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    Rerun Fun

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (I have started to notice my dad’s jokes are repetitive, so I deliver the punch line before he can.)

    Dad: “If you heard it before, why don’t you stop me?”

    Me: “It’s like finding a rerun on TV, Dad. You don’t realize it’s a rerun until you’ve seen most of it; by then, you might as well finish it.”

    Dad: “Huh, so I’m a rerun?”

    Me: “Sometimes reruns are fun, though.”

    Driving Towards Trouble

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Sons & Daughters

    (I’m explaining to my five year old that if she ever gets in trouble she should try to find someone to help, like a police officer.)

    Daughter: “What if I’m all by myself and I can’t find anyone to help me?”

    Me: “Why would you be walking down the street by yourself?”

    Daughter: “Because I don’t know how to drive!”

    Can’t Be A (Walking) Stick In The Mud

    | Kauai, HI, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (I, my dad, and mom are taking a walk on a nature trail. I’m four at the time and my dad is carrying me up on his shoulders.)

    Me: “Can I hold the stick?” *I am referring to a hiking stick my dad is walking with*

    Dad: *hesitantly* “If you promise not to hit me with it…”

    Me: “I promise!”

    Dad: *hands me the hiking stick*

    Me: *immediately hits him on the head with it*

    Mom: *starts laughing*

    Dad: “[My Name]!” *trying to keep a stern face but failing* “That’s not funny!”

    Me: *innocently* “Then why are you guys laughing?”

    Stripped Of Your Childhood

    | Canada | Sons & Daughters

    (I am walking with my friend and her two year old daughter when we pass an old closed down strip club. Her daughter runs up and tugs on the door.)

    Friend: “No, don’t go in there. You’re not a stripper.”

    Daughter: *curious* “Stripper?”

    Friend: *looking at me* “Whoops…”

    (Neither one of us could stop laughing, and I think my friend has learned to be a little more careful what she says around her daughter, who is clearly in the “repeating everything I hear” phase!)

    I Smell A New Train Of Thought

    | OR, USA | Sons & Daughters

    (We go to a pumpkin patch at Halloween and the kids ride a farm ‘train,’ which is a tractor pulling a wagon. The driver stops the train part-way along the route, pretending to run out of gas.)

    Driver: *to the kids* “Oh, no! This train runs on gas and SMILES! I’ve run out of gas, so you all need to SMILE!”

    My Five-Year-Old Daughter: “Or we could all fart! Farts are gas, too!”

    Poetry Getting A Frosty Reception

    | USA | Grandparents

    (I’m on a walk in the woods with my grandparents, and we come across a fork in the road, one of the paths clearly more often used.)

    Me: *strikes dramatic pose* “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I took the one less traveled by…”

    Grandmother: “What?”

    Me: “Oh, I was just quoting Robert Frost. You know, ‘The Road Not Taken’?”

    Grandfather: “Who’s Robert Frost? Is that from a song or something?”

    Me: “No, he was a famous poet.”

    Grandmother: “Oh. Well, you can’t expect me to keep up with all these modern celebrities.”

    Me: “…he died over fifty years ago…”