(My family has gone on vacation to Alaska. Even though we’re a family, we are very different people, with very different interests; this can cause friction when we do things together.)

Mother: “I don’t understand why we don’t ever enjoy going on trips as a family! We don’t ever seem to have any fun!”

Me: “Sure we do, mom; just not all at the same time!”

(We’re driving around Achill Island, off the coast of Mayo in Ireland, on a family holiday. People start coming out of Mass from a local church.)

Dad: “Look, kids! Those are island people. Don’t they look different?”

(My brother, mother and I are on vacation. We rent a small cabin for the weekend, so all our beds are in one room. At night we started discussing falling asleep.)

Mom: “I can only ever fall asleep if I’m on my right side.”

Me: “That’s weird. I can only ever fall asleep if I’m on my left side.”

Brother: “Well, it doesn’t matter to me! I’m ambi-bed-sterous!”

Related:
Meet The Acceptance Family
Meet The Cannibal Family

(My mom, me, and some friends are on holiday in Brittany. We rent a little house which we had lived in the previous year. My mom decides we should walk to the beach the first day and chooses the direct path. We have to climb a fence, wade through pretty thick and smelly mud and cross a cow paddock on the way. Our dog is enjoying herself immensely, but she is the only one.)

Mom: “I don’t understand. This must be the way to the beach. We took the same path last year.”

Me: “I know, Mom. It was the wrong path then, too…”

(We’re driving to the beach on a weekend vacation. It’s myself, my mom and step-dad, my 15-year-old brother and my 8-year-old step brother. One of my step-brother’s friends has moved to Africa, and we are discussing it.)

Mom: “So, which country in Africa did your friend move to?”

Step-brother: *completely serious* “I don’t know, whatever country Africa is in.”

(He is really confused when everyone starts cracking up.)

Mom: “I can see in your future, you winning a beauty pageant.”

Related
Geographically Incontinent, Part 2
Geographically Incontinent (Not Always Right)