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    Dry Wall And Dry Humor

    | USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Parents & Guardians, Top

    (My girlfriend of two years and I have just moved in together. One of our friends who is helping us move accidentally falls against the wall, knocking a hole in it. My girlfriend is more handy around the house than I am, so fixes it with a drywall patch. My parents show up for a little housewarming dinner. I went to culinary school, something my father isn’t too proud of. This is also the very first time they’ve ever met my girlfriend.)

    Father: “I smell paint. Did you finally stop being a girl and fix something around the house, boy?”

    Me: “No, dad. You said it yourself; I’m about as handy with home repair as using a sandwich for a drill. [Girlfriend's name] knew how to fix it, so she did it.”

    Father: *to my girlfriend* “You? You did this?”

    (He spends the next twenty minutes examining the wall trying to find her patch, and he can’t.)

    Father: “Where did you learn to do that?”

    Girlfriend: “My dad.”

    Father: “So basically, your dad raised a boy with girl parts.”

    Girlfriend: “According to your redneck idiot logic, you raised a girl with boy parts. But no, I don’t think of it that way. I think of it as being raised knowing how to handle myself.”

    (My father is sputtering, speechless and turning an ugly shade of purple.)

    Mother: *to me* “Don’t screw this up, honey. I like this one.”