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    Parapsylimpics

    | IN, USA | Siblings

    (My sister and I are watching the Sochi Olympics. A snowboarder, one of the gold medal contenders, has just crashed in the half-pipe. Impulsively, I blurt out a score.)

    Me: “Fifteen.”

    Sister: “Hmm?”

    Me: “I think that’s his score. Fifteen.”

    (Within seconds, his score shows onscreen: 15.00. My jaw drops.)

    Me: “No. Way.”

    Sister: “You probably just looked it up online.”

    Me: “No, I was at work all day! And you know how I am about spoilers.”

    (Later, a German figure skating pair is getting ready to perform.)

    Me: “I think they’re gonna crash. They always show someone who does.”

    (They don’t crash.)

    Sister: “Ha! Guess your streak is broken!”

    (The next night, though, this same pair performs again, and both of them end up falling.)

    Me: “Hey, I was right! I didn’t say when they’d crash!”

    Sister: “You need to stop being psychic. It’s creepy.”

    Advice Is Not To Be Sneezed At

    | VA, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    Me: *sneezes*

    Three-Year-Old Son: “Mama, did you just have a really big sneeze?”

    Me: “Yes, I did. What do you say to people who sneeze?”

    Three-Year-Old Son “Go to the doctor!”

    She’s A Mew-dist

    | PA, USA | Children, Pets & Animals, Sons & Daughters

    (I am getting my two-year-old daughter ready to take over to her grandma’s for the day. Some mornings it’s a fight to get her to do anything.)

    Me: “[Daughter], it’s time to get dressed; you need clothes to go to Memaw’s.”

    Daughter: “No. I no want to.”

    (I try to put shirt on her as our cat Buster wanders past.)

    Daughter: “Buster doesn’t wear a shirt. I won’t either!”

    (I shake my head at the profound logic coming from my two-year-old. We might have to start clothing our animals now.)

    Little Miss Fancy-Pants

    | South Africa | Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners

    (My husband sleeps in his underwear. This is the conversation that occurs between he and my two-year-old daughter that has just been potty trained.)

    Daughter: *pointing to husband’s underwear* “That is your panty!”

    Husband: “No! Men do not wear panties. They wear underpants.”

    Daughter: “That is your under-panty!”

    Reading Between The Line

    | MB, Canada | Children, Siblings

    (My family and I are playing a game of Pictionary. I am on a team with my little sister, but for this round all teams draw and guess. The answer is ‘bicycle.’ My dad and I are drawing.)

    Mum: *flips over timer*

    Me: *draws horizontal line*

    Little Sister: “Bicycle.”

    Me: *slowly puts down pencil, while the rest of the family is shocked that she got it so quickly*

    Dad: “How did you know?”

    Little Sister And Me: *in unison* “Telepathy.”


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