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  • Birds And Bees On Aisle Four
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  • Just The Finger Tip-sy

    | Perth, WA, Australia | Siblings, Theme Of The Month

    (For Christmas last year my sisters and I received nail polish and a nail drying machine. The drying machine never gets hot enough to completely dry the shellac, but luckily we were also given a solution to wipe over it which hardens it up and prevents it from being damaged. Unfortunately, we ran out and my sister forgot to tell anyone so we could order more. She also forgot to check if we had any more before starting to paint her nails one night.)

    Sister: *just finished painting nails* “Oh, no! We don’t have any of the drying stuff? How am I going to dry my nails?”

    (My mum and I have no idea and go back to watching TV thinking nothing of it until my sister comes to us holding a bottle of Midori she has gotten from the pantry.)

    Sister: “It says alcohol can dry it so I’m just going to use this.”

    (She didn’t understand why we started laughing. Luckily we were able to convince her to use acetone. To this day she still doesn’t understand why she couldn’t dry them with Midori.)

    A Prehistoric Christmas Tradition

    | USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Parents & Guardians, Siblings, Theme Of The Month

    (My mom got her boyfriend Beatles Rock Band for Christmas one year, which my little sister quickly became obsessed with playing. She doesn’t know anything about the Beatles or how to select which songs she wants to play, so she’s always asking my mom’s boyfriend for help.)

    Sister: “Can you help me pick a song?”

    Mom’s Boyfriend: “Sure. Which song did you want to play?”

    Sister: “Lucky in the Sky With Dinosaurs!”

    (We couldn’t stop laughing. We never call the song by its real name anymore.)

    Man’s Best Friend For Many Reasons

    | OH, USA | Grandparents

    (I am playing on my phone and it’s bedtime. I am sitting on my sofa and my dog is staring at me because he won’t go to bed until I do. Finally my dog walks over and puts his paw in the middle of my phone.)

    Grandma: “I think [Dog] is telling you you had enough.”

    An Ocean Of Imagination

    | Milan, Italy | In-Laws, Nephews & Nieces, Siblings

    (Previously, my sister had crafted a story about an octopus living under the house.)

    Niece: “Where is aunty?”

    Sister: “She is with the octopus.”

    (After a discussion where my niece wants to see the octopus, but my sister says that you can only see him if he invites you.)

    Niece: “Octopuses aren’t real!”

    Sister: “They are real! Go and ask your dad.”

    Niece: *asks my brother* “Are octopuses real?”

    Brother: *slight pause* “It’s octopi, and yes.”

    Niece: *flabbergasted* “But…”

    (Later, my sister-in-law tells my sister what happens next…)

    Niece: “Octopuses are real?”

    Sister-In-Law: “Yes.”

    Niece: “Even the pretend ones?”

    Don’t Discount His Ambition

    | Tulalip, WA, USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces

    (One of my nephews has certain peculiar ways of thinking and reacting that have made some family members question whether he might have a problem with his neurological development. One day, I show him a music video I made using video game footage and an upbeat country song.)

    Song: “Tumble out of bed and I stumble to the kitchen; pour myself a cup of ambition…”

    (Since the game didn’t have a good shot of the main character drinking coffee, instead the clip shows them eating pancakes. Forward a couple months, and I’m playing video games with my nephew, using a mod that lets us grow a wide variety of crops. He quickly figures out how to brew coffee, and hands me some.)

    Nephew: “Here, have a cup of ambition!”

    (Any time I wonder if he’s all right in the head, I’m gonna think back on this, remembering that neither the song nor the associated clip ever directly mentioned coffee. He made that association entirely on his own.)

    The Tooth And Nothing But The Tooth

    | Canada | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My sister has started losing her baby teeth. My brother and I are both older, and know all about how the Tooth Fairy works, but she doesn’t yet know. My sister and my brother are both upstairs, while my mother is doing laundry downstairs.)

    Sister: “Moooom, the tooth fairy didn’t show up last night!”

    Mom: “D***!”

    Sister: “Why ‘d***?'”

    Mom: “No, just your brother almost dropped his laundry on top of me.”

    (Mom comes over to me and starts frantically whispering.)

    Mom: *to me* “I forgot her tooth! I forgot her tooth!” *to sister* “Go and put it under the pillows of our bed, so that the tooth fairy can get it tonight.”

    Sister: “What? Why?”

    Me: “Their bed is bigger, so the tooth fairy will be more likely to see it. Just go put the tooth under their pillow!”

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