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    Young Children Are Full Of Spirit, Part 2

    | Kirksville, MO, USA | Children, Cousins

    (I am babysitting my cousin’s son, who is almost two years old. We are playing in a playhouse that has a plastic phone. He has just picked it up.)

    Me: “Who you gonna call?”

    Cousin’s Son: “Ghostbusters!”

    (His mom was super proud, but also has no idea where he picked that up!)

    Young Children Are Full Of Spirit

    It’s Breast To Let Mom Explain

    | Wilmington, NC, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (I’m abnormally gifted in the chest area. I’m also pregnant. My friend is trying to explain to her four-year-old son that I’m going to have a baby.)

    Friend: *pointing at my belly* “She has a baby in there. See how big her belly is getting?”

    Friend’s Son: *pointing at my chest* “Does she have baby in there, too?”

    The Least Pointless Job

    | England, UK | Aunts & Uncles

    (I have a great-uncle who is a well-known sword-master, and is the lead sword-master for several big movies, including ‘Lord of the Rings.’ My fiancé and I are watching the first movie together.)

    Me: “I think he was [Uncle's] best pupil, if I remember rightly.”

    Fiancé: *dubiously* “What… him?”

    Me: “Yeah. No, not the orc! Him!”

    Fiancé: “Oh, Aragorn!”

    Me: “Yeah. Well, not literally Aragorn. If he’d trained Aragorn, he would have had about 500 more awesome points than he already had.”

    Friday’s Child

    | MA, USA | Children, Siblings

    (One of my foster sisters has made me her daughter’s aunt, as we’ve stayed in touch and become close over the years. I sleep over her house and give my niece a bath before dressing her. Hours later, we’re driving.)

    Me: “Wow, it’s Friday, isn’t it?”

    Sister: “Uh, last time I checked.”

    Me: “Figures.”

    Sister: “Why?”

    Me: “Well, I was trying to choose underwear for [Niece], and grabbed a pair that said ‘Friday,’ but I couldn’t remember if it was Friday, so I grabbed a different pair after a mental debate on the likelihood of anyone noticing it’s the wrong day.”

    Sister: “Maybe it’s best you don’t have children.”

    Like Mother, Like Daughter

    , | MI, USA | Children, Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (I am female and 14 at the time. My parents are in their late forties. My mom is out of town and there is a guest pastor at my parents’ church. He is talking to my dad.)

    Pastor: “It’s lovely to meet you! And is this your wife?”

    Me: *weirded out* “Oh no, I’m the daughter. Mom’s out of town!”

    (We tell my mom and brothers afterward, share a few awkward chuckles, and think nothing more of it. My two brothers are 17 and 11 years old respectively. About a month later, the three of us are at a craft store in search of model paint.)

    Me: “Hey, while you guys find the colors, I’m going to go look at the cross-stitch stuff.”

    Older Brother: “Okay, we’ll find you when we’re done.”

    (A few minutes later, multiple aisles away, I am approached by an employee.)

    Employee: “Your sons are looking for you. Would you like me to show you where they are?”

    Me: *blinking in bewilderment* “Uh. Sure?”

    Employee: “Great! They’re right this way.”

    (The employee leads me to a different section of the store, where I see my brothers looking around as if somewhat lost. The employee presents me cheerfully to them, and walks away.)

    Me: “… so, apparently I gave birth before I existed! And again when I was three. To you guys. Go me?”

    (The only explanation we could ever come up with was that, being on the swim team at the time, I had a slightly silver tint to my hair due to chlorine. I think I would have preferred the classic green!)

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