Her Cheese Stick Is Too Mature

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

(I’m fourteen and up late because I’m finishing an assignment for school the next day. Mum’s watching TV, eating a cheese-stick. She is watching ‘Queer as Folk’. I’m walking up the hallway to get to the kitchen for a drink; it shares a space with the living area.)

Mum:*flails* “No! Stop! You can’t come in here! It’s not suitable!”

Me:“What? Why not?”

(I realise that there’s a lot of grunting and moaning and wet slapping coming from the TV. I wait by bathroom until I get the all clear.)

Mum:*looking comically scandalised* “Okay, you can come in now.”

Me:“How was it?”

Mum:*mournfully, looking down at her snack* “I don’t really know, but it’s put me off my cheese-stick.”

Special Dad

Their Jokes Jar Jar Stinks

| Bristol, England, UK | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters, Theme Of The Month

(My dad and I are watching the end of the ‘Star Wars: Clone Wars’ cartoon. I’ve only just walked in and don’t really know what’s going on, but Anakin and Padme are being obviously romantic. My dad has a habit of saying ‘She’s your girlfriend. You like her’, when TV shows are over the top romantic.)

Dad: “Your girlfriend, she is.”

Me: *without missing a beat* “Like her, you do.”

Dad: “I taught you well, young padawan.”

Only Eats Fast Food

| Canada | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

(We’re having dinner.)

Brother: “Dad, have you ever tasted snails?”

Dad: “Oh, no. I don’t eat anything that moves at less than 10 km/h.”

Matching Shirts

Puns Will Be Assimilated

| ID, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings, Sons & Daughters, Theme Of The Month

(My mom has brought her sewing machine out to repair some clothes. My brother is getting into learning how things work.)

Brother: “How does the sewing machine pedal work?”

Me: “It has a potentiometer in it. It adjusts resistance to change the flow of electricity.”

Brother: “Resistance?”

Me: “Yeah. It’s futile.”

Mom: “No, it’s foot-ile!”

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