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  • A Waxing Family Dynamic
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  • October's Theme Of The Month: Babysitting Blunders!
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    Gives New Meaning To Dynamic Duo

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, LGTBQ, Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My seven-year-old brother, my father, my father’s girlfriend, and I are all in the car. The topic of sexism, racism, and homophobia in superhero comics comes up in conversation.)

    Me: “I love comics, but it sucks that there are so few gay heroes mainstream. The Green Lantern is pretty much the only one.”

    Dad’s Girlfriend: “Wasn’t he different in the movie?”

    Me: “Yeah, they played him as hetero to get more customers.”

    Dad’s Girlfriend: Yeah, the mainstream media is like that, huh?”

    Me: “It’s played up in the comics, but down in the movie—still, it’s surprising that there’s a gay superhero at all.”

    Brother: “The Green Lantern isn’t the only one.”

    Me: “Wait, who else?”

    Brother: “There’s always Batman and Robin.”

    Back Seat Dialer

    | CA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (My car needs to be taken to the dealer for some repairs. My mom has some errands to do, and I’m not sure where the dealer is. We decide that I will follow her to the dealer, and then go with her while she runs her errands. Not even half way there, my mother blows through a yellow light and leaves me behind. I call her cellphone.)

    Mom: “Hello?”

    Me: “Mom, what the heck? Why did you do that?”

    Mom: “What are you talking about?”

    Me: “You left me behind at a light!”

    Mom: “Wait, where are you?!”

    Me: “In my car!”

    Mom: “Oh, I forgot you were following me. For a second I thought you were here in the car and calling me from the back seat.”

    Me: “Are you serious?!”

    Crafting The Perfect Response

    | CA, USA | Siblings, Theme Of The Month

    (My family and I are on a road trip. My younger brother is sitting directly behind me, playing Minecraft. He is narrating his every move in the game aloud to all of us. My parents are usually very strict on refusing to let us fight and tease one another, but even they are just about at their wits’ end with the game narration.)

    Brother: “Again!? There’s a stupid brainless zombie behind me!”

    Me: “Oh, what a coincidence! There’s one behind me, too!”

    (I didn’t hear another word about Minecraft for the rest of the drive; my parents never said anything about it either.)

    Waffling On All Night Long

    | NY, USA | Siblings, Theme Of The Month

    (My sister and I share a room. It is two in the morning, and I am almost asleep. My sister is still wide awake, and is tugging at my sheets.)

    Me: “What do you want?”

    Sister: “I want waffles.”

    Me: “I’m sleeping.”

    (She continues tugging at my sheets. I grunt and roll over.)

    Sister: “Waffles.”

    Me: “God help your boyfriend one day.”

    Dreams Crumbling Away

    | ME, USA | In-Laws, Siblings, Spouses & Partners, Theme Of The Month

    (My sister, brother-in-law, and I are driving home at night.)

    Me: “When I walked into your house this morning, the TV caught my eye.”

    Brother-In-Law: “What was on?”

    Me:Sesame Street. Cookie Monster wanted to get in to the Cookie Connoisseur Club.”

    Brother-In-Law: “Oh, and he wasn’t following the rules; he got kicked out!”

    Me: “Yeah. I felt so sad for him. He finally found a place where people understand him, but they wouldn’t let him stay.”

    Brother-In-Law: “He couldn’t follow the rules. Rules are important in places like that.”

    Me: “I know; it was just sad. He finally found the one place he’d been looking for his whole life, and they couldn’t even accept him.”

    Brother-In-Law: “It’s not like the rules were that hard to follow. He wasn’t asked to run a marathon and climb a mountain before eating the cookies. He just had to look, sniff, and taste. If those rules were too hard, then maybe he didn’t belong there.”

    Me: “Well, that just makes things even more sad. He thought he found where he belonged; it turned out he didn’t fit in there either.”

    Sister: “Do you guys realize that you’re having a serious conversation about Cookie Monster. A puppet on a children’s show?”

    Me: “He just wanted to eat cookies with people who understand him! Isn’t that what we all want?”

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