Category: Grandparents

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A Light Touch

| UT, USA | Grandparents

(I’m at a bridal shower for my husband’s cousin. We’re playing a game where you have to guess which love song corresponds to the movie, and it’s Disney/Pixar themed. My husband’s grandmother is there, and although she’s one of the best people on the planet, she’s clueless about stuff sometimes.)

Grandma: “That ‘See The Light’ song goes with Toy Story 2.”

Me: “What makes you say that?” *not sure if she’s joking or serious*

Grandma: “Well, because it has that Buzz Lightyear guy.”

(She was serious.)

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Don’t Have A Cow, Mom

| USA | Aunts & Uncles, Grandparents

(My cousin has moved to property in a rural area. Not long after she moves, my grandmother stays with her for a few days. When she gets back she is gushing about the animals my cousin now has.)

Grandmother: “They have horses for each of them; even the little ones are learning to ride. Oh, and they have the cutest little calves. The kids have named them Bill and Ben.”

Dad: “With names like Bill and Ben, they aren’t going to get much in the way of milk out of them.”

Grandmother: “Don’t be silly. They got them for the kids to play with.”

(It’s quite a while before she visits my cousin again. When they get back my Aunt gleefully tells us the story.)

Aunt: “We arrived just before dinnertime and [Cousin] had cooked a beautiful meal for us. Mom was raving about how lovely and tender the meat was, then made the mistake of asking what it was. [Cousin] looked at her plate and said ‘I don’t know. It could be Bill or it could be Ben. I can’t tell the difference any more.’ You should have heard Mom scream and she refused to eat any meat from then on.”

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Child Of Bodom

| PA, USA | Grandparents, Parents & Guardians, Popular

(My dad relates this story to me after telling me that he knew ever since I was a baby that I would grow up to be a metal-head just like him. It takes place around 1991 when I’m only about less than a year old or so while we still lived with my grandparents.)

Grandfather: “She hasn’t stopped crying for an hour and I don’t know what’s wrong with her!”

Dad: “Maybe you should put on some actual music instead of this crap?” *referring to the ‘toddler tunes’ type music my grandmother put on for me*

Grandfather: “I had the radio on for a while, but it didn’t work either!”

Dad: “Hang on a moment, I have an idea.”

(My dad goes out to his car and returns with a cassette tape.)

Grandfather: “‘Black Sabbath: Sabbath Bloody Sabbath’? You want me to put this on for a baby?”

Dad: “Yes. Just try it.”

(Hilariously, just two minutes in, my crying stops and I start smiling and bouncing up and down as though dancing.)

Grandfather: “What have you done to that child?”

Dad: “Something amazing.”

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