Category: Grandparents

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Treat An Old Feller Like Old Yeller

| Greenville, SC, USA | Grandparents

(My grandfather has had a lot of health problems lately which have made his already-abrasive personality, well, nearly impossible to be around. Several family members have gotten together to talk about his prognosis, but some of us have also been venting about how he’s treated us. When Grandpa is healthy, he loves to hunt, and he has several guns. My uncle comes in carrying a small box.)

Grandma: “What’s that?”

Uncle: “They’re for Dad.”

Mom: “Oh, it must be bullets!”

Me: “I thought we agreed we WEREN’T going to shoot him?”

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Hooked On Church

| UT, USA | Children, Grandchildren, Grandparents, Popular

(I’m around four or five years old. My mom is not a giant fan of religion due to how hypocritical it could be, and especially hates it when my grandmother nags her about it. She’s also irritated that my grandmother will drag me to church without her permission and I’ve also told her multiple times how much I hate going. Finally, she decides to stop fighting with my grandmother about it, coming up with an even better idea. Because she knows how grown-ups tend to talk to children, she teaches me what to say when asked certain questions. This happens the next time I go to church and talk with several adults throughout the day.)

Friend: “So, sweetie, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

Me: *pretending to think* “Umm… When I grow up… I wanna be a hooker!”

(My grandma nearly has a heart attack upon hearing about this and later yells at my mom.)

Grandma: “Do you know what your daughter has been saying today!?”

Mom: *smiles proudly* “I told you to stop taking her to church.”

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Nana Nono

| PA, USA | Grandparents, Popular, Siblings

(Sometimes Facebook will recommend groups to you if one or more of your friends are members. One day I get a recommendation for an “18+ yaoi fangirl” group. I then check to see which of my friends is a member out of curiosity and scream.)

Sister: “What’s wrong?”

Me: “I just learned more about Nana than I think I’ve ever wanted to know!”

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