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    Not Very Quick On The Draw

    | UK | Children, Siblings

    (My 13-year-old brother likes to play on the Wii, and my nine-year-old sister likes to draw.)

    Sister: “Give me something to draw!”

    Brother: “What like?”

    Sister: “Anything!”

    Brother: “Er… draw my Mii!”

    Sister: “You?”

    Brother: “No, my Mii!”

    Sister: “So, you?”

    Brother: “No, my Mii, with two ‘I’s!”

    Sister: “You have two eyes!”

    Brother: “Oh, never mind…”

    Quite Gene-ial On The Subject

    | Scotland, UK | Children, Siblings

    (I’m chatting with my nine-year-old sister. I’m 15.)

    Sister: “Where do babies come from?”

    (I’ve just been learning about mitosis and meiosis at school, so I think I can probably baffle her with fancy words.)

    Me: “Well, there’s a process called meiosis, where the genetic material from the mummy and daddy merge together to make a zygote—”

    Sister: “Yes, but how do the daddy genes and the mummy genes actually join?”

    Me: “I’m just explaining that! It uses enzymes to get inside the bit where the mummy genes are protected—”

    Sister: “Yes, but how do the daddy genes get to the mummy genes in the first place?!”

    Me: “They swim to the mummy genes.”

    Sister: “But how do the daddy genes get inside the mummy?”

    Me: “I… don’t know.”

    Sister: “Oh, well. I’ll ask mum.”

    Me: “… You do that.”

    You Think They’d Be Sick Of It

    | Kaitaia, New Zealand | Cousins

    (I am staying at my uncle’s house for my grandmother’s funeral. My dad’s cousin arrives.)

    Me: *to my cousins* “Gosh, I haven’t seen [Dad's Cousin] since your mum’s 21st when I vomited into my dessert bowl at the dinner table!”

    (Dad’s cousin sees me.)

    Dad’s Cousin: “Hey, [My Name]! I haven’t seen you since you vomited into your plate at the dinner table!”

    Supportive Mothers

    | NY, USA | Children, Friends, Parents & Guardians

    (I’m in college. My family is at a friend’s house. I babysit our friend’s older daughter, and have met their newborn before. My family is meeting her for the first time.)

    Friend: *to my mom* “Would you like to hold [Newborn]?”

    Mom: “Oh, sure!”

    (My mom takes a second to adjust the baby’s position and I chime in.)

    Me: “Be careful! Support her head and neck!”

    Mom: *giving me a look* “You do realize I’ve done this before, right?”

    Me: “Oh. Yeah. But it’s been a long time! Maybe you needed to be reminded!”

    Don’t Worry About It For The Rest Of Your Days

    | PA, USA | Aunts & Uncles

    (My aunt and uncle don’t have kids, so they’ve been like second parents to me and my sister. I’m visiting the zoo with them today, and we’re looking at the meerkats. A Romanian family is nearby, the kids talking loudly and excitedly about the animals.)

    Aunt: “Well, it looks like we know what the Romanian word for ‘meerkat’ is: ‘Timon!’”

    (I stare at her for a moment, and then burst out laughing.)

    Aunt: “What?”

    Me: “You can tell [Sister] and I are grown up. You haven’t watched The Lion King in a while!”


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