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    Losing Your Religions

    | Ft. Worth, TX, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (I am about 10 years old. It’s almost Easter, and I mention the Easter bunny.)

    Dad: “I have to tell you something about the Easter bunny. He’s not real. Parents make that kind of thing up.”

    (I hang my head, thinking about what he just said.)

    Me: “So… Santa, and the tooth fairy too?”

    Dad: “Yeah.”

    Me: “And God?”

    Dad: *laughs* “You have to figure that one out for yourself.”

    My Sister Can Be A Brain Drain

    | IN, USA | Siblings

    (My sister and I are driving home after seeing a concert. It’s not particularly late, but the show was loud and high-energy, so we’re both rather tired, drained, and not thinking clearly. We’re otherwise sober. I notice an elementary school’s marquee out the window.)

    Me: “Huh. [Elementary School] is doing ‘Fiddler on the Roof.’”

    Sister: “No, that’s the school corporation’s summer musical. High school.”

    Me: “Oh! I was about to say… that’s kind of heavy stuff for a middle school to be producing.”

    Sister: “That school is an elementary school.”

    Me: “Gah! Music… too… loud… brain… no… work…”

    (We arrive home at this point; my sister accidentally drives up onto the curb trying to park.)

    Sister: “Brain… thing… contagious…”

    Might Want To Put A Stop To That

    | Pepperell, MA, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (I am  just learning to drive and we are on a back road when…)

    Mom: *screaming* “Stop!”

    (Of course I slammed on the brakes and look around the empty road thinking an animal was going to run out.)

    Me: “What?! I don’t see anything!”

    Mom: “Oh, no. I just wanted a better look at that horse trailer. Sorry, honey.”

    Don’t Take It Literally

    | UT, USA | Siblings

    (My family had spent the whole day in the car to pick up new furniture. It was nearing the end of the day.)

    Brother: “I am literally starving to death.”

    Me: “You’re using ‘literally’ wrong.”

    Brother: “I literally don’t care.”

    She Will Never Join You

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My mother, grandparents, uncle, cousin, and I are travelling from San Francisco to Los Angeles via car. We arrive at Hollywood and are driving down the Hollywood Boulevard.)

    Mom: “I can’t believe that Hollywood Boulevard looks this plain. It can’t be true!”

    Me: “Search your feelings; you know it to be true.”

    Mom: *fake panic* “Nooooooo!”

    Me: *squeaks happily* “You followed up! I didn’t actually think you would follow up!”

    Mom: “What? Follow up on what?”

    Me: “…I made a Star Wars reference.”

    Mom: “Oh. I didn’t know that. It seems I followed you up by accident.”

    Me: “…”

    (The disappointment I felt cannot be put into words.)


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