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    An Unorthodox Method Of Ignorance

    | New York, NY, USA | Grandparents, LGTBQ

    (Because it’s before Passover I’m helping my grandmother prepare the food. I’m lesbian, which my parents and most of my friends are okay with. However, the rest of my Orthodox Jewish family likes to pretend that it isn’t true.)

    Grandma: “How’s school going? Are you getting good grades? How are your teachers and your friends? Oh, and do you have a boyfriend yet?”

    Me: “Grandma, I’m gay.”

    Grandma: “Oh, don’t be silly. Is that your way of telling me that you have a boyfriend? I won’t tell. Is he hot?”

    Me: “GRANDMA! I told you, no boyfriends. I have a very nice girlfriend, thank you very much.”

    Grandma: “Of course you don’t. You’re a very smart young lady, and I won’t have that talk in my house.”

    Me: “Thanks, but being smart has nothing to do with being gay.”

    Grandma: *laughs condescendingly* “Now I’m not so sure you’re smart! But I want great-grandchildren, you hear?”

    (We keep arguing for a while. Finally, I decide to leave.)

    Me: “Grandma, I have to go. I have some homework to finish up.”

    Grandma: “Good girl! And remember: GRANDKIDS!”

    After The Terrible Twos Come The Flirty Threes

    | Mt. Juliet, TN, USA | Children, Nephews & Nieces

    (My mother and stepfather have my niece [8 months] and nephews [2½  and 5] one day and they want to go out to eat, so they take the kids to one of their favorite restaurants. While the older boy is playing with his little sister, the 2½-year-old is smitten with their waitress, a tall, pretty blonde girl in her late teens.)

    Waitress: “Oh, aren’t you just a little sweetie!”

    Nephew: “Thanks, and you’re a nice and pretty lady.”

    Waitress: “Why, thank you! I bet you say that to all the girls.”

    Nephew: “Nope, just you right now.”

    Mother: “Aw, [Nephew], are you flirting with her?”

    Nephew: “Yeah, Nana…”

    (The waitress is giggling the whole time she’s finishing their order and then heads over to the cook to put it in. When he asks what she’s laughing about, she tells him about my nephew. He gets a look of disbelief on his face.)

    Cook: *loud enough for the restaurant to hear* “Wow, little man thinks he knows what he’s talking about, huh? There’s no way he know what that means!”

    Mom: “Did you hear that? Tell him you know what flirting is!”

    Nephew: “Mind your own d*** business!”

    (The restaurant was silent for about three seconds before the whole place erupted in laughter. After they finish their meal and tip and are walking out, my nephew decides he’s not done…)

    Nephew: “Call me!”

    Older Nephew: “On what phone?! Nana’s never going to let you give out her number!”

    (They laughed again and told my mom and stepdad they’re welcome back with the kids at any time, as the kids were otherwise well behaved and they could use a laugh every now and again.)

    1992 Called, They Want Their Phone Back

    | CA, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (I am out shopping with my mom at a popular store.)

    Mom: “I need an old fashioned phone cord.”

    Me: “Old fashioned?”

    Mom: “Yeah, like for a landline. I may have to go to [Popular Electronics Store], though.”

    Me: “Yeah… or 1992.”

    Board Games Theme Of The Month Roundup

    | Not Always Related | Theme Of The Month

    Board Games Theme Of The Month Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s theme of the month!

    1. A Poker-Face Slap (316 thumbs up)
    2. Doing The Smaug Shuffle (355 thumbs up)
    3. This Game Has Gone To The Dogs (384 thumbs up)
    4. The Game Comes With Complimentary Back-Stabbing (273 thumbs up)
    5. A Fast Turtle (227 thumbs up)
    6. PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

      PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Needs A Smart Car

    | Carol Stream, IL, USA | Siblings

    (I’m at my twin sister’s house, and she’s about two months pregnant at this time. She picks me up to hang out at her place, where we are the only ones in the house.)

    Twin Sister: “Hey, I’m tired. Can you drive yourself home then send the car back?”


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