Category: Grandparents

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That Same Old (Fashioned) Argument Again

| Norway | Grandparents, Parents & Guardians

(My name, though popular in some countries, is very unusual and old-fashioned here, and people have a tendency to pronounce and even spell it wrong. My mum is telling me the story of how I got my name. Note: I have two older brothers, who’ve both been born by this point.)

Grandma: *to my mum* “You know, all my daughters say I have such a pretty name, but none of you have had the decency to name your daughter after me!”

Mum: *just trying to calm her* “No need to make a fuss. I’ll name my daughter after you.”

Grandma: *in a huff* “Yeah, you can say that. You’re not having more kids!”

(My parents had settled on having two kids, but lo and behold, Mum got pregnant again. She really didn’t want to name me after Grandma, but being the stubborn woman she was, Grandma did not let it go.)

Mum: “I can’t name a little baby [Name]. It’s so old-fashioned and unusual. It wouldn’t be fair to a little girl.”

Grandma: “Well, you promised. And for your information, that little girl will actually be an adult for most of her life!”

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The Birthday Gift Of Knowledge

| Pendleton, SC, USA | Grandparents, Parents & Guardians, Popular

(Overheard on the phone:)

Mom: “Well, Dad, I really just called to say Happy Birthday to Mom… Yes… Yes, it’s her birthday.” *to me* “Well, I just saved your grandpa’s bacon!”

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Mowing Through All The Options

| TX, USA | Grandparents, Popular

(About six months before this starts, my granny had a heart attack. I go over to her house and find her sitting on a pillow in the yard with a pair of scissors.)

Me: “Granny, what are you doing?”

Granny: “The doctor said I wasn’t allowed to mow my grass anymore, so I’m cutting it.”

Me: “You have about an acre of land. Are you going to cut the whole thing with scissors?”

Granny: “Yes.”

(About a week later I see her with a weed eater.)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Granny: “Cutting the grass with scissors took too long, so I’m weed eating it.”

Me: “Isn’t that more tiring than mowing it?”

Granny: “Yes, but the doctor said I couldn’t mow anymore.”

Me: “Okay…”

(About two months later, I see her mowing with her push mower.)

Me: “I thought you weren’t supposed to mow anymore?”

Granny: “I’m not, but I burned out the motor on the weed eater. I tried borrowing your mom’s, but I burned out that one, too. So I decided I would just mow if I want to. What the doctor doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

(She mowed her yard and mine for ten more years before her arthritis got too bad. And she hasn’t had any other trouble with her heart.)

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GPS = Grandma Printing System

| Boone, NC, USA | Grandparents

(I’ve driven up to the mountains with my cousin, to meet up with our grandma and go on a day trip. We’ve planned where to go, and meet up for lunch, then get in Grandma’s car to drive out to Linville Cavern.)

Grandma: *to me* “Here, I printed out the directions. You can be my navigator.”

Me: *after looking at the papers* “Grandma, this doesn’t have instructions. It’s just the page where you click on which route you want to take.”

(Thankfully, the papers had the address and my grandma had a GPS!)

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Grandma Is Best Left Alone

| USA | Grandparents, Popular

(I am four. My mom leaves me with my father’s mom while she and my dad go to work. Grandma is very superstitious. My mom notices after a while that I will fuss and not want to go, but figures I am just being a brat. One day, she comes to pick me up.)

Mom: “How was she? Was she a good girl?”

Grandma: “Oh, yes, she behaved herself, though a bit stubborn. I must say, you’ve got to stop letting her use her left hand!”

Mom: *confused* “What? Yes, she is left-handed.”

Grandma: “That’s evil! Left-handers are cursed by the devil! Everyone knows this. They’ll never function properly. I tried to teach her to use her right hand instead, but she wouldn’t! No matter how hard I spanked her.”

Mom: *jaw drops, eyes bug out* “What?! You spanked her? For that?!”

Grandma: “Left-handers are EVIL! They need the demons to be beat out!”

(Horrified that I was punished for something I couldn’t control, my mom ran and told my dad. Dad spoke to his mom, who still didn’t understand why Mom was disagreeing with her superstition. Mom found another babysitter and has hated Grandma ever since.)

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