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    I Know I’m Wrong But I’m Not Sorry

    | TN, USA | Siblings, Spouses & Partners

    Dad: “Listen, boys. The six most important words to know when your married are ‘I know, I’m wrong, and I’m sorry/'”

    Mom: “That’s right!”

    Me: “Or: ‘woman make some room now!'”

    Brother: “Dude, that’s only five words.”

    Me: “It is? One two three four five. Oh, it is. How about ‘Woman go make some food now!'”

    Mom: “Give me your phone.”

    Me: “I was kidding!”

    Mom: “Don’t talk until we get to the hotel.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Trident And Try Again

    | Manchester, England, UK | Children, Siblings

    (I am travelling in the car with my parents and little brother who is age three. We are discussing what to get as a gift for my grandmother’s birthday.)

    Little Brother: “Get her a devil stick!”

    Rest Of The Family: “A devil stick?! What’s that?!”

    (After questioning him, we establish that he means a trident. I have no idea why he thought a trident would be a good gift for an elderly lady.)

    As Long As It’s Not ‘Avada Kedavra’

    | OH, USA | Grandchildren

    (I’ve been reinforcing manners with my grandsons. One day, the older one offers his brother the dry-erase board:)

    Older Grandson: “What’s the magic word?”

    Younger Grandson: “Abracadabra?”

    Totalled Distraction

    | USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My mother has always been a scary driver and it has only gotten worse as she gets older. I am about 12, riding in the passenger front seat. We are approaching a green light that turns yellow, then red, my mom does not slow down. We get way too close to the white line and I start to freak out.)

    Me: “MOM! STOP!”

    (She hits the brakes and we screech to a halt half in the intersection. I stare wide eyed at her not able to even ask.)

    Mom: “I was distracted by the pretty lights.”

    Me: “You mean the stop light?”

    Mom: “Yeah!”

    Not Seeing Red Over Not Seeing Red

    | NY, USA | Grandparents

    (I am out driving with my grandmother and my cousin. My grandma is driving, while my cousin and I are in the back seat. We come to a red light and my grandma doesn’t brake or even look to see if anyone is coming, speeding right through it. My cousin and I look at each other, horrified and concerned.)

    Me: “Uh… grandma?”

    Grandma: “Yes?”

    Me: “That was a red light.”

    Grandma: *happy as a clam* “Oh, was it?”

    (We didn’t drive with her much after that.)

    Can’t Slot It In The (Generation) Gap

    | Ofallon, MO, USA | Sons & Daughters

    (My 15-year-old son and I have just purchased a cassette adapter that plugs into a smartphone and plays music through your car’s speaker via the cassette deck. He plugs it into his phone, then goes to put the cassette in.)

    Son: *holding the cassette horizontally to the tape slot* “How the h*** are you supposed to put this thing in?”

    Me: *taking the cassette and turning it vertically* “It goes in this way.”

    Son: *sheepishly* “Oh.”

    Me: “You just proved which generation you belong to.”

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