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  • Stop Trying Our Patience
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  • May's Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    A Very Blonde Comment

    | TN, USA | Cousins

    (I’m watching a movie with Asian people in it with my great cousin.)

    Cousin: “He speaks good Chinese for a white guy.”

    Me: “Um… He is Chinese.”

    Cousin: “No, he isn’t. He has blond hair!”

    The Friendly Truth

    | IN, USA | Parents & Guardians, Theme Of The Month

    (My parents are watching ‘Friends’ when I’m about seven years old. My baby sister is already in our bedroom asleep, and I’d already finished my homework so I wander out.)

    Ross: “My wife’s a lesbian.”

    Joey: “Cool.”

    Me: “I don’t get it. What’s a lesbian?”

    Step-Dad: “Um, well, it’s some who… really likes cats.”

    Me: “Oh, and he’s allergic or something?”

    Mom: *laughing so hard she can barely speak* “Yep. Allergic. Totally.”

    Little Black And Yellow White Lies

    | Watertown, MA, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My mother has taken my sister and me to visit her mother. As we’re walking towards the apartment, I notice a MASSIVE wasp on my mom’s shirt… just as it crawls down her collar.)

    Me: *horrified* “Mooommmm! There’s a wasp! INSIDE your shirt!”

    Mom: *freezing* “…is it a big one?”

    Me: *freaking out* “Yeeesss!!!”

    (We proceed VERY slowly and gently down the rest of the hall, and when we get to my grandmother’s apartment, my mother immediately heads to the bedroom to very carefully remove her shirt and get the wasp out. Fortunately, she is able to get it out a window without incident. She puts her shirt back on, and turns to me sternly.)

    Mom: “Next time I ask you if it’s big, say no!”

    He Doesn’t Kid Around

    | Canada | Parents & Guardians

    (I have just hit the age where puberty is starting. This is how my dad tells me I need to wear deodorant.)

    Dad: “Hey, [My Name]; you’re starting to smell like a dead goat…”

    Open Mouth, Insert Broken Ankle

    | Ft. Collins, CO, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (I have a broken ankle and am on crutches. I’m currently upstairs, and our fridge is of course on the first floor. Mom passes by.)

    Me: “Say, Mom?”

    Mom: “Yeah?”

    Me: “Can you go downstairs and get me some cider and another ice pack, please?”

    Mom: “What, is your foot broken?”

    Me: “Why, yes! Yes, it is!” *I gesture at my foot*

    Mom: “…I walked RIGHT into that one, didn’t I?”

    Different Settings Of Magic

    | Green Bay, WI, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (I’m about 14 years old and know more about my mom’s phone than she does.)

    Mom: “Could you find out what’s wrong with my phone? It won’t connect to the wifi.” *hands me her phone and walks off*

    Me: *goes into the settings on her phone and switches the wifi on* “I fixed it!”

    Mom: “How the heck did you do that?”

    Me: “Magic; what else?”


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