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    Straight To The Point

    | Australia | LGTBQ, Parents & Guardians, Siblings, Top

    (I am 16 and have come out to a few friends as bisexual, but am stressing about telling my parents. I know my whole family is open about it, but I am scared they will react negatively. My 14-year-old sister is talking to mum about her upcoming school formal while dad reads in the corner. Note that everyone in the family believes her to be completely straight.)

    Mum: “Have you found a date yet?”

    Sister: “Actually, yes. I just asked [Girl's Name]. She’s… I really like her.”

    Mum: *pause* “Okay, sweetie, I’m glad to hear it!”

    Dad: “Girls, huh? Cool.” *goes back to reading*

    Mum: “Have you thought about what dress you want yet?”

    Me: “…”

    Mother Doesn’t Have A Foot To Stand On

    | NY, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (I have sprained my right ankle. Both my feet are really swollen due to a medication I am on, so they don’t notice any outward swelling even though it is about three times its normal size. They don’t do anything about it. 10 months later, I sprain the left one and have to walk home on it. My mom told me that if I was able to walk that far on it, it wasn’t serious enough to warrant a trip to the doctor. Fast forward to present day. My ankles are now permanently swollen since they never got the full treatment they needed. I now work retail, and it is the holiday season.)

    Me: “Those shoes suck, Mom. I need new ones. Look.”

    (I pull my shoe off to show her the bleeding calluses I’ve developed.)

    Mom: “Oh, s***. What did you do to your foot?”

    Me: “Calluses, Mom, These shoes are not helping.”

    Mom: “I see the calluses. Why is your ankle so swollen?”

    Me: “Eight years later, and you finally see that? Good job, Mom. Good job.”

    A Novel Use Of The Navel

    | NC, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (I’m about three years old at this time. My preschool teacher and a family friend are pregnant around the same time.)

    Me: “Mommy, how does baby get in tummies?”

    Mom: “When a man and a woman get married, God will give them a baby.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (A few days later.)

    Me: “How does a baby get out of the tummy?”

    Mom: *slightly surprised* “There’s a special spot on a woman’s body.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (A few days later…)

    Me: “Where’s that special spot? Is it the belly button?”

    Mom: “You know what? What about we go get some ice cream?”

    (I thought the baby came out of the belly button for the next seven years…)

    Now I Know My X, Y, Zs

    | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Children, Siblings

    (My sister and I are quite young, around three and seven. She is annoying me with questions, and I just want her to stop.)

    Sister: “How do you spell Rachel?”

    Me: “I don’t know. However you want.”

    (She proceeds to spell it with all x’s, y’s, and z’s.)

    Not Doing Rights By His Kids

    | USA | Parents & Guardians

    (I am in high school and in several honors courses, and therefore have a huge amount of homework. My dad is trying to get me to spend the afternoon at a park with the family.)

    Dad: “You need to be part of the family. Stop being so selfish!”

    Me: “Dad, I have several hours of homework and I simply don’t have time to do this today.”

    Dad: “You can manage.”

    Me: “Not unless you want me to be up working until two am.”

    Dad: “Shut up and listen to me! You are my daughter, and I can make you do whatever I want. You have no control over what you do with your life.”

    Me: “Uh, no… I think you may want to step out of the 19th century and face the fact that kids have rights.”

    Dad: “But children have no rights! They’re nothing!”

    Me: “There are so, so many things wrong with that statement…”

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