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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    School Gang(nam) Getting Out Of Control

    | MD, USA | Siblings

    (My sister and I have just returned from prom. The theme was meant to be classy, but it seemed the school fell short.)

    Me: “Hey, bro, guess what our prom theme was?”

    Brother: *rolling his eyes* Give me a hint.”

    (I pull out my gift bag, which has a picture of a white suit on it, then start pulling out what’s inside: a regular drinking glass, a pair of shutter shades, and some Mardi Gras beads.)

    Brother: “Umm… Psy?”

    Me: *with a straight face* “007.”

    (Neither of us could control our laughter!)

    Crushed Her Understanding Of Crushes

    | USA | Siblings

    (My sister and I are talking about our school days. Despite being female, I tend to hang out with boys since they have similar hobbies and can be quite good friends.)

    Sister: “So, any good stuff happen to you today?”

    Me: “Well, I met a guy in one of my classes. He’s funny and smart, not to mention he’s just as obsessed with [Metal Band] as I am.”

    Sister: “Oh, my God! You two sound like such a cute couple!”

    Me: “What?! We’re not together! Dude, girls and guys can be friends.”

    Sister: “No, they can’t. If you say those things about him, you clearly like him.”

    Me: “If I crushed on everyone who was smart, funny, and liked my favorite bands, that would be a bit unreasonable.”

    Sister: “NO! YOU CAN’T BE FRIENDS!”

    (We’re still friends.)

    Waking Up Is A Scream

    | USA | Aunts & Uncles

    (My uncle fell asleep on the couch.)

    Uncle: *screams at the top of his lungs and then wakes up* “Oh, my god, did you hear that?!”

    Aunt: “Yeah! That was you!”

    A Barking Mad Excuse

    | England, UK | Aunts & Uncles

    (My auntie is an author and often gets phone calls from publishers about her work. I’m staying with her for a week. They have a dog, who has just had a rather large poop in the back garden, getting a lot of it into her fur under her tail. My auntie has taken the dog upstairs to clean her up when the phone rings.)

    Uncle: “Hello? Hold on one second ,please…”

    (He goes to speak to my auntie. I don’t hear what she says, but I see my uncle pick up the phone again.)

    Uncle: “Hi, yeah, could you call back in half an hour? She’s a bit busy ’cause our dog exploded… Okay, thanks.” *hangs up*

    Their Coolness Has Run Out Of Steam

    | CO, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    Son: “Tomorrow is character day for spirit week. I don’t know who to go as. My Thor costume’s too short, my Harry Potter robe’s really too short, and they won’t let me go as a ghoul.”

    Me: “I dunno, bud.”

    Son: “How about Indiana Jones as a professor?”

    Me: “You don’t have the jacket.”

    Son: “Or the Doctor?”

    Me: “How about wearing your Tardis bathrobe?”

    Son: “It’s character day, not comfy day…”

    Me: “I don’t know, then.”

    Son: “I got it. Steampunk butler.”

    Me: “That we can do.”

    (The morning of, I post a picture of him decked out in steampunk. Several of my friends say he looks great. When I pick him up from school, he’s not in costume.)

    Me: “What’s up? Where’s your costume?”

    Son: “No one knew what I was. No one had heard of steampunk. One kid called me a hobo.”

    (I post this; several friends respond with astonishment and incredulity. He’s obviously too cool for his classmates. Several days later, my own mother posts about her grandson’s costume.)

    My Mom’s Post: “Could or would someone please tell me what’s a Steampunk?”

    One Fine Day With A Woof And A Purr…

    | West Midlands, England, UK | Parents & Guardians

    (My mum is in the medical profession.)

    Mum: “One of my patient’s puppies just had kittens!”

    Me: “Think about what you just said…”

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