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    He Mexican’t Read The Map

    | Boone, NC, USA | Grandparents

    (Most of my family is up at my grandparent’s house, having dinner. We all love to travel and my grandparents often plan big family trips, which is what we’re discussing.)

    Grandma: “So, I was thinking about Christmas. How does Baja in Mexico sound?”

    Me: “Baja California, or Baja California Sur?”

    (Those are the two Mexican states that make up the rather large Baja peninsula.)

    Dad: “She said Mexico, not California! What the hell? I thought you were good at geography!”

    (We ended up going to Key Largo.)

    Brother For Sale!


    Chicken Is The Center Of The Community

    | Rescue, CA, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (I am 15 years old. My father is mostly deaf, but he usually can interpret what people are saying by reading their lips and/or extrapolating from the bits that he is able to understand.)

    Me: “Hey, Dad, can you give me a ride to the community center?”

    Dad: “We’re having chicken.”

    Me: “O…kay, thanks.”

    Sick Of Laughing

    | Canada | Aunts & Uncles, Parents & Guardians

    (My dad and aunt are siblings and often joke around. I have also inherited a disease from my aunt.)

    Aunt: “Don’t worry; you inherited it from me. It’s better than inheriting the crazy from your dad.”

    Dad: “Don’t worry; even though you have the disease you still have a future.”

    Uncle: “Always have the last laugh, huh?”

    Dad: “Yup.”

    He Did It


    She Didn’t Get The Message

    | CA, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My dad has a tendency to just call my cell phone if he’s downstairs and I’m in my room. He also tends to call three or four times if he doesn’t get an answer. One morning due to a combination of putting in a contact lens and Dad not wanting to get a recording, he calls three times after which point I just go to the landing and explain what happened, which he accepts. My stepmother, who was in earshot, apparently does not.)

    Stepmother: “If you knew your dad called, you should have called back.”

    Me: “I know Dad usually calls multiple times, so I didn’t want to call him and confuse the phones.”

    Stepmother: “Yes, but after three times you should have called back!”

    Me: “After three times I was worried something was going on with the phones and asked what was going on in person!”

    Stepmother: *in a tone that clearly indicates she still thinks I did something wrong* “Well, good for you.”

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