Category: Children

I Get Nowhere

| Austria | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Children, Nephews & Nieces

Sister: “So, [My Boyfriend], what do you earn at your new job?”

Boyfriend: “I get—”

Nephew: “MAMA!”

Boyfriend: “I get—”

Nephew: *drops something*

Boyfriend: “I get—”

Nephew: *slips and falls*

Boyfriend: “I get—”

Nephew: “There’s a ghost!” *runs out of the room*

Me: “Quick, while he’s out of the room!”

Boyfriend: “I get—”

Nephew: *running through the door* “Hooo-hooo!”

Shedding Some Light On The Situation

| Denmark | Children, Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners

(My husband and I are on the bottom floor of our four-story house, after the kids are in bed, and we hear our four-year-old shouting from the third floor, where the bedrooms are. My husband heads up and comes down a few minutes later.)

Me: “Everything okay?”

Husband: “Yeah, she had to go to the bathroom but it was too dark in her room.”

Me: “She was standing in the hallway, outside her room, wasn’t she?”

Husband: “Yup.”

Your Sister Has A Mouth On Her

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Children, Siblings

(It’s the early 2000s, and I have finally convinced my mom to upgrade our family’s Internet connection from dial-up to DSL. It enables me to use voice chat features on some IM programs to talk with friends online. One day, I have the microphone out on the desk and I’m talking to a friend and playing games, when my little sister runs up out of nowhere.)

Four-Year-Old Sister: *loudly* “LOOK INSIDE MY MOUTH!” *puts mouth over the microphone*

Me: “What are you doing?! That’s not a camera!”

Four-Year-Old Sister: “Oh.”

Run So Fast You’re Panting

| Chicago, IL, USA | Children, Non-Dialogue, Sons & Daughters

My son, husband, and I are traveling home after visiting family. Thanks to a delay in our first flight we have 15 minutes to get from one part of the airport to another, which means that we have to run with the hopes of catching it. This also means that my husband has one of my son’s hands, and I have the other. Keep in mind that my son is only four years old.

We are running along when we both notice the four-year-old is suddenly not moving as fast and is yelling about his pants. Turning to look, we both burst out laughing as we realize his pants have managed to fall down to his ankles. The poor little guy is waddling in an attempt to keep up with us even though his pants have fallen down.

Everybody around us just burst out laughing and now I have yet another story I can embarrass him with when he is older. Thankfully it didn’t happen again. We did miss our flight and had to wait another hour and a half in order to catch our next one. The lesson is to make sure the child has better fitting pants next time we have to make a mad dash through the airport.

Pray She Doesn’t See A ‘Spider-Bird’

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Children, Nephews & Nieces, Pets & Animals

(Lately my little niece has taken to calling animals by what they’re shaped like. She was playing outside one day before running in and saying this…)

Niece: “Auntie! Auntie! I just saw a helicopter-fly!”

(Needless to say, everyone burst out laughing. She still hasn’t gotten used to the fact that dragonflies have been around longer than helicopters.)