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    They Come In Minnie Sizes Also

    | Canada | Parents & Guardians

    (My dad and I are shopping at a crowded mall on a Friday. My dad sees the Victoria’s Secret ad. It is a giant billboard of a girl in a black bra.)

    Dad: “Hey!”

    (He walks up to the ad, sticks head between the breasts and yells…)

    Dad: “I’M MICKEY MOUSE! M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E! MICKEY MOUSE!”

    (I was completely mortified.)

    Got A Good Reading On You

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (It’s not long after my son’s 10th birthday; part of his gift was a sports jersey. He is wearing it when we go to the Easter agricultural show. A teenage boy running past, taps him on the shoulder.)

    Teen: “Hi, [Son].” *runs off*

    Son: *amazed* “Mum, that boy knew my name. I don’t know him. How did he know my name? Can he read minds?”

    Me: “No, but he can read.”

    Son: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “Your name is on the back of your jersey.”

    Son: *sheepishly* “Oh, yeah. I forgot.”

    Trying To Make You Die Laughing

    | Crestview, FL, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (My three-year-old daughter comes skipping up to me out of the blue.)

    Daughter: “I’m going to miss you when you die very soon…”

    Driven To Text The Lord

    | Anaheim, CA, USA | Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My mother is a crazy driver. She is driving on a particularly bumpy road. I receive a text from my sister whom is sitting next to me in the backseat.)

    Text: “JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!”

    The Real Grandchild Is A Whole Different Animal

    | Stockholm, Sweden | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Grandparents, Pets & Animals

    (My grandmother and grandfather are visiting me and my boyfriend for the first time in our new apartment. We have also just gotten a gecko as a pet and are always excited to show off our new ‘baby.’)

    Me: “Oh, hey! Do you want to meet your great grandkid?”

    (Both my grandparents suddenly look extremely uncomfortable and shocked.)

    Me: *not realizing*

    Boyfriend: “Uh…”

    Me: *realizing* “OH, MY GAWSH, NO! I meant the gecko!”


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