Category: Boyfriends & Girlfriends

Not Very Thankful For Your Birthdate

| Weston, MA, USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Parents & Guardians, Popular

(My birthday is on November 26. Somehow, this is a date that confuses people. My family wished me a happy 16th on November 29. One year later, they remembered on November 28. For my 18th, I remind them. I point out that my birthday is on Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving, no one mentions it. I help make dinner. I eat dinner. Then dad speaks up:)

Dad: “I’m glad we’re able to be together today. We have something important for after dinner…”

(I mentally rejoice that he was playing a trick on me.)

Dad: “Get work clothes on! We might not have another good day to rake leaves!”

(I give up on any hope of them remembering. An hour later, my sister calls from Rhode Island.)

Sister: “Hey, is [My Name] there? I wanted to wish her happy 18th!”

(They stuck a candle in pumpkin pie to celebrate. It wasn’t until my 22nd birthday that they got the date right again.)

Red-Hot Romance

| UT, USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Siblings

(I am dating a boy with rust-colored hair. He is the youngest in his family, which otherwise consists entirely of people with dark brown hair, and the next youngest sibling is twenty years older than him.)

Me: “You’re a natural redhead?”

Boyfriend: “Yes!”

Me: “But everyone else in your family is dark-haired… That is strange.”

Boyfriend: “Well, my parents waited twenty years after my brother to have me, so they got a little rusty at it.”

Blood Is Thick But Your Skin Is Thicker

| UK | Boyfriends & Girlfriends

(My boyfriend’s family is visiting; we don’t have much in common with them and get frustrated by their narrow minded views. Just after they leave:)

Me: “I’m pleased that’s over.”

Boyfriend: “You know, the only reason blood is thicker than water is because there’s s*** in it.”

Jumping To Conclusions

| DE, USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Siblings

(A friend and I are visiting my sister who lives in another state. It’s late at night and she just went upstairs with her live-in boyfriend when my friend and I hear the bed squeaking right above us.)

Friend: “Oh, god, they seriously aren’t…?”

Me: “Oh, god, I think they are…”

(This continues for about fifteen minutes.)

Me: “Great, I have to go up there. I need to use the bathroom.”

Friend: “Good luck. It’s right next to their room!”

(As I sneak upstairs as quietly as possible, I run into my sister’s boyfriend who had just walked out of the bathroom. I can still hear the squeaking of the bed in their room.)

Me: “Wait, how long have you been in there?”

Sister’s Boyfriend: “About fifteen minutes or so. I was taking a shower. Why?”

Me: “Well, [Friend] and I heard the bed squeaking and thought…”

Sister’s Boyfriend: *laughing* “Oh, yeah. Are you aware your sister is the only 24-year-old who still jumps on the bed?”

When Texts Have Very Sharp Timing

| London, England, UK | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Parents & Guardians

(I moved into a flat-share due to fighting with my boyfriend, but we are attempting to resolve the issues. After I move out he buys a new bread knife. One morning I find these two messages on my phone:)

Dad: “Haven’t heard from you in a while. Hope neither of you are in prison for murder.”

Boyfriend: “I love this knife!”

Saved By The Order Of The Phoenix

| Kettering, England, UK | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Parents & Guardians

(I am 12. I have been told not to get up so early on weekends to watch TV since the stairs make noise and my mother needs to sleep in after long hours. I’m sneaking downstairs with a copy of the newest Harry Potter book in hand and come nose to gut with Mum’s then-boyfriend.)

Boyfriend: “Morning.”

Me *feeling busted* “Erm… morning, [Boyfriend].”

Boyfriend: “Little early to be up, aren’t you?”

Me: “I thought I heard a burglar.”

(Later, when discussing it right in front of me.)

Boyfriend: “And then he said ‘I thought I heard a burglar.'”

Mum: “Oh, really?” *glaring at me*

Boyfriend: “In his defence, he was carrying Order Of The Phoenix. Clearly he was planning to fight the burglars off.”