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    Food For Thoughtless, Part 3

    | FL, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    Brother: “Dad, what’s chicken made out of?”

    Dad: *surprised* “Chicken.”

    Brother: “No, but what animal?”


    From NotAlwaysRight:
    Food For Thoughtless, Part 2
    Food For Thoughtless

    Must Be Something In Their Milk

    | Jerusalem, Israel | Children, Sons & Daughters, Top

    (I am riding in the car with my three-year-old daughter and two-year-old son when they begin bouncing a nonsense phrase back and forth to each other.)

    Daughter: “Everybody was poats!”

    Son: “Everybody was poats!”

    Daughter: “Everybody was poats!”

    Son: “Everybody was poats!”

    Daughter: “Everybody was poats!”

    Son: “Everybody was poats!”

    (This goes on rhythmically for about fifteen minutes, during which I’m apparently being lulled into a false sense of security, because:)

    Daughter: “Everybody was poats!”

    Son: “Everybody was poats!”

    Daughter: *shouting at the top of her lungs* “DEMON LLAMA!”

    (I laughed so hard from shock that I almost crashed the car.)

    The Answer Doesn’t Grow On Trees

    | American Fork, UT, USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces, Siblings

    (My sister called me just after I got out of work to ask if I had a ride home. Since I enjoy seeing her, I accepted an offer to drive two miles total from work to my apartment. I get in the car and my four-year-old nephew and almost-two-year-old nephew are in the back seats.)

    Me: “Hi, [Sister]! Hi, boys!”


    Nephew #2: *quietly* “Hi.”

    Sister: “I told him that he had to be nice tonight, since he cried last time.”

    Me: “I understand.”

    Sister: “[Nephew #2], what’s Friday?”

    Nephew #2: “Valentine’s Day.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s fun!”

    Sister: “Are you going to have valentines at school?”

    Nephew #2: “Yeah, but I don’t want to give them to people I don’t like.”

    (I stifle a laugh.)

    Sister: “That’s not a very nice thing to say! Say the nicest thing you can think of!”

    Nephew #2 *after a moment of hesitation* “Tree.”

    Ironic Meets Moronic

    | Lincolnshire, England, UK | Cousins

    (My cousin and I are driving, having a deep debate.)

    Cousin: “I do wish the Muslims would realise we westerners are not all the same.”

    (He’s still not grasped the irony!)

    NCIS: Modern Family

    | USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My family and I are driving home from an event. My little sisters are excitedly talking about a door they’d seen labeled ‘danger.’)

    Sister #1: “What do you think was behind it?”

    Sister #2: *jokingly* “Maybe a dead body!”

    Me: *not having paid attention* “Did someone say there was a dead body!? Cool!”

    Mom: “You need to stop watching crime shows, [My Name].”

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