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    They’re Deathly Safe

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (My six-year-old son and I are chatting as I walk him to school. For some reason we end up discussing when you should go to a doctor and when you should just take care of yourself.)

    Son: “But if you’re in a bad accident, you should call the ‘prime-medics’ *paramedics*, because then if you die, at least you’ll die safely.”

    Will Be Sitting On The Edge Of That Seat

    | Sweet Home, OR, USA | Cousins, Parents & Guardians

    (My dad, cousin, brother, and I are walking down the street to get our car after sitting all day at the Oregon Jamboree.)

    Dad: *to cousin* “Just stay here with the chairs while I go get the car. Make sure no one steals them.”

    Cousin: “But what if someone steals me?”

    Never Too Old To Fight For What’s Right

    | NH, USA | Aunts & Uncles, Grandparents, LGTBQ, Top

    (I don’t have a grandfather of my own as they both passed away before I was born. My cousin’s grandfather has come on vacation with us. They call him papaw. I’ve never really called him anything because I’m not sure what to call him as he’s not my grandfather and I’m not exactly sure how he feels about me. I’ve recently come out as gay and have brought my girlfriend with us on the trip. We’re listening to the radio and there’s some controversial story about gay rights being debated about.)

    Papaw: “D*** all these gays! This crap is annoying!”

    Uncle: “Dad!”

    Papaw: “What? This gay rights crap is getting old. I’ll never see anything settled in my lifetime so why should I have to hear about it everywhere I go? I’m sick of it!”

    Me: “Um, my girlfriend and I are sitting right here.”

    Papaw: “You don’t count.”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Papaw: “Because you’re my granddaughter and I’ll always fight for or beside you no matter what we’re fighting for.”

    (He’s since passed away but I couldn’t have asked for a better grandfather.)

    A Pompeiious Request

    | Italy | Parents & Guardians

    (We’re on a holiday visiting Pompeii and decide to walk to the top of the volcano. After half an hour we get to the top and start taking the snapshots. At one point I take the camera to take a picture of my mum, my dad, and my sister.)

    Me: “Okay, everybody huddle together!”

    (They huddle closer.)

    Dad: “Now, make sure you get the volcano in.”

    Me: “Dad… we’re standing on the volcano. I don’t think the volcano is going to be too hard to miss.”

    Die Hard

    | Germany | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (My son and I go for a walk. It’s cold outside and the puddles are frozen. He breaks through the ice and sees the water.)

    Son: “Oh! The water is still alive!”

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