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    Stripping Down The Work Force

    | Parkersburg, WV, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My older sister has recently graduated from college.)

    Mom: “You’ll need some work clothes once you get a job. Actually, you might get a job where you won’t need special clothes.”

    Me: “You might get a job where you don’t need clothes!”

    (My sister, mom, and I burst into laughter while my dad begins to look flustered.)

    Dad: “Well, at least use a fake name!”

    The Situation Ballooned Out Of Control

    | WA, Australia | Siblings

    (It is a boring winter day. Somehow my older siblings and I think it will be fun to throw water balloons at the street behind our fence.)

    Sister: “Oh, there are people walking by.”

    Brother: “Let’s see if we can hit one of them.”

    Sister: “Okay, but be ready to run.”

    Brother: “I don’t think I can throw a balloon that far.”

    Sister: “Hmmm, how about using this?” *picks up a tennis racket*

    Me: “This is starting to feel like a bad idea.”

    Brother: “Nah, it’s not. Just be ready to run. Here. I filled it with a lot of water.”

    Me: “I’m gonna go hide behind that shed.”

    (I walk behind the shed and hear a splash. I decide to walk back to my siblings as I didn’t hear any running. I look over the fence to see a woman just staring at my house. She appears to be dry.)

    Sister: *while still holding the racket up* “So…”

    Me: “You didn’t realise that the water balloon would pop the moment it got hit by a racket?”

    Sister: “Yup.”

    Me: “And you thought I was more concerned about getting caught then wet?”

    Brother: “Yup.”

    Me: “Aren’t you cold?”

    Brother And Sister: “Yup.”

    Teach A Man To Fish (In English)

    | TX, USA | In-Laws, Siblings

    (I am visiting my sister and brother-in-law for the summer. We’re getting ready to go on a fishing trip. My brother-in-law is Taiwanese and came to the US for his Ph.D. My sister and I are Mexican, but while I came to the US at the age of three she came to the US at the age of fourteen. Obviously I’m the one out of the three who knows the most English. As we’re inspecting the equipment:)

    Brother-In-Law: “It looks like the thing is broken.”

    Sister: “Do we have to go out and buy a new thing for the rod?”

    Brother-In-Law: “Yeah, we don’t have a thing here.”

    Me: “Do you guys mean the fishing reel?”

    (There’s a beat of silence as both of them process this new word.)

    Sister: “Yes, that’s it! The fishing reel. It’s great to have an American with us!”

    Meet The Pun Family, Part 3

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My dad is about to put some chicken nuggets and tater tots in the oven. I walk in the kitchen for some water and see the baking sheet.)

    Me: “There aren’t that many nuggets there, dad. Do we have any more?”

    Dad: “That’s a big nugget-ive.”

    Me: “…get out.”

    Dad: *laughing* “Don’t be such a pun-k.”

    Me: “Stop it, please. It hurts.”

    Meet The Pun Family, Part 2
    Meet The Pun Family

    Dialing Up The Past

    | NSW, Australia | Siblings, Teenagers, Themed Giveaway

    (My stepbrother (17), stepsister (14), and I (20) are talking. We have recently capped our internet, so it’s running ridiculously slow.)

    Me: “We’re back to dial-up speed.”

    Stepbrother: “It’s not THAT slow.”

    Me: “Please. Do you even remember when dial up was a thing?”

    Stepbrother: “Only because I went to a friend’s house when I was younger who had dial up.”

    Stepsister: “I don’t.”

    Me: “So you wouldn’t remember this noise then?” *plays the sound of dial-up internet connecting*

    Stepsister: “No. That’s horrible.”

    Me: “We had to hear that noise every time we connected to the internet.”

    Stepsister: “Why didn’t you just have it connected all the time?”

    (My stepbrother and I look at her in shock for a moment, trying to work out if she’s serious. We determine she is.)

    Me: “Because then we couldn’t use the phone.”

    Stepsister: “What?”

    (My stepbrother and I had to spend a good five minutes showing her the plug and explaining that the phone and the modem used the same plug. Never in my life have I felt so old whilst dealing with someone not even six years my junior!)

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