun, you know?”

(Listens again.)

Friend: “Oh, yes, my parents taught me phone manners. It’s just non-manners day in this house.”

(Listens again.)

Friend: “Uh, yeah, I understand. Can I let you talk to mom?”

(That was the last time we used that greeting.)


I’m Good Is Bad For You

| USA | Grandparents

(I’m visiting my grandma as a teen and reading a book on the couch when she comes out of her room.)

Grandma: “Do you want to play cribbage?”

(I pride myself on being a good granddaughter and I spend a lot of time with her when I visit playing games, instead of just being on my phone, but I don’t like playing this game because of the math involved.)

Me: “I’m good.”

Grandma: “Great!”

(Next thing I know, she’s pulling over a card table and getting the game out. That day I learned that phrase had a different meaning for Grandma.)


A Crowd-Pleasing Book

| USA | Grandparents, Non-Dialogue

My dad had recently started his own business. My grandparents have come to town to visit, and my dad and grandma spend a few hours discussing his business plan, including contrasting it with crowdfunding and other things that he’d learned getting his business degree that hadn’t existed when my grandma retired.

A few days later, my dad gets an urgent phone call from my grandma; she had ordered “something important” for him and should arrive in the mail any second now, and to call and let her know as soon as he received it.

Nearly a week later, the mystery package arrived. Inside was a book: “Crowdfunding For Dummies.”


Ate A Gross Amount

| Germany | Grandparents

(My step-sister and I are staying with her grandparents. Her grandma makes a really gross salad that my sister and I both hate. We don’t want to be rude, and we eat it as quickly as possible to get rid of it.)

Grandma: “What did you think of the salad? You certainly gobbled it up!”

Me & Sister: “Oh, yeah, it was great!”

Grandma: “Since you liked it so much, I’ll make it again!”

Me & Sister: “Oh. Greaaat!”

(And she did!)


That Same Old (Fashioned) Argument Again

| Norway | Grandparents, Parents & Guardians

(My name, though popular in some countries, is very unusual and old-fashioned here, and people have a tendency to pronounce and even spell it wrong. My mum is telling me the story of how I got my name. Note: I have two older brothers, who’ve both been born by this point.)

Grandma: *to my mum* “You know, all my daughters say I have such a pretty name, but none of you have had the decency to name your daughter after me!”

Mum: *just trying to calm her* “No need to make a fuss. I’ll name my daughter after you.”

Grandma: *in a huff* “Yeah, you can say that. You’re not having more kids!”

(My parents had settled on having two kids, but lo and behold, Mum got pregnant again. She really didn’t want to name me after Grandma, but being the stubborn woman she was, Grandma did not let it go.)

Mum: “I can’t name a little baby [Name]. It’s so old-fashioned and unusual. It wouldn’t be fair to a little girl.”

Grandma: “Well, you promised. And for your information, that little girl will actually be an adult for most of her life!”

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