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    Snap Dance

    | Zealand, The Netherlands | Siblings

    (It’s been very humid all day, and my brother and I suffer from asthma. We’re discussing the chances of having a thunderstorm, so our breathing will improve.)

    Me: “I wish it’d rain and storm. I can’t breath anymore. It’s like breathing soup.”

    Brother: “Really thick soup.”

    Me: “Yes!”

    Brother:” I know how I can help. I’m going to do a rain dance!”

    (He steps outside of our tent, and is jumps up and down whilst waving his arms. Suddenly, out of nowhere, lightning strikes and the thunder is huge!)

    Brother:*whilst jumping inside the tent* “Whoops… I think I did the wrong dance.”

    Remotely Insulting

    | NY, USA | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (My dad recently bought me a jumbo universal TV remote as a gift. I’ve become quite attached to it and enjoy using it whenever I can. My mom finds my attachment to it stupid.)

    Mom: “Can you turn on the TV for me? The remote over here just died.”

    Me: “Ooh okay!” *runs off to go get the remote*

    Mom: *shouting* “The power button is right behind you!”

    Me: *comes back and turns on the TV* “So? I like using this one.” *hugs jumbo remote*

    Mom: “I hate that stupid thing.”

    Me: *gasps* “Don’t insult my baby!”

    Mom: “I’ll insult it whenever I want.” *tries to change the channel and realizes her remote is still dead*

    Me: *beams*

    Mom: “…May I borrow your stupid baby for a while?”

    Replace It With A Bra(ss) Door Knocker

    | TX, USA | Parents & Guardians, Spouses & Partners, Theme Of The Month

    (Due to the job market, my wife and I move into her parent’s rent house, that sits next to their home. As such, they are frequent visitors. My wife hates to wear bras at home so she typically takes it off as soon as she arrives and puts it back on when she leaves.)

    Wife: “Hey Mom, come on in.”

    Mom: *upon entering and seeing the bra hanging from the doorknob* “Oh, door knockers!”

    All Aboard!

    September Themed Story Giveaway: Ah, Parents!

    | Not Always Related | Announcements, Theme Of The Month
    Want to win A Not Always Related t-shirt?
    Enter September’s Themed Story Giveaway: Ah, Parents!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about your parent(s) or guardian(s).
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt!

    PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning August’s Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Family Reunions. The winning submission: Family Re-Ew-nion, Part 2 (220 thumbs up).

    Music To Her Fears

    | New Zealand, USA | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I’m planning my musical theatre themed 21st birthday, and have just been organising the music. I love musicals and as such my parents have been very heavily exposed to them for the past 15 years.)

    Me: “So, earlier in the night we can play the first playlist which has all songs from musicals that I love, but aren’t really that good for dancing. After the speeches we can switch to the other playlist which has more modern, upbeat musicals and some pop music.”

    Mum: “That’s nice, what musicals do you have then?”

    Me: “Well the first playlist has sings from The Lion King, Les Mis, Hairspray, Singin’ in the Rain…”

    Mum: *interrupting and horrified* What?! You can’t put that in! That’s disgusting, why would you put in such a violent musical?”

    Me: “What? Which are you talking about?”

    Mum:Singin’ in the Rain. That’s the one where the man rapes and kills people.”

    Me: “What? No! Singin’ in the Rain is about the change from silent movies to talkies…”

    Mum: “No, he sings ‘singin’ in the rain’ while he’s beating people up in their home and it’s disgusting!” *singing* “I’m singin’ in the rain, kick, kick!”

    Me: “Are you confusing the musical Singin’ in the Rain with the film A Clockwork Orange?”

    Mum: “They’re the same thing.”

    Me: “No, they really aren’t…”


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