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    A Fish Out Of Agua

    | Puerto Rico | Parents & Guardians

    (We’re in Puerto Rico for the day on vacation. None of us speak Spanish, though my father fancies himself an expert because he read a ‘learn Spanish on your own’ book several years ago that focused on Castilian Spanish.)

    Father: *snootily* “They don’t speak proper Spanish here!”

    Mother: “He’s been here five minutes and he’s already telling the natives how to speak their language.”

    (A few hours later, we see a sign my sister is curious about.)

    Sister: “Hey, Dad, what does this sign say?”

    Father: “I don’t know.” *walks away*

    (He couldn’t even translate the first word: ‘agua,’ meaning water!)

    Top 5 Funniest Stories of February 2014

    | Not Always Related | Roundups

    February 2014 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Related’s top-rated stories last month!

    1. Lost In Relation (675 thumbs up)
    2. Not A Happy Meal (646 thumbs up)
    3. How To Make Macaroni Cheesy (633 thumbs up)
    4. Screwed Himself Over (609 thumbs up)
    5. Reality Needs To Step Aside (604 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    This Is Beneath One(sie)

    | Prince George, BC, Canada | Siblings

    (My brother loves one-piece footed pajamas, and has since he was a kid. The only reason he stopped wearing them was he could no longer find them in his size. Now that they’re back in style, he owns them again. At this particular time, my mom is washing, drying, and vacuum sealing all the bedding for the spare bed. This includes two blankets, a duvet, four pillows, and three sets of sheets. The spare bed is an air mattress that they inflate and toss on the floor in my old room.)

    Brother: *looks at pile of laundry* “You do realize how crazy this is, right? And this is coming from a fully grown man in a onesie.”

    Dog Has It’s Day Everyday

    | Enfield, CT, USA | Cousins, Pets & Animals

    (I’m staying with my cousin and her pitbull for the weekend. I see my cousin cutting up a large amount of chicken. She’s vegetarian, so naturally this arouses my curiosity.)

    Me: “What are you doing with all that chicken?”

    Cousin: “Making dog food.”

    Me: “… Why?”

    Cousin: “Because she’s allergic to canned dog food. And because I don’t have children. That, too.”

    Pushy About The Push-Ups

    | Edina, MN, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My mom and I are helping my little sister shop for her first bra, and she is very nervous. My mom has been more than a little pushy about things and my sister finally snaps.)

    Mom: “Does it… Does it feel good?”

    Sister: “Yes.”

    Mom: “Does it do what it’s supposed to?”

    Sister: “Let me put it this way: it supports the Minnesota twins.”

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