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    What’s Cooking In That Brain Of His

    | Antwerp, Belgium | Children, Nephews & Nieces, Themed Giveaway

    (I’ve taken my nephew out for the day, and while we had a busy day he finally sat for a moment next to me, looking pleased with the world. I’m on the big side.)

    Nephew: “You know what? If I was at a deserted island, I would wish to be there with [Cousin] and you. [Cousin] because of the fun and the fact she is a nurse and you for cooking.”

    Me: “So, I’m no fun then?”

    Nephew: *slightly embarrassed* “Well, a bit for the love, too. But mainly for cooking. When we are out of food, you can heat the pan on the fire. When it is hot, [Cousin] and me will shove you in.”

    (I was a bit flabbergasted and he was sitting there looking very pleased with himself. He was most severely punished with a visit from the tickle monster.)

    Time To Assay The Essay Situation, Part 4

    | WA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My mom, sister, and I are in the car talking about all the homework we need to do over the weekend. My mom reminds my sister of an essay she needs to write.)

    Mom: “This is. like. the second time I’ve reminded you.”

    Sister: “It’s, like, the hundredth!”

    Me: “Those are two very different numbers…”

    Mom: “It’s somewhere between the two.”

    Sister: “No, it’s, like, the thousandth time!”

    Me: “You just multiplied your number by ten.”

    Mom: “Yet the essay is still not done…”

    Sister: “Mom! That’s, like, the millionth time you’ve told me!”

    Mom: “Yet it’s still not done…”

    Related:
    From Not Always Learning:
    Time To Assay The Essay Situation, Part 3
    Time To Assay The Essay Situation, Part 2
    Time To Assay The Essay Situation

    What The Truck?

    | USA | Siblings

    (I am with my sister on a road-trip with one of her friends. We’ve been on the road for more than 12 hours. My sister is driving and is getting very tired, so we decide to pull over to a rest stop to take a break. We approach a sign directing cars to go one way and trucks to go the other.)

    Sister: “Am I a car or a truck?”

    Me: “What?”

    Sister: *sleepy and panicked* “Am I a car or a truck? AM I A CAR OR A TRUCK!?”

    Me: “You’re a car.”

    (She ended up driving into the truck lot and parking there anyway. After a short nap, she was better.)

    Does Not Serviette Its Purpose

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Parents & Guardians

    (My mother, sister, and I go to see a play. We arrived just a few minutes before the lights went down, so by the time we got seated and our coats off, it is dark. I have a cold and forgot to bring tissues with me.)

    Me: “Does anyone have tissue?”

    Sister: “Nope.”

    (I hear mom rustling through purse.)

    Mom: “Here, hand this to your sister.”

    (Sister hands me a napkin.)

    Me: “Is this used? It’s dark and I can’t tell.”

    Mom: “It’s a serviette.”

    Me: “Yes, but is it used?”

    Sister: “Serviette just means it will be rougher on your nose.”

    Me: “Uh-huh, but has it been used? I’m already sick; I don’t need to pick up another bug.”

    Mom: “It’s just a napkin!”

    Me: “But is it used?!”

    Mom: “Oh… no, it’s fine.”

    Me: *looking really close at it* “There’s blood on here!” *throws it back at Mom*

    Mom: “Oh… Wait, I have another one here.”

    Me: “Is this one used?”

    Mom: “It’s a napkin.”

    Me: “Sigh…”

    The Ridicule Molecule

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Siblings, Themed Giveaway

    (My little brother likes to come up with creepy pickup lines and then test them on me. On a trip to the mall, I am followed around a brain games store by an employee who is a bit socially awkward, but still trying to flirt with me despite my efforts to get him away from me.)

    Brother: *after leaving the store, lurks over me whilst breathing heavily and waggling his eyebrows in an imitation of the employee* “I feel we have bonded on a sub-molecular level.”


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