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    I Can’t Has Cheezburgers

    | Shellharbour, NSW, Australia | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (I am about four years old. The local ‘Carols by Candlelight’ is happening in my local area. Many mascots for the companies endorsing the event are walking around including Ronald McDonald. My mum lets my neighbour take me to meet Ronald. I come back crying.)

    Mum: *to our neighbor* “Why is she crying?”

    Neighbour: “I don’t know. She just started crying so I brought her back.”

    Mum: *to me* “Why are you crying?”

    Me: *through tears* “Because Ronald McDonald didn’t give me a cheeseburger!”

    (My mum and the rest of my family now like to bring this up as often as possible, especially over Christmas!)

    A Christmas Pajama Party

    | Portland, OR, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters, Theme Of The Month

    (One of the kids I babysit is at that adorable age of generosity. She and her mother are doing a Christmas charity walk with a Santa at the end.)

    Mother: “So, honey, what are you going to ask Santa for?”

    Daughter: “Pajamas.”

    Mother: “But you already have pajamas.”

    Daughter: “Not for me! For [Brother]; I think he needs pajamas. Daddy, too. Daddy needs pajamas.”

    (Santa was very amused.)

    The Bike Approval Is Falling

    | Wales, UK | Parents & Guardians

    (I’m seven years old and very nervous about bike riding. My dad buys an arm attachment that links my bike to the back of his bike so that I can pedal and feel like I’m riding a bike without the worry that I might fall off. We’ve been going for a long while and it’s going great until I notice that the bolt holding the arm in place is coming loose.)

    Me: *panicked* “Dad! I’m falling!”

    Dad: *confused and not slowing down* “Where?”

    Me: “Off!”

    (The arm came unbolted and I fell to the ground. My dad had to wheel two bikes all the way back home whilst I whined at him. Needless to say, this experience did not make me overly fond of bikes.)

    They’re Deathly Safe

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (My six-year-old son and I are chatting as I walk him to school. For some reason we end up discussing when you should go to a doctor and when you should just take care of yourself.)

    Son: “But if you’re in a bad accident, you should call the ‘prime-medics’ *paramedics*, because then if you die, at least you’ll die safely.”

    Will Be Sitting On The Edge Of That Seat

    | Sweet Home, OR, USA | Cousins, Parents & Guardians

    (My dad, cousin, brother, and I are walking down the street to get our car after sitting all day at the Oregon Jamboree.)

    Dad: *to cousin* “Just stay here with the chairs while I go get the car. Make sure no one steals them.”

    Cousin: “But what if someone steals me?”


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