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    A Wild Geologist Appears!

    | WV, USA | Aunts & Uncles, Parents & Guardians

    (My father and two of my uncles were taking a walk along a strip mine when they began to hear a strange tapping noise.)

    Uncle: *whispering* “What’s that?”

    Dad: “Sounds like the tapping of a wild geologist.”

    (They crept quietly over the ridge and peered down. Sure enough, it was a geologist my dad knew, hunting for fossils.)

    She Has A Death-Fish

    | WV, USA | Siblings

    (I’m picking up my sister after her daily swim.)

    Sister: “I felt a pinprick and looked down, and there was a little fish beside my leg. I stayed really still, and it tried to bite me a couple of times.”

    Me: “Suicide by minnow. I don’t think it’ll catch on.”

    I Can’t Has Cheezburgers

    | Shellharbour, NSW, Australia | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (I am about four years old. The local ‘Carols by Candlelight’ is happening in my local area. Many mascots for the companies endorsing the event are walking around including Ronald McDonald. My mum lets my neighbour take me to meet Ronald. I come back crying.)

    Mum: *to our neighbor* “Why is she crying?”

    Neighbour: “I don’t know. She just started crying so I brought her back.”

    Mum: *to me* “Why are you crying?”

    Me: *through tears* “Because Ronald McDonald didn’t give me a cheeseburger!”

    (My mum and the rest of my family now like to bring this up as often as possible, especially over Christmas!)

    A Christmas Pajama Party

    | Portland, OR, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters, Theme Of The Month

    (One of the kids I babysit is at that adorable age of generosity. She and her mother are doing a Christmas charity walk with a Santa at the end.)

    Mother: “So, honey, what are you going to ask Santa for?”

    Daughter: “Pajamas.”

    Mother: “But you already have pajamas.”

    Daughter: “Not for me! For [Brother]; I think he needs pajamas. Daddy, too. Daddy needs pajamas.”

    (Santa was very amused.)

    The Bike Approval Is Falling

    | Wales, UK | Parents & Guardians

    (I’m seven years old and very nervous about bike riding. My dad buys an arm attachment that links my bike to the back of his bike so that I can pedal and feel like I’m riding a bike without the worry that I might fall off. We’ve been going for a long while and it’s going great until I notice that the bolt holding the arm in place is coming loose.)

    Me: *panicked* “Dad! I’m falling!”

    Dad: *confused and not slowing down* “Where?”

    Me: “Off!”

    (The arm came unbolted and I fell to the ground. My dad had to wheel two bikes all the way back home whilst I whined at him. Needless to say, this experience did not make me overly fond of bikes.)

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