Category: Aunts & Uncles

Responding With Comic Timing

| TN, USA | Aunts & Uncles, Boyfriends & Girlfriends

(I am working on a comic and am currently writing out the main plot line and dialogue. I have hit a block and am starting to get frustrated. My boyfriend is sitting at the desk flipping through an auto repair book.)

Me: “Ugh!”

Boyfriend: “What’s the matter?”

Me: “I can’t come up with any good names for these characters. Can you think of a typical douchebag name and a typical b**** name?”

Boyfriend: “Who are they for?”

Me: “[Main character]’s snooty aunt and uncle.”

Boyfriend: *without thinking* “[Male name], [Female name].”

Me: “Wow. That was quick.”

(I start to write the names down on the corner of my page.)

Me: “Wait… aren’t those your aunt’s and uncle’s names?”

Boyfriend: *without looking up* “Yup.”

(I did end up using those names.)

The Curse Of The Cute Irish

| Boston, MA, USA | Aunts & Uncles

(After a trip three years ago my aunt is obsessed with Ireland. She prepares Irish dishes, buys Irish products, and researches Irish history. At the time this story takes place we are all going to Ireland as a family (her second trip) and are waiting at the gate to board our flight when she shakes my shoulder.)

Aunt: “[My Name]! Look!”

(She’s pointing at an Irish family who are also about to get on our flight. The mother has bought her two very cute children some small toys and books from the gift shop and the children are thrilled.)

Me: “Aww, that’s sweet.”

Aunt: “Oh, my gosh, they’re the cutest! Look at them reading their books so quietly. Those Irish children are so well-behaved. They’re picture-perfect!”

(I ignore her comment and focus on getting my luggage together. When we line up to board the Irish family is still where they are because their seats haven’t been called yet and my aunt appears to be taking selfies. One hour later, while we’re in the air…)

Aunt: “[My Name], look at my photos.”

(To my horror, it’s a candid photo of the Irish children.)

Me: “[Aunt], did you ask their mom?”

Aunt: “Nope! I just pretended I was taking a selfie!”

Me: “Delete it! How would you feel if someone took a picture of your kids without your permission.”

Aunt: “But they’re so cute! And Irish!”

(She didn’t delete it, and now we have a creep shot of some random toddlers in our scrapbook.)

Her Care For You Is Not The Bee’s Knees

| UK | Aunts & Uncles, Parents & Guardians

(I live with my very ill mum, and have always done so. Recently my aunt and uncle (her sister and brother-in-law) have been coming over to help sort out the garden. It’s been a week and there are a few bits left over.)

Aunt: “Is there anything else you need done?”

Mum: *thoughtfully* “Well… I should probably remove the lavender.”

Aunt: “Why remove it? I can just cut it back for you.”

Mum: “Yeah, but [My Name] is allergic.”

Aunt: “Why do you have it, then?!”

Mum: “The bees like it.”

(Added bonus: the bushes were planted after we found out I was allergic…)

Getting That Christmas Dar-Feeling

| Kitchener, ON, Canada | Aunts & Uncles, Holidays, Parents & Guardians

(I am having Christmas dinner with my mom’s side of the family and talking with my uncle who, along with my dad, likes to tease me. My name is Jessy.)

Uncle: “What kind of tea are you drinking?”

Me: “Christmas Morning.”

Dad: “It’s Christmas Evening. That’s not allowed.”

Me: “Too late.”

Uncle: “Would you like it if a tea was named after you?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Uncle: “Good. Name that one. It’s not Christmas morning; so it’s nameless.”

Me: “So it’s Jessy tea?”

Uncle: “Or Jessy’s Delight or something.”

Dad: “DarJessy!”

Christmas Lasts Until Dawn

| PA, USA | Aunts & Uncles, Cousins, Parents & Guardians

(We’re opening some Christmas gifts that just arrived in the mail from our grandmother. I’m 25 and my youngest cousin is only seven.)

Mom: “What did you girls get?”

Me: “Uh… I got this…”

(I hold up ‘Splatoon.’ I don’t consider it a bad game, but I don’t own a Wii U and thus can’t play it, hence my disappointment.)

Mom: “Oh. Well, she tried, so call and thank her anyway, I guess.” *to cousin* “What did you get?”

Cousin: *excitedly* “I got Until Dawn!”

Aunt: “WHAT?!”

(We had to take it from my screaming cousin and called my grandmother. Thankfully she’s aware of video game ratings and age appropriateness. Unfortunately she mixed up our gifts and didn’t realize it because they both had a similar shape, which is how she accidentally gave a seven year old a graphic video game.)

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