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    The Stairway To Adolescence

    | Finland | Sons & Daughters, Spouses & Partners

    (I have just said something that my daughter considers embarrassing.)

    Daughter: “Ugh, mom! You are so embarrassing!”

    Me: *to Husband* “Yep, we have reached THAT age.”

    Daughter: “Well, only when you’re talking…”

    Me: “[Daughter], you might want to start digging stairs.”

    Magic Mike: Extra Extra Gross

    | TN, USA | Siblings

    (My sister, mom, and I have finished watching the new ‘Magic Mike XXL’ movie and we are in the car. We are discussing some of our favorite scenes when my sister brings up:)

    Sister: “Could you imagine dad dancing like that to mom?”

    Me: “We are all still related. Please stop. Why did you bring that up?”

    Mom: “Just chuckling.”

    Sister: “Well, can you picture your husband dancing like that?”

    Me: “No, definitely not. But still don’t bring up Dad. That is just too weird.”

    Mom: “I wouldn’t mind if he did.”

    Me and Sister: “Eww!”

    Wrong Way, Wrong Animal

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Siblings

    (My sister is driving me home at night when she almost takes a wrong turn.)

    Me: “Meow! Meow! Meow! Reow!”

    Sister: “I get it, wrong way, but what the heck are you doing!?

    Me: “That’s how Gary the snail talks… The kids watch a LOT of SpongeBob.”

    Will Build On Those Nicknames When He’s Older

    | Winston-Salem, NC, USA | Cousins

    (My uncle and little cousins are in town, visiting from the west coast. We’re driving through downtown. The tallest building in the skyline is known by some unflattering nicknames due to being white and rounded at the top, and sometimes illuminated by red-tinted lights at night.)

    Cousin: “Hey, I know what that building looks like!”

    (My dad is trying not to laugh, and my uncle has turned white as a sheet.)

    Cousin: “Yeah, it looks like a big stick of deodorant!” *points at another building, with a sharp angled roof* “And that one’s a shaving razor!”

    Good Sight Is A Whole New Animal

    | Canada | Parents & Guardians

    (I am five, and about to get new glasses.)

    Me: “Oh, mom! Look at those dogs!”

    Mom: “Honey, when we come back those will be cows.”

    Dovetailing On An Explanation

    | PA, USA | Siblings

    (My sister is driving. We stop at a red light near a sign for a restaurant with loopy cursive writing and a pig with a frying pan.)

    Me: “Oh, Famous Dave’s BBQ. For a second I thought that said “Famous Doves” but that name didn’t make any sense for a pork place.”

    Sister: *teasing me*: “Yes, it does. They served BBQed doves. They’re delicious.”

    Me: “Right.”

    Sister: “They’re burnt offerings. Burnt peace offerings!”

    Me: *laughing* “That’s so wrong.”

    Sister: “Hey, if you’re going to misread signs, I’m going to run with it until I create an explanation that makes sense.”

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