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    Stranger Zombies Can Be Found

    | TX, USA | Cousins

    (My cousin is going into the grocery store while I stay in the car.)

    Cousin: “I’ll leave the car running for you. If you see a stranger, bite them. Don’t let them bite you though or you’ll turn into a stranger…”

    Pick Up Guys And Fallen Children

    | USA | Parents & Guardians, Top

    (I am about 12 years old, and grocery shopping with my mother. My mother is recently single, and notices a man about her age loitering around the deli counter. She points him out to me as we pass.)

    Mother: “[My Name], check out that guy. Isn’t he cute?”

    Me: “Uh… sure?”

    (We turn to go down an aisle. As we are coming back up it, my mother notices the same man at the end of the aisle. Just as we get close, I feel a hand at the back of my shirt collar. Without warning, my mother pushes me in front of the man’s cart. The man is forced to stop abruptly so he doesn’t hit me. My mother hastily pulls me back towards her.)

    Mother: “Oh, I’m sorry. My daughter is so clumsy.”

    Man: “That’s all right.”

    (He walks away, very confused.)

    Mother: *to me* “Did you see a ring on his finger?!”

    Me: “I didn’t notice!”

    Mother: “What do you mean you didn’t notice? You were two feet away!”

    Me: “I was a little busy trying not to get run over!”

    Like For Like Honesty

    | ON, Canada | Children, Sons & Daughters, Themed Giveaway

    (My Mum and I are in the checkout lane at a grocery store. I’m about four years old. I see another man behind us.)

    Me: “I don’t like you.”

    (My mother is horrified and turns around.)

    Man: *laughing* “It’s okay, sweetie. You don’t have to.”

    (My mother still finds humour in telling me that story!)

    Mommy’s Little Fallen Angel

    | Redmond, WA, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (I’m checking out a mother and her son.)

    Mother: “Oh, and since mommy’s boy has been such an angel, why don’t you go pick something out from the candy rack there and I’ll get it for you?”

    Boy: “What? You wouldn’t let me get anything last time because you said I was a hellspawn!”

    Mother: “And this time you behaved yourself. As such, you get a reward for it.”

    (The boy turns to the various candy bars and treats we have by the register. After staring at them in confusion he grabs the boxes and pulls several off the shelves, making a complete mess on the floor.)

    Mother: *sputtering* “Wha… what are you doing?”

    Boy: “I wanna be a hellspawn again! Being an angel is boring!”

    Toucan Play At That Game

    | USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (I work at a retail grocery store as a stocker. One night while working on our cereal aisle I overhear a man and his daughter talking about buying some.)

    Daughter: “Dad, let’s get the ‘fruit loops.’ I like Toucan Sam!”

    Father: *comparing prices with the store brand version with a dragon as the mascot* “Let’s get this one here with Toucan Sam’s cousin on it.”

    Daughter: *makes a confused look* “I don’t think toucans and dragons are related, dad.”

    Father: “I think they had parakeets in the prehistoric age.”


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