Category: Grandchildren

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A Meal You Can Woof Down

| Prague, Czech Republic | Grandchildren, Pets & Animals

(My eight-year-old granddaughter is great animal lover and also smart for her age. One evening she plays with her pets: one dog and one cat.)

Granddaughter: *matter-of-factly* “You know, you two, you should be really glad you live here! If you lived in China, you’d be EATEN!”

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Black Friday Of The Dead

| Waverly, OH, USA | Grandchildren

(My grandson and I run out for a few food items. Unfortunately, people are already lining up for the Black Friday sales. We duck barriers and thread through crowds, feeling like salmon swimming upstream. I mutter:)

Me: “It’s like the zombie apocalypse.”

Grandson: *in a raspy voice* “Saaalesssssssss!”

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Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On

| Anaheim, CA, USA | Grandchildren

(My mom and grandma surprised us with a trip to Disneyland, and we got back a little while ago. My little brother has been quite a brat lately, and earlier he rolled off the bed and “hurt” his leg, even though he rolled down very slowly.)

Brother: “Mommy, my knee hurts!”

Mom: “I know, honey, but you’ll be okay.”

Grandma: “He didn’t really hurt himself, [Mom]; he’s just pretending like last time.”

(When she says last time she is referring to the last time he “hurt” himself. He pretended to not be able to move his leg so we would think it was broken, but he barely bruised it.)

Brother: “I’m not pretending!”

(By this time he was screaming, and my grandma told him to stop or we would get kicked out.)

Brother: “I’M NOT PRETENDING!”

Mom: “I have to go to the bathroom; I’ll deal with him when I get out.”

(As mom leaves, my brother sticks his tongue out and proceeds to hop on his “hurt” leg all over the room, and back in bed when he hears the door open. He blinks some tears out of his eyes and puts a pillow under his knee.)

Grandma: “[Mom], he was just hopping all over the room on his hurt leg.”

Brother: *screaming* “NO, I WASN’T! STOP LYING!”

(What my brother didn’t know was that when he was hopping around I turned in my phone camera and recorded him. I shove my phone in my mom’s hands and play the video. She begins frowning, and glares at my brother.)

Mom: “You, young man, are grounded for two weeks for faking an injury and trying to make your grandma look like a liar, and are not allowed to watch the fireworks tonight.”

(My brother got quite red in the face and lay under the comforters, and I chuckled very quietly.)

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It Runs In The Family

| OH, USA | Grandchildren

(I’ve been coaching my grandsons on a good comeback to something family members frequently tell them. Finally, they get it memorized and this happens:)

Husband: *reacting to something the boys had just done* “You’re so weird!”

Older Boy: *leans nonchalantly next to his grandfather and asks* “You know why that is?”

Husband: “Why?”

Both Boys: *yelling* “Genetics!”

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Brother From Another

| OH, USA | Grandchildren

(One grandson is talking about a friend’s brothers.)

Younger Grandson: “Brothers are stupid.”

Me: *grinning and turning around to say* “You know you’re a brother; right?”

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