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    Playing The Mothering (Eye) Roll

    | Lexington, KY, USA | Parents & Guardians

    Me: *on the phone* “Hello, Mom? Listen, I’m just calling to let you know that I’m going to be out late. They’re having a special screening over at [Local Theater].”

    Mom: “Oh, really? What’s the name of the movie?”

    Me:It Came From Outer Space in 3D.”

    Mom: “…”

    Me: “I can actually hear you rolling your eyes over the phone right now.”

    One Fine Day With A Woof And A Purr…

    | Edwardsville, IL, USA | Siblings

    (My younger brother is just learning how to read. We are all at a movie when the credits begin to roll and the word ‘cast’ comes up first.)

    Brother: “Mommy! If you take the S out of that word, I know what it spells!”

    Mom: “Oh yeah? What’s that?”

    Brother: “C-A-T. Dog!”

    Under Mother’s Spell

    | Chennai, TN, India | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My sister and I have dragged our parents to all the Harry Potter movies. Our first language is not English, but the two of us can manage without subtitles. Not so our parents, and my mother is very creative at story-telling. At the screening of ‘The Goblet of Fire,’ when Moody gives a hint to Harry as to the path to the center of the maze…)

    Sister & I: *excited running commentary, exulting*

    Dad: “What’s that maze? What did that one-eyed man mean by nodding to Harry Potter? This is all very difficult.” *to Mom* “Did you understand?”

    Mom: “See, there’s Dumbledore near Harry. So the one-eyed chap is asking Harry to get Dumbledore’s blessings by falling at his feet.”

    Sister & I: *wide eyed shock at her explanation*

    Dad: “Oh. Good.”

    (Dad believed it. COMPLETELY.)

    Bass-ed On The Comic Book

    | Maple Grove, MN, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (We’ve just gotten out of seeing the ‘300’ sequel in IMAX. After I come out of the bathroom I walk over to my dad as he looks at the cardboard cutout in front of the theater doors.)

    Dad: “Yeah, I’d see it again.”

    Me: “Eh, I’d wait for DVD.”

    Dad: “Didn’t like it?”

    Me: “It was okay, but it was so loud I was in the middle of sensory overload half the time.”

    Dad: “Yeah, well…”

    Me: “Dad. If I can feel the bass in my ribs, it’s too loud.”

    Blowing Holes In Her Shipping

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters, Teenagers

    (I am watching the latest ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ films in theatre with my best friend. Sitting in the row in front of us is a mother and daughter. As the movie plays, the following occurs.)

    Daughter: “Oh, my god! It’s Groves! I missed you, Theodore!”

    Mom: “That’s your favourite character, huh?”

    Daughter: “He’s so pretty!”


    Daughter: *squeals* “Gilette! I thought he was dead! This is awesome!”

    Mom: “Aren’t those the two pirates you write about, honey?”

    Daughter: “Oh, yeah, but they were Navy officers before.”

    (Still later.)

    Mom: “… I’ll buy the fact that they are close friends, but not as a romantic couple! Really rather unrealistic, wouldn’t you say?”

    Daughter: “Mom…”

    Mom: “I mean, you can’t just pair together two 18th century naval officers. There were laws against that sort of thing, wasn’t there?”

    Daughter: “Mom…”

    Mom: “And at any rate even if they were, they wouldn’t be so open as you make it out to be—”

    Daughter: “Mom! It’s just a movie! AND STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP!”

    (I couldn’t help laughing out loud, drawing stares from around the packed house, and my best friend reached down and gave the daughter a high-five when they turned around to investigate. Fangirl: 1, Mom: 0)

    Drama Before The Drama Movie

    | Tampa, FL, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My dad, my brother, my nephew, and I are going to the movies. My brother and my nephew arrive before my dad and me and get in line. When my dad and I arrive, my dad gets in line at the end while I go and talk to my brother. When it’s my brother’s turn at the window, I give him cash for my dad’s and my tickets so that it doesn’t take any extra time and so that we are not really ‘cutting’ in line. My brother gestures for my dad to join us but he shakes his head.)

    Me: “Dad, there’s no point. I already paid for your ticket!”

    Dad: *joking* “But I wanted to go see [Chick Flick] instead!”

    (He hangs his head in mock shame as he walks up to the front and the women in line behind him burst out laughing.)

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