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    Just Bowsing Through The Characters

    | New Orleans, LA, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My mother and I are driving down to pick up my sister. There is a truck in front of us with a fairly large sticker or magnet on the back.)

    Mom: “Is that a Pokémon on the back of that truck?”

    Me: *looks over at it* “No, mom, that’s Bowser.”

    Mom: “…”

    Me: “From Mario? Kidnaps Princess Peach?”

    Mom: “Well, I knew it was somebody.”

    Love Can Be Sickening

    | Australia | Siblings

    (My sister and I downright hated each other as kids, but in the years since I’ve moved very far away, we’ve started talking more. One I was having an emotional crisis and she offered a listening ear. This happens as the conversation is drawing to a close.)

    Sister: “Look, you know what you need to do. I’m sorry I have to go now, but I love you.”

    Me: “Blergh!”

    Sister: *laughs* “Bye bye!”

    (About an hour later, I’ve resolved a few things and I call her back to tell her.)

    Sister: “Hello?”

    Me: “I have news, but first of all… this is really hard for me, but… I love you, too. Egh! Yuck! I’m never saying that again.”

    Sister: *giggles* “Okay, what’s the news?”

    If You Get Sick You’ll Go Swim With The Fishes

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (Our two-year-old recently got two goldfish for her birthday. As fish do – one dies. This happens as her father is home on his lunch break and removing the fish from the tank.)

    Father: “Oh, no, darling! Look. One fish got sick.”

    Two-Year-Old: “FISH!”

    (Her father goes to flush the fish down the toilet and our two-year-old follows to watch. I can see bad things happening from the lack of explanation but am too busy to go explain further to our child. Later on when he comes home from work our daughter starts coughing.)

    Father: “Uh-oh, sounds like [Daughter] is getting sick!”

    Two-Year-Old: *with the most startled look on her face she looks towards the toilet* “FISH?!”

    Honk If You Want To Be Racist

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Cousins

    (I’m white, and I’m playing with my young cousin, who is black.)

    Me: *boops her nose* “Beep!”

    Cousin: *boops my nose* “Honk!”

    Me: “Beep!”

    Cousin: “Honk!” *giggles* “You call me ‘Beepy’ and I’ll call you ‘Honkey’!”

    Me: “…no, honey, that would a bad idea.”

    Don’t Burst Her Bubble

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (From my four-year-old daughter who is taking a bath:)

    Daughter: “Papa! My bottom makes bubbles!”

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