Category: Children

Making A Sharp Point

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

(I overhear a mother and young daughter in a store.)

Daughter: “I want to go to [grocery store] and get some mechanical pencils!”

Mother: “No. We’re not going there for pencils.”

Daughter: “What? Why not?!”

Mother: “They’re too expensive! I’d have to give them my arm!”

Daughter: “But, you’d still have one left over!”

Totally Dory-ble

| Bay Area, CA, USA | Children, Pets & Animals, Sons & Daughters

(I am in the fish department of a pet store. A father and son are browsing the wall of fish. They stop at a tank full of orange and black striped fish. The father points some out.)

Father: “Look, son. It’s Nemo!”

Son: *around 5 years old* “No, dad. That’s a clown fish.”

Father: *shuts up*

The Farce Is Strong In This One

| OK, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

(I am a customer shopping through DVD sales on Black Friday. A young boy runs up to look as well.)

Boy: “Look, dad! Star Wars!”

(The boy picks up the movie and looks closer. It is Episode 2, with Hayden Christensen and Natalie Portman on the cover.)

Boy: “Wait. This isn’t the real Star Wars. What is this? Hey, dad, why are they pretending to be Star Wars?”

This Kid Wasn’t Born Yesterday

| South Bend, IN, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

(I am checking in my young son).

Front desk: “And what is your son’s date of birth?”

(I want my son to say it so he can learn.)

Son: “The second…”

Front desk: “Of what month?”

Son: *proudly* “October!”

Front desk: “Do you know what year, hun?”

Son: *thinks* “Every year!”

Kids Love Kisses, Cuddles, And Face-Huggers

| Melbourne, Australia | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

(I work in a specialty bookstore. We have a number of plush toys from various science-fiction series around the store. A man walks in with his 3-4 year old daughter. He leaves her by the counter while he looks at books. She proceeds to ask what all the toys in the store are. She points at the Xenomorph by the register.)

Little girl: “What’s that?”

Me: “It’s a Xenomorph. They’re from the movie Aliens.”

Little girl: “They pop from your tummy!”

Me: “Chest, actua–wait, how do you know that?!”