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    Category: Pets & Animals

    Breaking Bread With Your Brother

    | Mexico | Children, Pets & Animals, Sons & Daughters

    (We are having a friendly get together at my house. I have a new puppy and my friend’s daughter is enthralled by it. After a while, we see the puppy eating a piece of bread that had been given to the kids. Note that the kids are four and two years old respectively.)

    Me: “Hey, [Friend], I think your daughter is feeding bread to the dog.”

    Friend: “[Daughter], are you giving your bread to the dog?”

    Daughter: “No. It’s my brother’s.”

    She’s A Mew-dist

    | PA, USA | Children, Pets & Animals, Sons & Daughters

    (I am getting my two-year-old daughter ready to take over to her grandma’s for the day. Some mornings it’s a fight to get her to do anything.)

    Me: “[Daughter], it’s time to get dressed; you need clothes to go to Memaw’s.”

    Daughter: “No. I no want to.”

    (I try to put shirt on her as our cat Buster wanders past.)

    Daughter: “Buster doesn’t wear a shirt. I won’t either!”

    (I shake my head at the profound logic coming from my two-year-old. We might have to start clothing our animals now.)

    The Cat Can Even Get Your Tongue

    | NJ, USA | Parents & Guardians, Pets & Animals

    (My cat begins following me, meowing very loudly and annoyingly, so I go to investigate what her issue is.)

    Me: “MOM! How dare you?!”

    Mom: “Huh? What?”

    Me: “You left your papers all over [Cat]‘s special spot on the bed! Now she’s mad!”

    Mom: “Sorry? I wasn’t aware the right bottom corner of MY bed was no longer mine.”

    Me: *moves papers and puts cat down*

    Mom: *sighs* “Nothing is mine anymore… “

    Dog Has It’s Day Everyday

    | Enfield, CT, USA | Cousins, Pets & Animals

    (I’m staying with my cousin and her pitbull for the weekend. I see my cousin cutting up a large amount of chicken. She’s vegetarian, so naturally this arouses my curiosity.)

    Me: “What are you doing with all that chicken?”

    Cousin: “Making dog food.”

    Me: “… Why?”

    Cousin: “Because she’s allergic to canned dog food. And because I don’t have children. That, too.”

    Too Many Elephants, Not Enough Dogs

    | The Netherlands | Friends, Parents & Guardians, Pets & Animals

    (I’m 12 years old, and a friend of mine is over at my place. We’re asked to take the dog out to walk. We’re almost at the end of our garden, when my dad calls out from the house.)

    Dad: “Hey! Aren’t you two forgetting something?”

    Me: “I’m pretty sure we’re not.”

    Friend: “We never forget anything. We got the memory of two elephants!”

    Dad: “Oh, really? Then would you Dumbos mind explaining why you’re holding a leash, but the dog is still here?”

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