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    Not On Her Pokémon Gold Behavior

    | USA | Siblings

    (I have been playing Pokémon Y and trying to catch Mewtwo for several hours when this happens.)

    Me: *jumping up from my seat with my fists in the air* “YES! I did it!”

    Sister: “What did you do?”

    Me: “I finally caught Mewtwo!”

    Sister: “Why didn’t you just use a master ball?”

    (A master ball catches a Pokémon 100% of the time on the first try, but there is only one of them in the game.)

    Me: “I already used it by accident to catch Zygarde… So, instead I had to find a Sableye because it’s, like, one of two Pokémon that’s immune to all of the Mewtwo’s attacks, which was a lot harder than I thought it would be since it’s a rare find, catch it, level it up, use it to weaken the Mewtwo, and throw hundreds and hundreds of pokéballs at it until one of them caught it. I think I only had like three of them left when I finally caught him.”

    Sister: “That sounds like a lot of work.”

    Me: “Yep. Oh, right, I haven’t saved the game since I caught the Sableye… I should do that now so I don’t accidentally turn it off without saving and lose all my progress again like I did last time.”

    Sister: “So you haven’t saved the game yet?”

    Me: “Nope.”

    Sister: *reaches over and pops the game cartridge out of the back of the 3DS*

    (And that is the story of how my little sister nearly ended up in the ER with a 3DS shoved up her butt.)

    Related:
    On Her Pokémon Gold Behavior, Part 2
    On Her Pokémon Gold Behavior

    Caught Under A Gagging Order

    | Australia | Siblings

    (I’m at my sister’s house helping her out with some cleaning when she asks me to change her son’s nappy. He’s four-years old with multiple disabilities requiring 24-hour care, but is a happy little guy. As I start to take his jeans off I’m hit with the smell and see that he has leaked a bit. I start to gag, as my sister is walking into the kitchen she hears me dry retching.)

    Sister: “Oh no, [Son] did you make Aunty [My Name] gag?”

    (He’s laughing & clapping his hands.)

    Sister: “Good on ya, son. He made daddy throw up yesterday. I’m so proud!”

    But One Day They Will Be Back For Revenge…

    | Australia | Parents & Guardians

    (My mum’s already in bed reading as it’s quite late at night, but after I find a spider in my own bed I don’t want to lie down so I go see her.)

    Me: “Finding a spider in my bed was exactly the way I didn’t want to start the night.”

    Mum: “Oh, dear. Did you take care of it?”

    Me: “Yeah, it’s dead. Now I’m just worried that all its spider babies live in my bed, too.”

    Mum: “Well, they just watched their mother die, so they’re probably suitably cowed.”

    Me: “You think?”

    Mum: “Definitely. They’ll all run away from their mother’s murderer. Sleep well.”

    Lucky Number Twelfth

    | USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My mother is a nurse and works in the OB department. We’re at home casually chatting when this happens.)

    Mom: “Hey, how do you spell ‘twelfth?'”

    Me: “Uhm…T W E L F T H. Why?”

    Mom: *shrugging* “No real reason. We had a baby born last night and no one could agree how to spell the date on the birth certificate.”

    Me: “How’d you end up spelling it?”

    Mom: “T H I R T E E N T H.”

    Needs To Rethink That Request

    | Hastings, MN, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings, Theme Of The Month

    (My dad and brothers have just returned from cutting down our Christmas tree, and one of my brothers is working on setting up the tree stand, as my dad has instructed him to.)

    Dad: “[Brother], what are you doing? Why aren’t you [doing some other task]?”

    Brother: “I’m setting up the tree stand, like you told me to, Dad.”

    Dad: “[Brother], do what I think, not what I say!”

    Stopping Mr. Green From Being Blue

    | Miami, FL, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners, Theme Of The Month

    (My wife and I have just brought home our Christmas tree. We stand it up in the living room and head out to the garage to get the decorations, only to find our four-year-old daughter hugging it and petting it like a puppy.)

    Daughter: “Don’t be sad, Mr. Green.”

    Wife: “[Daughter]? What are you doing, sweetie?”

    Daughter: “Making Mr. Green feel better.”

    Me: “Who’s Mr. Green, babygirl?”

    (She stops hugging the tree, then points at it and jumps up and down.)

    Daughter: “HIM!”

    Wife: “Oh… is Mr. Green sad?”

    Daughter: “Uh-huh.”

    Me: “Why is he sad?”

    Daughter: *rolling her eyes* “Because he misses the other trees, daddy!”

    (We ended up referring to our Christmas tree as “Mr. Green” the remainder of the season.)


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