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    Category: Pets & Animals

    Looking For That Great White Romance

    | USA | Pets & Animals, Siblings

    (My older brother, my dad, and I are all sitting in the living room watching ‘Sharknado’ because we are really bored. Some girl gets eaten by a shark and my brother slams his hand down on the sofa.)

    Brother: “Story of my life!”

    Me: “What?”

    Brother: “Every time! Every time I meet a pretty girl, she gets eaten by sharks!”

    Still Puppy Loves You

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | LGTBQ, Parents & Guardians, Pets & Animals

    (I came out to my mother several years earlier, and while she never loved me any less because of it, it has taken her some time to come to terms with and accept it.)

    Me: “I think my mind is telling me I want a puppy. I keep finding myself wandering over to the dog section at the store, or at [Popular Pet Store].”

    Mom: “You mean I’m going to be a grandmother after all?”

    (After hearing her joke about it like that, I knew it meant she was finally all right with it.)

    The Real Grandchild Is A Whole Different Animal

    | Stockholm, Sweden | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Grandparents, Pets & Animals

    (My grandmother and grandfather are visiting me and my boyfriend for the first time in our new apartment. We have also just gotten a gecko as a pet and are always excited to show off our new ‘baby.’)

    Me: “Oh, hey! Do you want to meet your great grandkid?”

    (Both my grandparents suddenly look extremely uncomfortable and shocked.)

    Me: *not realizing*

    Boyfriend: “Uh…”

    Me: *realizing* “OH, MY GAWSH, NO! I meant the gecko!”

    At The End Of Your Dog Days

    | Des Moines, IA USA | Parents & Guardians, Pets & Animals

    (A sweet 86-year-old lady comes into my insurance office.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Lady: “I wanted to change the beneficiaries of my life insurance policy.”

    (She submits the form and has several children, listing each one individually and what percentage of her policy each should receive when she dies. She gets to the last person:)

    Lady: “And to Arthur, 0%, because he loves his dog more than his own mother.”

    Breaking Bread With Your Brother

    | Mexico | Children, Pets & Animals, Sons & Daughters

    (We are having a friendly get together at my house. I have a new puppy and my friend’s daughter is enthralled by it. After a while, we see the puppy eating a piece of bread that had been given to the kids. Note that the kids are four and two years old respectively.)

    Me: “Hey, [Friend], I think your daughter is feeding bread to the dog.”

    Friend: “[Daughter], are you giving your bread to the dog?”

    Daughter: “No. It’s my brother’s.”


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