Category: Children

Trying To Silence The Little Words Of God

| San Gabriel, CA, USA | Children

It is the 1960s and I am quite young.

In Sunday School we have been learning about the importance of missionaries. I am riding with my mom as she is doing errands on a hot summer’s afternoon. The windows are down.

We pull up to a stop light and the car next to us is driven by an African-American gentleman. I lean out the window and shout, “Look, Mom, there’s a India Indian what doesn’t know God!”

He flashed my mom a huge grin and she laid rubber getting away as quickly as she could.

Love Is Spoken In Many Ways

| UT, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

(It’s bedtime, and I’m trying to get my little boy to sleep. My husband is sick, so I’ve got our newborn with me as well. The baby is starting to get fussy, which is making it hard for my son to sleep.)

Me: “It’s okay, [Baby]. You’re okay.”

Son: “You’re okay, baby girl. You’re okay!”

Me: “Thanks, buddy, but I want you to focus on you going to sleep. I’ll get [Baby] calmed down.”

Son: *whispers something unintelligible*

Me: “I love you, sweetheart.”

Son: *whispering grumpily* “I didn’t say that!”

Me: “I know. I did, though.”

Son: *after a pause* “I love you, too, Mom.”

Flights Of Fancy

| Australia | Children, Parents & Guardians

(This happened when I was about two years old and about to go on a long flight with my mum. It was her first time travelling alone with me and I was at the stage when I often threw tantrums so she was worried.)

Mum: “If you are noisy on the plane, they will ask you to leave.”

Me: “In the air?”

Mum: “Yes.”

(I don’t blame her for saying it because I’m sure every parent says silly/bad things and usually nothing comes of it. But, although I forget the conversation itself, I remember and believe what she told me, probably because my family travels a lot, and I think about it every time we fly. I behave very well on flights. Eventually I decide that the plane must actually land at the nearest airport before the crew orders the passenger to leave so that the passenger doesn’t die. Since I don’t understand the cost and other issues with this, it seems no different from when my teachers send students out of the classroom as soon as they start misbehaving. I never doubt it until I am seven and witness a young child throwing a loud tantrum on a plane.)

Me: “Why don’t they make him leave the plane?”

Mum: “They can’t do that in the middle of a flight!”

Me: “I mean why can’t they land somewhere and leave him there with his parents? That’s how it works, right?”

(Then my mum remembered her desperate attempt to keep me quiet when I was a toddler and she explained everything.)

They’re Not Indoor Children

| UT, USA | Children

(I’m outside with my kids. A neighbor is out walking with some of her kids, and she stops to chat. We talk for a few minutes, and then she laughs and looks down the street toward her house.)

Neighbor: “I’m going to have to put Missing Child signs out with my kid’s pictures on them so people know where to send my kids when they see them outside.”

(Confused, I look down the street. I see her three-year-old daughter riding her bike down the street, unaccompanied.)

Neighbor: *laughing* “That kid is always sneaking out of the house. I don’t know what to do with her!”

(And before people jump to conclusions, she is a good mom. I believe the three-year-old snuck out when her dad wasn’t looking, saw that Mom was down the street, and decided to come join her. She wasn’t wearing shoes, but she was wearing her helmet!)

The Birds And The Bees For Dummies

| USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

(I have just come home from kindergarten and am telling my mother about a word I had seen scribbled on the restroom stall.)

Me: “Mama, mama! Someone wrote the D-word on the bathroom wall!”

(Cue a very calm discussion about the anatomy of men and women, including details on where babies come from. After the explanation ends, mom asks:)

Mom: “Now, [My Name], what word did you see on the bathroom wall?”

Me: “I saw the word DUMMY!”

(My mom turned beet red. She had just given her five-year-old her first lesson on the birds and the bees. Up until she passed away, she got a good laugh and always said it made the other “sex” talks way easier.)