(I’ve always been a very calm person, even at thirteen. I am making waffles, when the toaster catches on fire. I put out the fire go into the living room where my uncle is sitting on the couch.)

Me: *holding my breakfast* “The kitchen was on fire.”

Uncle: *not paying attention* “Uh-huh.”

Me: *shrug* “Okay.” *goes into room to eat food*

(Two minutes pass, and my uncle come bursting in the room, looking panicked.)

Uncle: *shouting* “Why didn’t you tell me the kitchen was on fire!? I nearly choked on the smoke!”

Me: “But I did.”

Uncle: “You said it too calm. I thought you were joking!”

Me: “Did you want me to run around in circles or something?”

Uncle: “Yes!”