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    Barking Up The Wrong Family Tree

    | IL, USA | Cousins, Parents & Guardians

    (I am browsing Facebook, when I notice that my cousin’s fiancée has posted some pictures related to their upcoming wedding, one of which is a customized bottle of wine they’re going to use.)

    Me: “Hey mom look at this!”

    Mom: “…what are those, raccoons?!”

    Me: “What? No! That’s [cousin] and his fiancée and their two dogs!”

    Mom: “Oh! I need new glasses… don’t tell your aunt about this.”

    Don’t Wipe A Gift-Booger In The Nose

    | India | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (I am playing around with my eight-year-old daughter, and playfully grab her nose.)

    Daughter: “You got boogers on your fingers!”

    (I wipe my fingers on her sleeve.)

    Daughter: “MOM! Dad’s wiping his boogers on my sleeve!”

    Me: “Hey, they are yours.”

    Daughter: “No… I gave them to you. Now they are yours.”

    Worst Smoothie Ever

    | Essex, England, UK | Parents & Guardians

    (My father and I are sitting in the living room. I have just entered a competition online to win something called a Nutri-Juicer. We have not been talking up until this point.)

    Me: “I just entered a competition to win a Nutri-Juicer.”

    Dad: “…what’s a newt reducer?”

    Lost In Your Rock And Roll


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    August Themed Story Giveaway: Pets & Animals!

    Not Always Related | Announcements, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month
    Want to win A Not Always Related t-shirt?
    Enter August’s Themed Story Giveaway: Pets & Animals!

    Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

    1. Submit a funny or interesting story about family pets & animals.
    2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
    3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Related shop!

    PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning July’s Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Family Vacations. The winning submission: If It Doesn’t Brake, Don’t Fix It (521 thumbs up).

    PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, September 4!

    In Need Of Valium

    | VA, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (I am eight years old. My mom and I are shopping, and we pass the drug store.)

    Mom: “I need to go there.”

    Me: “Mommy, no, I’m tired! I wanna go home; let’s go home!”

    Mom: “No. It’ll be quick.”

    (Mom pulls me into the drug store.)

    Me: “Why do we have to go here? It’s a bad place!”

    Mom: “Oh, really? Why do you say that.”

    Me: “Yeah, it’s called a drug store, and I heard that drugs are bad! On TV!”

    Mom: “Uh huh.”

    Me: *to other customers* “DRUGGIES! You’re bad people! Drugs are BAD—”

    (My mom hustles me out of there and never takes me back!)


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