#1. “So, when are you getting married?”
Older relatives came from a generation where they were expected to marry young and have kids, so you can partly understand why they would ask this… once. When they repeat the question at every family gathering you have total freedom to have some fun with the answers, from “I am currently in a polyamorous relationship with a hive of like-minded beings” to “Oh, I got married last month to this wonderful person I met on vacation and we’re just waiting for the visa…”
Being part of a family can have it’s challenges, but being a part of the stock-photo family puts yours into perspective.
For one, the kids stick to you… always.
Like… all the time.
Quite frankly, it’s ridiculous.
You can try to throw them away:
But they always find their way back:
The grandparents are no help; they just stare off into the fourth wall and laugh like a pair of geriatric Deadpools.
And the pets can’t help either, because they have the same problem.
At least the little tykes have a good view of the sunset.
Which is good, because in Stock Photo Family world, it’s always sunset.
Seriously, it’s like the God of this universe is Michael Bay.
It is a well-known problem among Stock-Photo families that you will suffer from handholditis.
This is a tragic condition where all family members are surgically attached by the hands.
It’s a very common problem, with some cases more extreme than others.
And some so extreme it begins to resemble the disturbing result of a Star Trek transporter accident:
Picture a more adorable yet still as inconvenient version of The Human Centipede.
You can try to jump free, but you will fail.
At least you’re always smiling!
Like you’re in a perpetual dentist ad.
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