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    Going Head-First Into Your Innuendo

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Grandparents, Siblings

    (My family is having dinner at a restaurant for Mother’s Day. I’m sitting with my brother and sister opposite our grandpa.)

    Grandpa: *pouring beer* “Oops, too much head.”

    Brother: “Are you practicing your beer-pouring skills so you can be a barman?”

    Grandpa: “No, I don’t think I’ll be able to work a bar with this dismal effort.”

    Me: *muttering* “It’s got more head than a high school football player.”

    Brother & Sister: *laughing so hard they’re crying*

    (My stepdad was laughing too hard to tell us off.)

    Cheating At The Game Of Thrones

    | IN, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My sister and I are avid fans of ‘Game of Thrones’ and are in various stages of reading the books, as well. I’ve finished all of them and she’s almost done with the third book. Our dad has just finished the first book, but doesn’t watch the show. We’re discussing both the books and the show at lunch, and avoiding spoilers is tricky.)

    Dad: “So who’s still alive by book four?”

    Sister: “Well…”

    Dad: “I mean, I know [Character #1] and [Character #2] both die before then, but I was wondering who else does.”

    Sister: “Uh… why?”

    Me: “And how do you know that?”

    Dad: “I saw a news story on my homepage about it when it happened on the show.”

    Sister and Me: “…”

    Dad: “And I saw that [Character #3] died last week. And what’s up with [Character #4]‘s hand?”

    Me: “Everything you just said are probably the biggest spoilers of the entire series so far. Why are you ruining it for yourself?”

    Dad: “I just want to know where the characters end up…”

    Sister and Me: “That’s why you READ THE BOOKS!”

    A Cornell Deaf Knell

    | Roseville, CA, USA | Grandchildren

    (I am eating lunch with my grandparents. They are in their late 80′s and my grandfather is nearly deaf. He is sharing about the time he spent at Cornell University.)

    Me: “I know someone who used to work at Cornell.”

    Grandfather: “Really? What did he do?”

    Me: “He’s a chemist.”

    Grandfather: “He does table tennis!?”

    Me: “No, he’s a chemist!”

    Grandfather: “Okay… What does Dennis do?”

    This Tale Has No Dead End

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Cousins, Top

    (My brother has had an accident. I visit him almost every day, and even make sure I am in the recovery room when he comes out of surgery. My parents are panicking. I hold his hand, speaking to him and getting him to squeeze my hand back in response. I am able to calm my parents once they know he is responding. We didn’t talk about it afterwards. About two months later at my Mum’s birthday dinner one of our cousins comes up to me.)

    Cousin: “Oh, my God. I have so much respect for you after what I heard about you.”

    Me: “Umm, what did you hear?”

    Cousin: “[Brother] told me what you did. I love you so much for what you did.”

    Me: “What I did do?”

    Cousin: *tearing up* “It just makes me cry!”

    Me: “What did I do?”

    Cousin: “[Brother] told me that he thought he was dead after his surgery. He couldn’t see anything or hear anything. Then he heard your voice talking to him. He thought he was DEAD. You called him back and held his hand.”

    (It was so nice to hear that. We tease the bejeezus out of each other but really don’t tell each other how we feel…)

    There Was No One WHO Knew

    | CA, USA | Grandparents

    (We all go to a restaurant for my cousins’ birthday. It looks pretty small before we walk in, but when we walk in this place is HUGE.)

    Grandma: “This place is so big!

    Me: “Yes, it’s much bigger on the inside!” *quiet for a minute* “Dang it. It’s sad when no one gets my references.”


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