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    Will Be Sitting On The Edge Of That Seat

    | Sweet Home, OR, USA | Cousins, Parents & Guardians

    (My dad, cousin, brother, and I are walking down the street to get our car after sitting all day at the Oregon Jamboree.)

    Dad: *to cousin* “Just stay here with the chairs while I go get the car. Make sure no one steals them.”

    Cousin: “But what if someone steals me?”

    Never Too Old To Fight For What’s Right

    | NH, USA | Aunts & Uncles, Grandparents, LGTBQ, Top

    (I don’t have a grandfather of my own as they both passed away before I was born. My cousin’s grandfather has come on vacation with us. They call him papaw. I’ve never really called him anything because I’m not sure what to call him as he’s not my grandfather and I’m not exactly sure how he feels about me. I’ve recently come out as gay and have brought my girlfriend with us on the trip. We’re listening to the radio and there’s some controversial story about gay rights being debated about.)

    Papaw: “D*** all these gays! This crap is annoying!”

    Uncle: “Dad!”

    Papaw: “What? This gay rights crap is getting old. I’ll never see anything settled in my lifetime so why should I have to hear about it everywhere I go? I’m sick of it!”

    Me: “Um, my girlfriend and I are sitting right here.”

    Papaw: “You don’t count.”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Papaw: “Because you’re my granddaughter and I’ll always fight for or beside you no matter what we’re fighting for.”

    (He’s since passed away but I couldn’t have asked for a better grandfather.)

    A Pompeiious Request

    | Italy | Parents & Guardians

    (We’re on a holiday visiting Pompeii and decide to walk to the top of the volcano. After half an hour we get to the top and start taking the snapshots. At one point I take the camera to take a picture of my mum, my dad, and my sister.)

    Me: “Okay, everybody huddle together!”

    (They huddle closer.)

    Dad: “Now, make sure you get the volcano in.”

    Me: “Dad… we’re standing on the volcano. I don’t think the volcano is going to be too hard to miss.”

    Die Hard

    | Germany | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (My son and I go for a walk. It’s cold outside and the puddles are frozen. He breaks through the ice and sees the water.)

    Son: “Oh! The water is still alive!”

    Poking A Hole In Politeness

    | Chepstow, Wales, UK | Parents & Guardians, Siblings, Top

    (I am about five years old, and visiting an abbey with my family, including my sister who is about six. There are lots of deep holes in the ground. I see my mum and gran talking and try to jump one of the holes… and fail. Apparently, this is what happens next: My sister wanders over to my mum and gran and waits politely for them to stop talking.)

    Mum: “What is it, [Sister]? Go play with [My Name].”

    Sister: *in a bored tone of voice* “Can’t. [My Name] fell down the hole.”

    Mum: “What?!”

    Sister: “She fell down the hole. Over there.”

    Mum: “What? When?”

    Sister: “A few minutes ago.”

    Mum: *panicking* “Why didn’t you tell us?”

    Sister: “You and Gran were talking. It’s rude to interrupt.”

    (My family has never let me live down falling down the hole. My sister’s only reaction to her delayed response in the story was to say ‘well, it wasn’t as though you were going anywhere.’”)


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