Category: Friends

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Mom Pierces Your Self-Confidence

| UK | Friends, Parents & Guardians

(When I was 12 I discovered fake piercings. Being that my not-so-nice mother didn’t want me to so much as get my ears pierced until I was 21, I got excited and bought some. I went home with one on each ear, one on my nose and one on my bottom lip.)

Me: “Mum, I found fake piercings at [Shop]! How cool do I look now? And they don’t leave any holes!”

Mum: *to me* “You look so ugly!” *to Neighbor* “Doesn’t she look so ugly?”

Me: *hurt* “But I look like [Favourite Singer] now!”

Neighbor: “I think she looks like a rock star. Wouldn’t you agree, [Mum]?”

Mum: “No! She looks disgusting! You look horrible, [My Name]! No child of mine is going to look like that!”

(She then rips the fake piercings off my face, cutting my nose and left ear in the process.)

Mum: “You’re never getting any piercings, you hear me?!”

(Neighbor walks back inside.)

Mum: “You’re lucky that’s all I did. If [Neighbor] hadn’t been around you’d have something to really cry about.”

(I walk away to my friend’s house and relate this to her, shaken and upset.)

Friend: “What a b****. I thought you looked awesome!”

Me: “I don’t understand why she was so mad; they aren’t real!”

(Two weeks later my dad took me out to get my ears pierced for real, even though I refused to tell anyone about it until they’d healed and I could take them out when I was at home. I’m now 18, away from her, and have my left ear stretched, bright blue hair, and a nose and a tongue piercing. I get compliments on the regular. F*** you, Mum.)

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Doesn’t Take A Surgeon To Work Out

| USA | Friends, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

(I read about a psychology research on gender bias which used the riddle about a father and son being in a car crash; the father dies and the son goes to the operating room. But the surgeon says “I can’t operate – that’s my son!” The answer is that the surgeon is the mother. However not many got this. I asked this question to a group of friends, all of them are on the LGBT spectrum. 1/16 guessed mother. 11/16 guessed gay fathers. 2/16 guessed both. 2/16 only gave other answers. Here are some gems.)

Friend #1: “Are you sure it was the father who died? It must have been the mother who died but dressed as a man.” *guessed gay fathers later but couldn’t guess mother*

Friend #2: “One parent must have been FTM and the son was born before the sex change.” *guessed gay fathers later but couldn’t guess mother*

Friend #3: “The father who died wasn’t the real father. His wife cheated on him and the surgeon is the real father.” *only gave this answer*

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Your Impression Of China Is Cartoonish

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Friends

(I and a friend are sitting around, watching a popular kids cartoon about a girl and her friends learning how to solve issues. Please note that the show is taking place in China.)

Me: “Wow, I wonder why the ants are so large? They’re probably as big as a tarantula! ”

Friend: “It’s probably because it’s in China.”

Me: “I love how your first thought is because it’s Chinese, and not because it’s a cartoon.”

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H2-Whoa!

| USA | Friends, Popular, Siblings

(My sister and I are walking home from the store. As we’re walking, a car drives by and throws a cup of liquid at us. Since I’m closest to the street, I’m the only one who gets hit, and I freeze in confusion and fear.)

Sister: “What happened? Are you okay?”

Me: “Those guys just threw water on me! At least, I hope it’s water!”

Sister: *immediately livid* “They’re lucky they were in a car, or I would have kicked their a**es!”

Me: *near tears* “This is worse than being honked at.”

Sister: “Let’s just get home and you can change. Hopefully it was only water.”

(I was still upset when I got home and showered because I couldn’t be sure what they’d thrown on me. Come to find out, it was a couple of my sister’s friends who thought they were being funny. My sister followed through and kicked their a**es.)

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Taken Steps To Ensure Understanding

, | QLD, Australia | Friends, Siblings

(My brother and his friend have to go to a sporting event in another town a few hours away from home. They drive up fairly late at night, and don’t see anyone until the next morning. In their second- or third-floor room, their toaster catches fire, so my brother runs outside and throws it off the balcony. While he’s out there, he sees the father of one of the boys who does the sport with my brother, who is a family friend.)

Family Friend: “Hey, how did you get up here?”

Brother: “Oh… there’s stairs… like in the building.”

Family Friend: “…I meant to [Town]. I understand that you would have stairs.”

(My brother proceeded to explain how they drove up late at night – and the story is now a family favourite)

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