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    Ghandi: The Warlord Wizard

    | USA | Grandparents

    Grandmother: “So what did you learn in school today?”

    Me: “We watched a movie about Gandhi in history class.”

    Grandmother: “Gandhi? Wasn’t he that warlord in Night at the Museum?”

    Me: “…that’s Genghis Khan.”

    Grandmother: “Oh…”

    Me: “They’re not even remotely alike! How do you even get those two mixed up?”

    Grandmother: “They both start with ‘G’ and were in movies?”

    Me: “So was Gandalf, but you don’t see anyone confusing them!”

    Just Bowsing Through The Characters

    | New Orleans, LA, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My mother and I are driving down to pick up my sister. There is a truck in front of us with a fairly large sticker or magnet on the back.)

    Mom: “Is that a Pokémon on the back of that truck?”

    Me: *looks over at it* “No, mom, that’s Bowser.”

    Mom: “…”

    Me: “From Mario? Kidnaps Princess Peach?”

    Mom: “Well, I knew it was somebody.”

    A Different Kind Of Car Troubles

    | Princeton, NJ, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My mother was driving to my new apartment. Since it is new, she doesn’t really know where it is.)

    Mom: “Where is it?”

    Me: “It’s right there.”

    (Ten seconds pass.)

    Dad: “Maybe you should turn around and try again?”

    Me: “You passed it!”

    Mom: “What? But I was looking for the Lexus!”

    Us: “You’re driving the Lexus!”

    Devouring The Language

    | USA | Parents & Guardians

    (During a long car trip my mom lets me plug in my mp3 player so we can listen to my music for a change. We’re listening to a song by a popular German metal band. My mom doesn’t understand a word of German.)

    Mom: “I wish I could understand what this song is about.”

    Me: “It’s a true story about a cannibal that puts out an ad asking for someone that he can dismember and eat.”

    Mom: “I wish I could go back to not understanding what this song is about.”

    Forgot Your Words But They Remember

    | VA, USA | Children, Grandchildren

    (I get my three-year-old grandson strapped into his car seat in the back of my truck and go to get in the driver side. Just as I close my door, I remember that I forgot something inside the house. It’s been one of those days so when I realize I forgot it, I mumbled:)

    Me: “S***!”

    Grandson: “What did you forget?”


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