(My sister and I are heading home. We swing through a drive-thru fast food place so she can grab some dinner. She has her fries on the bench seat between us, and is driving with one hand.)

Sister: “Hey, can you fish out one of the ketchups from the glove box?”

Me: “Sure!”

Sister: “Okay, your job is to ketchup me!”

(For the rest of the ride, she holds up a fry, and I apply ketchup.)

(I am driving with my grandmother. She spots a sign for ‘The Habit’, a burger joint)

Grandmother: “Oh! I wonder where that is.”

Me: “It looks like it’s right there.”

(I point in the general direction.)

Grandmother: “Oh! There’s The Hobbit!”

Me: “Its Habit, not Hobbit.”

Grandmother: “Oh, so it’s not the movie?”

(I drive my nine-year-old son to and from his special needs school every weekday, which is about one hour from our house. The traffic can be quite heavy, but he is usually too busy with his Nintendo to notice. On this particular drive, the driver in the next lane dives into mine. It appears he will hit my car.)

Me: *gasps*

(I hit the breaks and horn.)

Son: “Road hog! You tell ‘em, mommy! Honk your horn!”

(His special school? It’s for speech therapy. I guess it’s working!)

(My sister, her daughter and I are sitting in my sister’s car. We want to go for a walk in the park, and we’re waiting for my sister’s husband to bring the dog from her garden.)

Daughter: “Why aren’t we going? What are we waiting for?”

Mother: “Don’t you think there’s someone missing?”

Daughter: “No?”

Mother: “Can’t you guess? He’s very small.”

Daughter: “Uh…”

Mother: “He’s also really, really hairy, and when he gets wet he smells like wet dog.”

Daughter: *slaps her forehead* “Of course! It’s Dad!”

(My family and I are in the middle of a full day car trip. I’m 13, and my sister is 11. She is in charge of the snacks. After carefully choosing the largest cinnamon roll, she hands the bag over to me.)

Sister: “Here, take the bag so you can choose the second biggest one.”

Me: “Nah, just give me one.”

Sister: *gasps* “[My name]! You’ve become a grown-up!”