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    Sounding Off About The Sound Off

    | USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (I am having a movie night with my sons, aged four and six. Occasionally I will make a comment or have a small chat with my husband, who is deployed. About half way through the movie, my four-year-old turns around, completely exasperated, and in a very stern voice says:)

    Four-Year-Old Son: “Zip it, lock it, and put it in your pocket.”

    (He then turns around and crosses his arms, and I don’t dare say another word for the rest of the movie.)

    A Flip Flop

    | IA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My Mom, brother, and I are in the dining room, next to the kitchen.)

    Mom: “Will one of you flip off the kitchen light?”

    (Simultaneously, one of us says ‘f*** you!’ as the other two use our hands to ‘flip off’ the light.)

    H-Duh-MI

    | The Netherlands | Parents & Guardians

    (I am currently looking for a job in website design. My mom is rather computer illiterate. I’m calling her to tell her about a job interview coming up.)

    Me: “They’re just a bit worried I don’t have enough experience with HTML and CSS, but I’m practicing with it now, so it should hopefully good enough by the time of the interview.”

    Mom: “That’s great, honey! What was that called? H…”

    Me: “HTML.”

    Mom: “Oh! My TV has that, too!”

    Me: “… No, mom, that’s HDMI.”

    Mom: “What’s the difference?”

    Some Animals Are More Equal Than Others

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (We live on a small farm. I have a two-year-old son, and am keen for him to have a good understanding of looking after animals humanely, and understanding where our food comes from. We recently had two horses put to sleep due to old age issues, and as part explaining where they went we discussed not allowing animals to suffer pain if we can’t help them. We also had a steer home-killed to put in the freezer shortly prior to that, which my son had watched being shot and partially dismembered. I then manage to badly hurt my back and my husband is trying to explain to him why I can’t play or carry him about.)

    Husband: “Mummy has hurt her back and can’t play.”

    Son: “Oh, she’ll get a bang and get chopped up?”

    (At least he got the point that we don’t let animals suffer needlessly! We did have yet another discussion on what happens to people after they die and how we don’t normally put them in the freezer to eat later…)

    The Genesis Of Sibling Rivalry

    | Queens, NY, USA | Siblings

    (I would regularly tease my sister when we were kids.)

    Me: “First there was [My Name], and God saw that it was good. So then there was [Brother], and God saw that it was good. So then there was [Sister].”

    (And I’d just stop there.)


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