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    Pregnancy Gives You Weird Eating Habits

    | Cleveland, OH, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (I am trying to explain to my young son that I am pregnant.)

    Me: “Sweetie, there is a baby in mommy’s tummy.”

    Son: “You ate a baby?!”

    They Are Immune To The Force

    | USA | Siblings

    (I am a huge sci-fi geek, and have just gotten a new ‘Star Wars’ t-shirt with a drawing of a stormtrooper on it, and am showing it to my sisters.)

    Me: “So, what do you think?”

    Sister #1: “What’s that robot thing on the front?”

    Me: “A stormtrooper, and it is NOT a robot!”

    Sister #2: “What’s a stormtrooper?”

    Me: “They work for Darth Vader and the Emperor.”

    Sister #1: “Who’s ‘Dath Vader’?”

    Sister #2: “And who’s the Emperor?”

    Me: “You’re breaking my heart! You’re going down a path I can’t follow!”

    Sister #2: “Huh?”

    Me: “Because of what you’ve done, what you plan to do! Stop! Stop now… Come back!”

    Sisters: “What?!”

    (They’ve seen nearly all the movies!)

    Formally Pleased And Informally Insulted

    | USA | Parents & Guardians

    Mom: “Don’t you think you should be getting ready for your job interview?”

    Me: “Oh, yeah.” *look in my closet* “There’s nothing formal in here for me to wear. Can I borrow one of your blouses to wear?”

    Mom: “My blouses?”

    Me: “Yeah, your clothes are so boring. So, one of your boring blouses.”

    Mom: “Well! I don’t know whether to be insulted or pleased!”

    The Ugly Truth, Part 3

    | Durant, OK USA | Grandchildren, Grandparents

    (I’m at my grandma’s house curled up on her couch, when I hear her in the next room playing with my little brother. When she teases him, he rebukes her quite adorably.)

    Little Brother: “No, Grandma! Don’t be ugly!”

    Grandma: “Honey, I was born ugly!”

    Related:
    The Ugly Truth, Part 2
    The Ugly Truth

    Not In The Mood For Her Unreasonableness

    | MI, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My daughter is my mother’s only granddaughter. My daughter is just starting to hit that age where puberty is starting to show in little ways. Of course, being Grandma, mom has to throw in advice.)

    Mom: “[Daughter] is growing up so fast! She’s going to be going through puberty soon. Be warned that it may be rough. Her mom had some pretty wild mood swings through hers.”

    Me: “I didn’t have mood swings. You were just unreasonable.”

    Mom: “See? There’s those mood swings.”


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