Featured Story:

Haven’t Exactly Been Dye-ing To Tell You

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Parents & Guardians

(I have travelled to an anime convention and gone all-out cosplay. It’s been a work in progress for a good eight months, and every member of my family has been involved with different aspects of the costume. I text my father a picture of me in full cosplay.)

Dad: “Looks great. Who’s that?”

Me: “Ha ha.”

Dad: “Is that one of your friends?”

Me: “Seriously? You helped MAKE this costume!”

Dad: “Oh! You look good. The purple hair threw me. I didn’t recognize you with that wig!”

Me: “Is this a bad time to tell you that I dyed my hair?”

Save The Date To Get Tested

| OH, USA | Cousins

(I have just received in the mail a ‘Save The Date’ for my cousin’s wedding. I decide to text him to thank him for having invited me and to confirm that I had received it.)

Me: “Got your STD today. Thanks!”

Cousin: “Huh?”

Me: “You are aware [His Fiancée] is planning your wedding, right?”

Cousin: “Okay… I just lost all my contacts… Don’t know who this is… All I saw was STD from me. Who is this?”

Me: “Oh, whoops! ‘Save The Date.’ This is [My Name], your cousin.”

Cousin: “That was my best laugh in a long time… Thanks!”

Muggling Through The Trivia

| Chicago, IL, USA | Parents & Guardians, Theme Of The Month

(I just started college and I’m in class when I get a text from my dad. Since my grandparents are old and sick, I check it immediately in case there’s something wrong.)

Dad: “What are the ‘wispy creatures’ called in Harry Potter?”

(I facepalm and then I tell him. A few minutes later…)

Me: “Why did you need to know?”

Dad: “Oh, it’s just useless trivia.”

Me: “In regards to Harry Potter, there is no such thing as useless trivia.”

Needs To Employ A Better Morning Routine

| Portland, OR, USA | Parents & Guardians

(My mother is texting me the morning after I was hired for my first job. I’m very into literary roleplaying as a hobby.)

Mom: “How are you, working girl?”

Me: “Waking up.”

Mom: “Did you wake up, realize you’re officially employed, and then smile?”

Me: “No, I woke up, grumped about a role-play, and then fell back asleep for 15 minutes on my floor.”

Mom: “Well. That’s one way to do it, I suppose.”

Worked Her Socks Off

| USA | Parents & Guardians

(I’m at my friend’s house when I receive a text message from my mother.)

Mom: “We were just thinking of you and what an overachiever you were. We just heard on TV that the average number of lost socks a year is seven per person. Clearly, given the number of sock orphans we found when you left, you are in a league of your own.”

Me: “I always knew I was!”

Mom: “Always special.”

Me: “Aw, my mommy says I’m special!”

A Very Late Engagement

| London, England, UK | Parents & Guardians, Spouses & Partners

(My fiancé and I are breaking the news of our engagement to our families. We have just got off the phone with his parents when he receives a text from his mum.)

Fiancé’s Mum: *via text* “Great news. Your brother has just got engaged. Mum.”

Me: *to my fiancé* “Uh, looks like that was meant for your sister.”

Fiancé: *texting back* “Well, I didn’t know I had a brother, so that’s bigger news to me than his engagement.”


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