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  • Can’t Mask The Truth From Children
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  • August's Theme Of The Month: Sibling Rivalry!
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    NCIS: Modern Family

    | USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My family and I are driving home from an event. My little sisters are excitedly talking about a door they’d seen labeled ‘danger.’)

    Sister #1: “What do you think was behind it?”

    Sister #2: *jokingly* “Maybe a dead body!”

    Me: *not having paid attention* “Did someone say there was a dead body!? Cool!”

    Mom: “You need to stop watching crime shows, [My Name].”

    Go With Option Number Two

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Siblings, Theme Of The Month

    (My sister and I (aged around 10 and 12 respectively) are arguing in the back seat of the car.)

    Me: *to sister angrily* “You’re a s***-head!”

    Mum: *wearily* “People who resort to using swear words are showing they’re not smart enough to use the proper words.”

    Me: *to sister* “You’re a faeces-face!”

    Wanna Get High (Up North)

    | OH, USA | Grandparents

    (I am driving back to my grandma’s house after she had a doctor appointment. We are driving down a country road when we see a car that seems lost. I see their car plates.)

    Me: “Oh, they’re from Canada!”

    Grandma: “Must be drug dealers.”

    Me: “What? Why are they drug dealers? They could just be a couple of people lost.”

    Grandma: “People from Canada come to the United States all the time to sell drugs.”

    (Later my grandma’s insurance man has come to the house to speak with her.)

    Grandma: “So, I’ve seen two drug dealers today…”

    Me: *face palm*

    In Case Of Hit, Pull Here

    | USA | Grandparents

    (I am about 14, on vacation with my sisters and my grandmother. My grandmother has rented a sedan for the trip. As she opens the trunk so we can stow some beach gear inside, I notice there is a glow-in-the-dark latch with instructions printed on it inside. It looks like a device to pop the trunk in case you get trapped inside.)

    Me: “What a weird thing to have inside your trunk.”

    Grandmother: *deadpans* “It’s the anti-mafia latch. Usually you’re dead when they put you in the trunk, but in case you’re not…”

    Breaking The Silence

    | USA | Grandparents

    (I’m in high school. My grandmother is driving me to a doctor’s appointment after school when a rainstorm starts up. The rain gets so heavy that we can’t see anything, even with the windshield wipers on full power. There is traffic around us and I’m getting worried. My grandmother is unfazed.)

    Me: “Grandma, shouldn’t we pull over?”

    Grandmother: “No, we’re fine.”

    (A few minutes go by. The rain doesn’t let up.)

    Grandmother: “You know, sometimes in the rain… brakes fail.”

    Me: “What?!”

    Grandmother: “I just thought you’d want to know.”

    Me: “Why would I want to know that?!”

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