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    Category: Sons & Daughters

    Family Love Is In The Air

    | West Sussex, England, UK | Sons & Daughters

    (I am lying in bed with my two-year-old daughter, having a cuddle. I look at her, thinking how much I love her, what a good little girl she is and how adorable she can be.)

    Me: “I love you, [Daughter].”

    (She then looks back at me, raises her bum and back off the bed, and farts. Loudly.)

    Daughter: “I love you, fart.”

    (She takes after her dad.)

    A Little Foggy On The Subject

    | Europe | Sons & Daughters

    (It’s a brisk November evening and there’s a bit of mist over the meadows.)

    Daughter: “Mom, look! There’s fog outside! Why is there fog?”

    Me: “Well, it’s wet and cold today…”

    Daughter: “…and the fog likes it?”

    Buying Themselves A Slap

    | CA, USA | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (I work in a department store, and overhear this while I am putting things away.)

    Kid: “You’re going to buy this for me, or else! I’m ordering you to buy this for me. I’m going to get madder and madder if I don’t get it right now! I said, RIGHT NOW!”

    (Never wanted to slap someone more in my life…)

    Hitting Upon A Solution

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Sons & Daughters

    (My teenage son is bugging his little sister and she finally gets fed up with it. The following ensues:)

    Daughter: “Mom, can I hit him?”

    Son: “I hit back, you know. A lot harder.”

    Daughter: *pause, scowl* “Mom, can YOU hit him?”

    Play This Song To Death

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (My teenage daughter and I are listening to the radio when “What a Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong comes on.)

    Me: “This is your dad’s favourite song. It reminds him of you.”

    Daughter: “Oh, that’s so nice.”

    Me: “Yep, if you ever die before us, we’re going to play it at your funeral.”

    Daughter: “MOM! That’s horrible!” *looking at me in shock*

    Me: *trying to backtrack* “…or, we’ll play it at your wedding. Yeah. It’ll be a really nice father-daughter dance.”

    Faced With The Truth

    | NS, Canada | Children, Sons & Daughters

    (My six-year-old daughter keeps sticking her tongue out at dinner.)

    Husband: “[Daughter], are you making faces at the dinner table?”

    Daughter: “No, I’m making faces at you!”

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