(I am three years old, and my sister is about one and a half. We are playing in the family room while my mom is in the kitchen. I am building a block tower, and my sister promptly knocks it down.)

Me: “Stop that!”

(This happens about three times. The fourth time after she knocks over a tower…)

Me: “D*** IT, child!”

(Our mom bursts out laughing, and I didn’t even get in trouble. Why? Because mom knew exactly who I learned it from.)

(I’m going as Spock for Halloween, and I’m still slowly piecing my costume together.)

Sister: *points to the corkboard above Dad’s desk* “Isn’t that a Star Trek pin?”

Me: “Yeah! Oh, wait, I can’t use that one.”

Sister: “Why not?”

Me: “It’s the Command insignia; I need Sciences/Medical.”

Sister: “Would anybody even notice?”

(I glare at her.)

Sister: “Whoops, she’s giving me that look like ‘I WOULD NOTICE’.

Me: “I don’t want the other geeks to make fun of me!”

(My brother and I work at the same office, in cubicles bordering each other.)

Brother: “Hey, what size shoes do you wear?”

Me: “Between 12-13 depending on who makes them. Why?”

Brother: “No reason.”

Me: “It worries me when you ask personal questions and don’t say why.”

Brother: “Fine. I was planning on cutting off your feet and attaching metal prosthetics and wanted to make sure I got the sizes right.”

Me: *pause* “…alright.”

(I’m sitting at our computer desk with ten bottles of nail polish in various colors and some artificial nails. I’m using a size 0 paint brush to decorate the nails.)

Sister: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Making these nails look awesome.”

(My sister picks up one of the nails I’ve finished.)

Sister: “Hey, this is Captain America’s shield!”

Me: “Yep, and this one is going to have the Avengers’ emblem on it.”

Sister: *noticing the other nails* “Mjolnir, the Tesseract, and this one looks like the
pattern on a black widow’s back!”

Me: “I’ll be doing Hulk’s fist and Ironman’s mask next. Then I’ll have to look up references for Black Panther and Hawkeye’s emblems and decide which of the other Avengers to put on the final nail.”

Sister: “You’ve got to paint me a set of these too!”

Dad: *shaking his head* “You two are such geeks.”

Me: “Admit it, if you were a woman, you’d wear them too.”

Dad: *opens his mouth to reply, but then stops*

Me: “I’ll take that as a yes.”

(We’ve just eaten a large roast meal, and are all lounging around while my mother sorts out some dessert. She comes into the living room and starts talking to my 12-year old brother.)

Mum: “Do you want some apple danish?”

Brother: *looks up* “What flavour is it?”

Mum: “Well, it’s apple danish.”

Brother: “Yeah, but what flavour is it?”

Mum: “Listen to me. It’s apple danish. Apple. Danish.”

Brother: *angrily* “But what flavour is it?”

(My stepdad and I are beside ourselves trying not to laugh at this point.)

Mum: “It’s APPLE danish.”

Brother: “What flavour is it?!”

Mum: yelling “Its blackcurrant!”

Brother: “Oh no, I don’t like that.”

(Later that evening, he saw the left over apple danish and got upset that no one had offered him any.)