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    Seems To Be Blowing This Sky High

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces

    (My nephew is going through a phase. We are helping my mom run errands.)

    Me: “Oh, look at Grammy! She’s walking really well without a cane now.”

    Nephew: “No, you’re wrong.”

    Me: “No, really, look. No cane.”

    Nephew: “Nope. She uses a cane.”

    Me: “Look, she does not have the cane WITH her.” *I point to show him*

    Nephew: “Oh… well, I thought you said she did have a cane. It’s because you don’t talk clearly.”

    Me: “My enunciation is fine. It’s something I’ve noticed with you recently; you don’t even listen to me and you just say I’m wrong. I could tell you the sky is blue and you would say it was wrong because you didn’t listen. It makes me sad because I think that you don’t care about what I say.”

    Nephew: “Oh, well, sometimes my brain is too full and it deletes some words.”

    Me: “Well, we should work on that.”

    Nephew: “Besides, the sky isn’t blue. It’s light blue.”

    Reading You Your Rights

    | Thurmont, MD, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (I am five years old. My parents, my little brother, and I are on our way home after a day out.)

    Me: “I’m hungry! Mom, can stop somewhere?”

    Mom: “No, [My Name]. Besides, there isn’t anywhere out here to eat!”

    Me: “Yes, there is! That sign says ‘restaurant!’”

    Mom: “The jig is up! The kid can read!”

    Very Ferry Lost

    | Calais, France | Aunts & Uncles, Parents & Guardians

    (My family is travelling to France on holiday, where we’ll be staying in my uncle’s villa. We have all just disembarked the ferry and we’re in two separate cars. My dad is talking to my uncle on the phone.)

    Dad: “So, you know where we’re going, right?”

    Uncle: “Yep, just follow me.”

    (My dad hangs up the phone and we watch as my uncle drives straight down the heavy vehicle lane which leads back onto the ferry.)

    Dad: *to our car* “We might have to put ourselves in charge of navigating.”

    Not All Candy Is Sweet

    | Southend-On-Sea, England, UK |

    Mum: “Don’t you keep mints in the car?”

    Me: “No, I don’t keep candy in the car. The only type of candy in here right now is me: eye candy.”

    Right Next To The Chocolate Cows

    | Milledgeville, GA, USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces

    (My brother, my nephew, and I are on a short road trip. I spot a farm, which I point out to my nephew.)

    Me: “Hey, look! Cows. It’s a cow farm. It has the milk-towers and everything.”

    Brother: “It’s called a dairy.”

    Nephew: “A dairy. Then there is lactose in those towers.”

    Me: “… Yeah.”

    Nephew: “Except that maybe those are the lactose-free cows that make lactose-free milk.”


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