(I listen to news radio in my car, but my kids like to listen to music. I’m driving with my wife and two teenage daughters in my car, and they start getting rowdy. My wife finally gets fed up.)

Wife: *turning to my daughters* “Settle down, or I will change the radio to daddy’s
station!”

(There was complete and immediate silence.)

(My 3-year-old daughter and I are eating frozen yogurt. The location has very little seating. An older lady comes up asking to share our table, we oblige. Besides, my daughter is very friendly and loves to chat.)

Daughter: “Hi!”

Older Lady: “Hello!”

Daughter: “Where do you come from?”

Older Lady: “I come from God.”

(This stops us both, because while we are Christian, I really don’t know how to respond to that. The conversation moves on to the sorts of topics a precocious 3-year-old can handle, and the lady finishes her treat, and gets up to go. She waves my daughter a friendly good-bye.)

Daughter: “Bye!” *pause as she tries to think of a more flowery farewell* “I hope you go back to God soon!”

(One of my cousins has a couple of young kids, including a six-year-old girl who likes to boss people around. When she realizes that I’ll let her, and that I’m pretty strong, she takes a shine to me.)

Cousin’s daughter: “Put me on your shoulders!”

Me: “Okay!” (I do so. I am 6’3″.)

Cousin’s daughter: “Whoa! This is so cool! I’m taller than everyone! I’m-” *suddenly clings very tightly to my head*

Me: “You all right?”

Cousin’s daughter: “We’re really high up. Don’t look down.”

(I have just had a singing conversation with my three-year-old son while getting him ready for bed. Once we’re finished, I turn to my husband and notice he’s giving us a weird look.)

Me: “What?”

Husband: “I honestly don’t know if you two understand each other because he takes after you, or because you’re just perpetually three years old. Either way, there’s two of you and I’m scared.”

(My little brother is about 2 at the time, and just starting to talk. He has learned the word ‘sister’ and that it means me. I’m 14 years older than he is.)

Little brother: “You’re my big sister, sister.”

Me: “Yes, yes I am. If I’m your sister, what does that make you?”

(I’m hoping he’ll come up with the word brother.)

Little brother: “Happy.”