Category: Friends

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That Joke Tanked

| USA | Friends, Popular, Siblings

(My sister and her friend are planning to stop by during a holiday road trip. My garter snake dies a couple of days before they arrive and I text my sister the news. Evidently, she didn’t pass it on to her buddy.)

Friend: “Hey, [My Name], why isn’t there anything in this tank?”

Sister: “OH, S***!” *runs from the room*

(Her friend, having not been informed of what was even in there in the first place, started freaking out and actually ran two blocks before she thought to come back and ask.)

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Going Through A Spell Of Using Bad Words

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Friends, Grandparents

(My best friend and I are both six years old and have just seen the first Harry Potter movie. He lives with his grandmother, who decides to take us to the park. This playground has a set of low-tech walkie talkies/cup phones where you can speak into one speaker and whoever is on the other speaker at the other side of the park can hear you and speak back. This conversation happens when I’m at one end and my friend and his grandma are at the other.)

Friend: “Hello.”

Me: “Hello, how are you?”

Friend: “Good. How are you?”

Me: “I’m fine.” *notices him waving his arms around* “What are you doing?”

Friend: “I’m casting spells.”

Me: *gibberish*

Friend: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m cursing!”

(Silence.)

Friend: “My grandma says that means you’re saying bad words.”

Me: “It is bad. You’re cursed now.”

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The Butt Of The Family Joke

| Whitby, England, UK | Friends, Parents & Guardians, Popular

(I’m female and on holiday with an old friend (male), plus his mother, sister, her daughter, and the daughter’s baby. I’ve been on holiday with my friend and his mum before, but it’s the first time I’ve ever met his sister and niece. Happily, we get on well. The previous day, his mum tripped and fell on a hard floor, fortunately only bruising herself. My bedroom was next to hers and the following morning, she came in, hitched up her nightie, and asked me to apply a dressing to her hip, which I did. That evening, I’m playing a game with my friend and his sister.)

Me: “Oh, by the way, I’m definitely family now. This morning I stuck a plaster on your mum’s arse.”

(They both laughed and agreed with me.)

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