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    He’s Been Dealt With

    | OH, USA | Friends, Siblings, Theme Of The Month

    (My brothers and I are playing poker with a friend of ours. It is my older brother’s turn to deal, but he gets distracted and ends up handing out an uneven number of cards to everyone.)

    Older Brother: “How many cards do you have?”

    Me: “I’ve only got six.”

    Younger Brother: “Seven.”

    Friend: “Eight.”

    Me: “You can’t math!”

    (Long pause.)

    Older Brother: “Yeah? Well you can’t ENGLISH!”

    Can Be Found On Page 42

    | Wellington, New Zealand | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (My son is sitting on the sofa, reading a book.)

    Son: “Mum, I found the meaning of life!”

    Me: “Oh, really? What is it?”

    Son: “It’s right here!”

    (He walks over to me, shows me the dictionary, and points to the word ‘life’.)

    Rhymes With Witch

    | Denver, CO, USA | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters, Theme Of The Month

    (My mother and my 13-year-old brother are sitting outside our house blowing bubbles for me when I am fairly young. One particular bubble catches a breeze in just the right way that it happens to float slowly in a spiral. It’s similar to the bubble that Glinda the Good Witch appears from in the Wizard of Oz.)

    Mom: “Are you a good witch… or a bad witch?”

    Brother: “Depends on what time of the month it is.”

    (Luckily, it wasn’t the wrong time of the month, and our mom thought it was hysterical!)

    Cleaning Up Her Act

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Children, Sons & Daughters, Theme Of The Month

    (My daughter is three years old, and she’s all trouble. I’m relaxing watching some TV when she comes into the room with a devilish grin that she’s perfected.)

    Daughter: “Open my lollipop for me.”

    (I do, and then she tries to hand me the wrapper because she will do anything to avoid cleaning up in any way.)

    Me: “Go throw it in the garbage.”

    Daughter: “No, I want you to have it.”

    Me: *sighs* “Just go throw it in the garbage please.”

    Daughter: “But I want to keep it. Please, let me keep it?”

    (She places wrapper on the nightstand and walks away. I’m shaking my head at her determination. She walks back into the room two minutes later trying to hand me the lollipop; the scene repeats.)

    Daughter: “I don’t want any more.”

    Me: “Then throw it in the garbage.”

    Daughter: “It’s okay, you can have it.”

    Me: “No, I don’t want it. Go throw it away.”

    (I refuse to take it and she leaves the room. A couple minutes later, my husband walks in with the lollipop in his mouth.)

    Husband: *beaming smile* “Look what she gave me.”

    True Equality

    | Rockford, IL, USA | Cousins, Grandparents, LGTBQ

    (My grandma has just found out that my cousin is gay.)

    Grandma: “I can hate a girl she brings home just as much as I can hate a guy she brings home!”

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