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    Category: Teenagers

    Wrote A Captain’s Log

    | Columbia, MD, USA | Sons & Daughters, Teenagers

    (I’m browsing the science fiction section of a bookstore. A teenage girl and her mother are also.)

    Girl: “Oh, look! William Shatner wrote a book! I wonder if it’s any good?”

    Me: “Well, I hear he writes about as well as he acts…”

    Girl: *perplexed* “Is that good?”

    (Her mom and I just smile at each other.)

    Mommy’s Little Emo

    | USA | Friends, Parents & Guardians, Teenagers

    (At summer school I’ve got a reputation as the ‘emo kid’ and a bit of a rebel. Today my mom, who’s very sweet and a bit naive, came in with me to sign a paper, but since it’s only my second day, we’ve gotten lost. We turn a corner and run into one of my new friends, who’s a bit of a punk.)

    Mom: *surprised* “Oh, hello.”

    Me: “Dude, where’s our classroom? This place is so weird.”

    Friend: *points* “That way. I’m heading there now. Wanna come?”

    Mom: “No, I think it’s the other way, sweetie.”

    Me: “Well, I’ll see you later, Mom.”

    Mom: “Bye! Have fun in school!”

    (Once we get out of earshot…)

    Friend: “What was THAT?”

    Me: “Not. A. Word.”

    You’re Gonna Be In Pictures

    | UT, USA | Siblings, Teenagers

    (I’m looking up information for my husband about a charter school he attended and later worked at. My younger sister also attended the school. Their website shows pictures of past graduations and award ceremonies. My sister happens to be in one of the pictures, so I text her to let her know.)

    Me: “You’re in a picture on [School]‘s website.”

    Sister: What?!”

    Me: “From your graduation.”

    Sister: “THIS IS GONNA MAKE ME FAMOUS!”

    One Ambition

    | CA, USA | Cousins, Teenagers

    (I am eight years older than my youngest cousin. I have always adored this kid from day one; she never failed to make me laugh. I’m always amazed every year at how much she’s grown. Fast forward to her being 16 years old. She absolutely loves the band ‘One Direction.’)

    Cousin: “I want to marry One Direction.”

    Me: “You mean one of the guys from the band, right?”

    Cousin: “No, I mean the whole band. Instead of sister-wives, they can be brother-husbands.”

    (I spent most of the next two days laughing. She may not be a funny baby anymore, but she’s still definitely hilarious!)

    A Giant Surprise

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Cousins, Parents & Guardians, Teenagers

    (I am three years old. At this point in my life, all of my relatives whom I have met are about 5’7″ or under. We have just arrived in town on a red-eye flight, and are staying at my aunt’s house. It is early morning, and I’ve just woken up.)

    Me: “Mommy! I’m hungry!”

    Mom: *sleepily* “Well, go to the kitchen. Your cousin should be there and he can fix you something.”

    (I go to the kitchen, and see the fridge door open, and someone bent over looking in.)

    Me: “Hi!”

    (My 14-year-old cousin, whom I have never met before, slowly straightens up to his full height of 6’4″. I stare at him, and then run away, crying.)

    Mom: “What? What’s going on? Did you go to the kitchen?”

    Me: *tearfully* “Yes!”

    Mom: “Well, why didn’t you ask [Cousin] for breakfast?”

    Me: “Mommy, I couldn’t! There was a GIANT in there!”


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