(Victoria’s public transport system has upgraded to RFID cards, and I’m teaching my siblings how to use them on the way home. Note: my 9-year-old brother has a learning disability.)

Me: “Okay, kiddo, you need to hold the card on the scanner till it beeps.”

My 9-year-old Brother: *waves the card in front of the LCD screen*

Me: “No, hon. Hold it on the bottom bit until it beeps.”

My 9-year-old Brother: *puts the card on the scanner, but pulls it off before it can read*

(Suddenly, an agitated stranger behind us yells at us.)

Stranger: “Just get on the bus, you s***! Get your retard to move it!”

(Hearing this, my other brother, who is 10 years old but incredibly bright, speaks up in our defense.)

My 10-year-old Brother: “Hey, mister, he won’t learn if he doesn’t do it for himself. So, how about you shut up and pick on someone your own size?”

My 9-year-old Brother: *scans his card perfectly* “Hey! I did it!” *to the stranger* “Stuff you, old man!”