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    They Come In Minnie Sizes Also

    | Canada | Parents & Guardians

    (My dad and I are shopping at a crowded mall on a Friday. My dad sees the Victoria’s Secret ad. It is a giant billboard of a girl in a black bra.)

    Dad: “Hey!”

    (He walks up to the ad, sticks head between the breasts and yells…)

    Dad: “I’M MICKEY MOUSE! M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E! MICKEY MOUSE!”

    (I was completely mortified.)

    Driven To Text The Lord

    | Anaheim, CA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My mother is a crazy driver. She is driving on a particularly bumpy road. I receive a text from my sister whom is sitting next to me in the backseat.)

    Text: “JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!”

    Har Dee Har Har

    joke

    The Real Grandchild Is A Whole Different Animal

    | Stockholm, Sweden | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Grandparents, Pets & Animals

    (My grandmother and grandfather are visiting me and my boyfriend for the first time in our new apartment. We have also just gotten a gecko as a pet and are always excited to show off our new ‘baby.’)

    Me: “Oh, hey! Do you want to meet your great grandkid?”

    (Both my grandparents suddenly look extremely uncomfortable and shocked.)

    Me: *not realizing*

    Boyfriend: “Uh…”

    Me: *realizing* “OH, MY GAWSH, NO! I meant the gecko!”

    Ain’t Love Grand?

    | Little Rock, AR, USA | Grandparents

    (I am 20 years old and have just joined the Air Force. I’m on the phone with my grandparents.)

    Grandpa: “So, how’s life?”

    Me: “Good.”

    Grandpa: “How’s work?”

    Me: “Good.”

    Grandpa: “How’s your love life?”

    Me: “Pretty great.”

    Grandpa: “How’s your sex life?”

    Me: “…”

    A Vicious Cereal Cycle

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Siblings

    (Its early morning and I cannot for the life of me, decide what to eat for breakfast.)

    Me: “[Brother?]”

    Brother: “Yes?”

    Me: “What should I eat?”

    Brother: “Depends.”

    Me: “On?”

    Brother: “What do you want to eat?”

    Me: *facepalm*


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