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    A Pompeiious Request

    | Italy | Parents & Guardians

    (We’re on a holiday visiting Pompeii and decide to walk to the top of the volcano. After half an hour we get to the top and start taking the snapshots. At one point I take the camera to take a picture of my mum, my dad, and my sister.)

    Me: “Okay, everybody huddle together!”

    (They huddle closer.)

    Dad: “Now, make sure you get the volcano in.”

    Me: “Dad… we’re standing on the volcano. I don’t think the volcano is going to be too hard to miss.”

    Die Hard

    | Germany | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (My son and I go for a walk. It’s cold outside and the puddles are frozen. He breaks through the ice and sees the water.)

    Son: “Oh! The water is still alive!”

    Poking A Hole In Politeness

    | Chepstow, Wales, UK | Parents & Guardians, Siblings, Top

    (I am about five years old, and visiting an abbey with my family, including my sister who is about six. There are lots of deep holes in the ground. I see my mum and gran talking and try to jump one of the holes… and fail. Apparently, this is what happens next: My sister wanders over to my mum and gran and waits politely for them to stop talking.)

    Mum: “What is it, [Sister]? Go play with [My Name].”

    Sister: *in a bored tone of voice* “Can’t. [My Name] fell down the hole.”

    Mum: “What?!”

    Sister: “She fell down the hole. Over there.”

    Mum: “What? When?”

    Sister: “A few minutes ago.”

    Mum: *panicking* “Why didn’t you tell us?”

    Sister: “You and Gran were talking. It’s rude to interrupt.”

    (My family has never let me live down falling down the hole. My sister’s only reaction to her delayed response in the story was to say ‘well, it wasn’t as though you were going anywhere.’”)

    That’s A Weight Off Of His Shoulders

    | Cornwall, England, UK | Children, Parents & Guardians

    (My family is on holiday in Cornwall. It is raining but, being British, we decide not to let that bother us. My brother is two and riding on my dad’s shoulders with his umbrella conveniently keeping them both dry. I am seven and I walk alongside them with my own umbrella. We’ve been walking for a long time before my dad freezes and turns in a full circle, panicked.)

    Dad: “[My Name], where’s your brother?”

    Me: “He’s on your shoulders, Dad.”

    (My dad has a moment of realization as my brother starts to laugh.)

    Me: “How did you think you were keeping dry?”

    Double Oh-Vey

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (My eight-year-old son and I are walking down the street. I see a group of Orthodox Jewish men (beards, black suits and broad-brimmed black hats) coming toward us on the other side. My son is watching them intently, and I am hoping that I can answer any questions he might come out with. He looks up at me excitedly.)

    Son: “Look, Mom! Secret agents!”

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