Category: Grandchildren

Learnt Something At School But Can’t Put Your Finger On It

| USA | Grandchildren

(As a child, we visited my grandparents every few months and it was customary to make videos. My last grandparent recently passed away and we found the tapes in his belongings. I’m female. I was talking about school at six years old.)

Grandfather: “What did you learn?”

Me: “Math! 1+1=2.”

Grandfather: “What else?”

Me: “Nothing.”

Grandmother: “How about your friends?”

Me: “Ooh. A boy taught me something!”

(Holds up middle finger.)

Me: “He said it means we’re friends.”

(The video becomes very shaky and audio is unclear. Then blank.)

Tram-Poo-line

| USA | Grandchildren, Grandparents, Holidays

(My family goes to my grandmother’s house to open even more Christmas presents. My grandparents have gotten us a trampoline. They are trying to get us to think that Santa has made a last minute delivery outside, so that way we can go outside and see our new trampoline.)

Grandma: “Hey, kids! I hear something!”

Me: “What is it?!”

Grandma: “Shhh! Listen!”

(Silence.)

Brother: “Sorry, I pooted…”

The Gramp Of Approval

| Bangor, ME, USA | Grandchildren

(My daughter was born at 26 weeks, as a result, at least 2-3 times a year we are back up in Bangor for appointments. My father has offered to take us to the clinic for my daughter’s hearing test. It’s important to note that we have already gone, and last time it was my husband, her father, who went with us, and we had the same nurse as this time, who held a conversation with my husband. We have finished and my daughter passed. While talking about how advanced she is for a preemie at the age of two, we walk out to the waiting room where my father sits, and the nurse comes out with this gem.)

Me: “Come on, Bugaboo! Time to put your jacket on!”

Daughter: *squeals and runs to her grampy* “No! Grampy!”

Dad: *laughs and picks her up* “She said ‘no.'”

Nurse: *laughing* “Are you the father?”

Dad: “…”

Daughter: “NO.”

Dad: “I’m GRAMPY.”

Nurse: “Take that as a compliment.”

Dad: “I will.”

(I was laughing so hard that I wound up sitting down. The nurse was embarrassed but dad took it all in good fun. It really did make our ride home a bit better.)

A Meal You Can Woof Down

| Prague, Czech Republic | Grandchildren, Pets & Animals

(My eight-year-old granddaughter is great animal lover and also smart for her age. One evening she plays with her pets: one dog and one cat.)

Granddaughter: *matter-of-factly* “You know, you two, you should be really glad you live here! If you lived in China, you’d be EATEN!”

Black Friday Of The Dead

| Waverly, OH, USA | Grandchildren

(My grandson and I run out for a few food items. Unfortunately, people are already lining up for the Black Friday sales. We duck barriers and thread through crowds, feeling like salmon swimming upstream. I mutter:)

Me: “It’s like the zombie apocalypse.”

Grandson: *in a raspy voice* “Saaalesssssssss!”

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