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    She Did The Spidey-Sense-able Thing, Part 2

    | Italy | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (I am talking to my mom and point at a few spider webs on the ceiling.)

    Me: “Mom, do something about it!”

    (My mom takes my sister’s shirt and uses it to clean the spider webs off the ceiling, with spiders still attached. Then she shakes it outside and returns the shirt to the clean pile.)

    Me: “What are you doing, mom? [Sister] will kill you!”

    Mom: “Only if she finds out.”

    She Did The Spidey-Sense-able Thing

    Getting Thingama-jiggy With It

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My dad and I are trying to convince my brother to go to an indoor swap meet.)

    Dad: “C’mon, they have doodads.”

    Me: “And doohickeys.”

    Dad: “Yeah, dads and hickeys!”

    Goodbye Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

    | UK | Children, Nephews & Nieces

    (I am with two of my nephews, aged two and eight. The youngest one has found a pair of sunglasses.)

    Oldest Nephew: “He looks like Michael Jackson!”

    Me: “No he doesn’t! He looks more like Elton John.”

    Oldest Nephew: “Yeah? Well, Michael Jackson is way better than Elton John!”

    Me: “I feel like I have failed as an uncle…”

    Going Viral Old-School

    | Australia | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (It’s the middle of the night. My sister and I are sitting on the couch watching TV. Suddenly our dad comes out of the study laughing.)

    Dad: “What are you girls doing right now?”

    Sister: “Why?”

    Dad: “Come here. I’ve got to show you something.”

    Me: “[Sister's Name], you go and report back.”

    (My sister goes with my dad into the study and, after about a minute, I hear them laughing. My sister comes back nearly in tears.)

    Me: “What was it?”

    Sister: “It was a scene from a movie where two guys are having a spit fight and one spits in the other’s mouth!”

    Me: “Ewwww…”

    (Suddenly we see our dad taking his laptop into his room.)

    Sister: “Is he going to wake up mum just to show her that?”

    (After about a minute he comes back out laughing and goes to the front door with the laptop.)

    Me: “Wait… Is he going to go outside to show the neighbours now?”

    Incomprehension Of Congestion

    | UT, USA | Siblings

    (I’m in the bathroom, running a hot shower to create steam, hoping it will help with my baby’s congestion. My sister calls me and we talk for a bit.)

    Me: “Hey, I gotta go. I need to beat the c**p out of my child.”

    Sister: *laughs*

    Me: “It’s a good thing no one else heard that, because they’d probably take that the wrong way.”

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