(My mom, stepdad, brother, close friend, and I are at a popular restaurant. I am a transgendered female to male, and my friend is also male. This makes my mom the only woman at the table. Mom is not 100% okay with my transition.)

Waitress: “Okay, so are we all ready?”

(We all nod.)

Waitress: “Sweet! Okay, so ladies first!”

(She turns to my mom. My mom looks at me.)

Me: “Well, mom, aren’t you ready to order yet?”

(My mom blushes.)

Mom: “Oh , I guess you meant me!”

(I think that was the first day mom really realized I am not a girl.)

Related:
Simple Genderalisation

(My dad and I are eating dinner. The topic comes up of two incredibly homophobic people we know.)

Dad: “Yeah, I just feel sorry for their son when he comes out.”

Me: “Really? I don’t think that he’s gay. What made you think that?”

Dad: “Well, he’s in the drama club.”

Me: “Dad, I’m in drama club, and I’m not gay.”

Dad: “Are you sure?”

Me: “I have a girlfriend.”

Dad: “So did Elton John!”

(My parents and brother, who is eight years old, are traveling in France and stop for dinner. The waiter is obviously not happy to have a little kid in his restaurant.)

Waiter: “I’m sorry, but we do not have a menu for our younger customers here.”

Brother: “That’s okay. Can I have a small salad and escargot, please?”

(The waiter takes the orders, and brings out the food. At the end, he comes back to the table to clear the plates.)

Waiter: “And how did you like the snails, sir?”

Brother: “I’ve had better.”

(My little sister has just got a happy meal. It comes with a cat toy. When you push a button, an arm on the toy goes up and down from reading a book. She is 10, and I am 14.)

Sister: “Why do they make these toys? It doesn’t do anything anyway.”

Mum: “Well, it is for five-year-olds.”

(I look up, suddenly interested.)

Me: “Ooh, let me see!”

(I take the toy and push the button repeatedly, fixated.)

Mum: “Like I said: It’s for five-year-olds.”

(I’m traveling with my triplet brothers. I get to the hotel restaurant before they do, and they arrive one at a time. Brother #1 sits down and takes a menu from the waitress.)

Brother #1: “Have you ordered yet?”

Me: “No, I just got here. I ordered a pot of tea; that’s all.”

Brother #1: “Oh, excellent. I’ll be right back. I’ve got to wash my hands.”

(He leaves, and Brother #2 arrives, sitting down across the table.)

Waitress: “Hey, weren’t you sitting over here?”

Brother #2: “No, ma’am. But may I have some water?”

(She leaves, confused. When she comes back, all three of them are at the table.)

Waitress: “Oh, my God! There’s three of you! Oh, thank god! I thought I was going crazy. I saw one of you out by the hostess’ desk, and another one coming from the restroom!”