A Monstrous Rent Bill

| Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I’m about 5 years old, and have been having terrible nightmares. I wake up in the middle of the night, screaming.)
Mom: *runs in* “What’s wrong, cookie?”
Me: “The ghosts are gonna get me.”
(My mom runs out of the room, and comes back with a squirt bottle with ‘Monster Juice’ written on the side. She hands it to me.)
Mom: “Here. Just shoot the ghosts and monsters, and remember the most important thing.”
Me: *sniffling* “What?”
Mom: *states very matter-of-fact-ly* “If it don’t pay rent, it don’t live here!”
(Since then, I’ve never been afraid of ghosts or monsters.)

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