Featured:
  • Poetry Getting A Frosty Reception
    (211 thumbs up)
  • July's Theme Of The Month: Stuck In The Car!

    Relatively Far Away


    funny-family-relatives-quotes

    His Window Of Opportunity

    | Tulalip, WA, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (My family often rely on me to look things up for them. My dad’s in the living room browsing the Internet while I’m in another room on the family computer he usually uses.)

    Dad: “Hey, when is Windows 10 coming out?”

    (I start to open a new tab, then think better of it.)

    Me: “You have a computer right in front of you.”

    Dad: “…Oh. I hadn’t thought of that.”

    A Knuckle Sandwich

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Nephews & Nieces, Siblings, Spouses & Partners

    (My wife and I have my family over and we are discussing how my young niece and nephew recently lost some teeth.)

    Wife: “Oh, [Niece], you’ve lost one of your teeth!”

    Niece: *big proud grin*

    My Brother: “Yeah, it happened not long ago. [Nephew] had one come out, too. I accidentally hit in him with my elbow and it dropped out.”

    Nephew: “Yeah, when my teeth come out, it’s always because of sandwiches or violence!

    Trash Available For A Steal

    | Indian Orchard, MA, USA | Sons & Daughters

    (We buy a new TV and are planning to discard the old one on the next trash day.)

    Me: “Let’s get that old TV out of the living room. We could put it out on the back deck.”

    Adult Son: “Someone might steal it.”

    Putting The Fun Into Funeral, Part 3

    | Prince George, BC, Canada | In-Laws, Siblings

    (My brother-in-law and I have an odd dynamic. It’s all in good fun, but we fight more with each other than we do with our real siblings. Everyone is in town for my grandpa’s funeral. The night before, my brother-in-law is teasing my mom about her age, as she is turning 50 in a week. When she goes to playfully swat him, he runs around the table to hide. I grab his sleeve to keep him from escaping. He manages to accidentally pull me over backwards, chair and all. I receive some minor injuries, the most impressive of which was a palm-sized bruise fairly high up on my inner thigh. This conversation is repeated with a few people the next day.)

    Relative: “So how is everyone?”

    Me: *rolls eyes exaggeratedly and points thumb at [Brother-In-Law]* “This bruiser shows up and not ten minutes later he’s wrecking the joint and beating people up.”

    Brother-In-Law: *turns nose up* “I did nothing! You fell off a chair!”

    Relative: “…What?”

    Me: “Oooh, let me show you my bruise!” *hikes skirt up high enough to show it off*

    Mom: *to other relatives after watching this exchange a couple of times* “This is why we don’t usually let them out in public.”

    Related:
    Putting The Fun Into Funeral, Part 2
    Putting The Fun Into Funeral

    It’s A Tradition


    Christmas past 2


    Page 107/869First...105106107108109...Last
    « Previous Page
    Next Page »