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  • November Theme Of The Month: Thanksgiving!

    The Daddy Of All Ice-Creams

    | Denver, CO, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (I am in bed snuggling my four year old son, trying to get him to fall asleep.)

    Me: “I love you so much. I love you more than ice-cream.”

    (He wiggled for a bit, thinking it over and then hugged me.)

    Son: “I love you more than ice-cream!” *he pauses and leans in closer* “Daddy is ice-cream.”

    Platy-Put Her In Her Place

    | Johannesburg, South Africa | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My family and I are sitting at the dinner table. There are four of us and we are having a conversation about super powers and whether or not we would get a pet if we were super heroes/villains when this happens. Years ago, my mom made history by having a two-hour argument about whether fish are animals, with my sister the vet.)

    Brother: “I would be a villain, but not have a pet. They’d leave fur all over my torture chambers!”

    Mom: “Well, I would be the superhero counterpart, like Harry the Porpoise Otter!”

    Me: “Who is Harry the Porpoise Otter?”

    (Several minutes pass with my mom saying he had ‘a tail thingy’ and making floppy movements with her hands.)

    Dad: “Perry the Platypus?!”

    Mom: “Yes!”

    Brother: “How on Earth, did Perry the Platypus turn into Harry the Porpoise Otter?!”

    Me: “This is another ‘Fish Aren’t Animals’ moment, isn’t it?”

    Half Price On Milk And Honey

    | Allentown, PA, USA | Grandparents

    (My grandmother and I see a man leaving the grocery store with a shirt that says “Gone to the Promised Land.”)

    Me: “Is [Grocery Store] the Promised Land?”

    Grandmother: “No. Not even close.”

    Me: “But they have milk and honey!”

    Stuck On The Letter ‘S’

    | VA, USA | Grandparents

    (I’m about one or two years old and I’m at my grandparent’s house sitting in an old wicker chair.)

    Me: “I tuck.”

    Grandma: “What? Tuck?”

    Me: “Tuck! Tuck! I tuck!”

    Grandma: “What do you want sweetie? Do you want juice? Your blankie?”

    Me: “I tuck!”

    (Later she figured out that my leg was stuck in the chair, and learned that I couldn’t pronounce the letter ‘S.’)

    In Mom’s Bad Books

    | IN, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (I’m a massive bookworm, and even though I only have about half of my collection at my college apartment it still fills more than two bookcases. Also, since I’m in college, I’ve had to move several times within the past few years, the boxes with books being the heaviest and most annoying to move. I’m texting my mom.)

    Me: “I got fourteen new books today; the library was having its annual ‘all books are free’ sale. I couldn’t help myself.”

    Mom: “I’m NOT helping you move any books! I will carry your Kindle and that’s it!”

    Weird Pillow Talk

    | Dubuque, IA, USA | Parents & Guardians

    (While I am on vacation, my mom rearranges some of my room and buys me all new pillows. After coming home from the airport, I head to my room to nap before work. One of the new pillows is a body pillow made of really soft mink, and I grab it to move it so I can get into bed.)

    Me: *gasps loudly, clutching the pillow*

    Mom: “What is it?”

    Me: *hugging it and looking her dead in the eye* “I was going to say that I want to rub this all over my body. And then I realized that I can!”

    (She was still laughing when I went to bed. That’s the last time I get six hours sleep in two days.)