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    The Stark Reality Of Parenting

    | Kannapolis, NC, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (I’m playing one of my games on my Wii, when my four-year-old son asks if he can play ‘Iron Man.’ Being a good dad, I switch out the discs. Sure enough, a few minutes later he decides that he’s had enough (read: is stuck) and wants daddy to play.)

    Son: “Here, Daddy, you play Iron Man. I don’t want to play anymore.”

    Me: “Well, if Daddy’s going to play, can Daddy switch it back to his game?”

    Son: “No… I think you should play Iron Man.”

    Never Got To The End Of ‘Four Weddings’

    | Toulouse, France | Siblings

    (My 23-year-old sister is in my car as I’m driving her back to her place. We pass by a cemetery where a lot of people dressed in black are gathered.)

    Sister: “Oh, look! There’s a wedding going on!”

    Hope She’s Making It Up

    | Durban, South Africa | Parents & Guardians

    (My two younger siblings attend the same school of which I am a former student. My mum hands me some indemnity forms regarding the annual school camping trip.)

    Mum: “Here, you need to sign these.”

    Me: “Why don’t you or dad sign them? Are you trying to stick me with the legal responsibilities?”

    Mom: “No, we still sign it. You just count as a witness.”

    Me: “So who signed as a witness on my forms?”

    Mum: “Oh, we just made up a signature for yours.”

    Those Meddling Kids

    | UK | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (I’m two or three and have just got home from my childminder’s house.)

    Mum: “So, what did you do at [Childminder]‘s house today?”

    Me: “We watched Scooby Doo!”

    Dad: “Oh, [My Name], I think Scooby Doo is a terrible program!”

    (I pause.)

    Me: “Really? Because I think Scooby Doo is a dog.”

    Big Kid In Big Trouble

    | Kent, England, UK | Children, Cousins, Nephews & Nieces

    (Whilst at a family gathering, I walk into the living room and find my 26-year-old male cousin watching a popular toddler’s TV program with his four-year-old nephew.)

    Cousin: *turning red* “I’m not… it’s only on because of him!”

    Nephew: “No, it’s not. I don’t even like this show.”


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