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    Category: Grandparents

    Money Makes The Superhero World Go Round

    | USA | Grandparents, Theme Of The Month

    (My grandmother and I both love superheroes. We are talking about what superpowers we would have.)

    Me: “I would have flying. Then I would save money on gas.”

    Grandma: “I would want to be super rich.”

    Me: “Like Batman?”

    Grandma: “Yes, but instead I would get all the guys instead of all the girls.”

    Me: *face palm*

    Love Makes Fools Of Us All

    | USA | Grandparents

    (I have just mentioned to my grandmother that I will be seeing a production of Romeo and Juliet soon.)

    Me: “I’m so excited to see it since I loved reading the play. The story’s themes are so great, like giving up social positions and family status for true love. However, I do think it is seriously illogical for two people to fall in love after a single conversation, marry the next day, and commit suicide when the other is dead on the third day.”

    Grandmother: “But that’s how love works; as soon as you first meet them, you know they’re the one. It can’t go any other way.”

    Me: “Well, I guess some people do get a crush on somebody after one day, but love takes a lot longer.”

    Grandmother: “What makes you think you know anything about love? You’re just a kid!”

    Me: “Actually, I do know something about love. I’ve really liked a friend of mine for the past year, even though we started off as just friends. Tonight is senior prom, and I just went through having to hear all about his date for the dance, somebody who only likes him because of how he looks, not his amazing personality. At the moment, I’m having a major breakdown, and judging by the fact that I feel my entire world has crumbled around me, I can definitely say I am in love and heartbroken. So I think my opinion of love is just as valuable as yours.”

    Grandmother: *shuts up*

    My Imaginary Eye

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Children, Grandchildren, Grandparents

    (Every week my family has a nice dinner out with my parents. We are driving home with everyone in the car. We are teaching my four- and five-year-old daughters to play ‘I spy.’ It is night and dark so the game is a little more challenging than usual.)

    Five-Year-Old: “I spy with my eye something that starts with ‘A’”

    (After a few moments.)

    Me: “We give up. What do you see that starts with ‘A’?”

    Five-Year-Old: *looks around a moment* “Well, you can use your imagination!”

    (Cue laughter in the car.)

    Grandpa: “What about ‘upholstery’…?”

    Going Head-First Into Your Innuendo

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Grandparents, Siblings

    (My family is having dinner at a restaurant for Mother’s Day. I’m sitting with my brother and sister opposite our grandpa.)

    Grandpa: *pouring beer* “Oops, too much head.”

    Brother: “Are you practicing your beer-pouring skills so you can be a barman?”

    Grandpa: “No, I don’t think I’ll be able to work a bar with this dismal effort.”

    Me: *muttering* “It’s got more head than a high school football player.”

    Brother & Sister: *laughing so hard they’re crying*

    (My stepdad was laughing too hard to tell us off.)

    Never Too Old To Fight For What’s Right

    | NH, USA | Aunts & Uncles, Grandparents, LGTBQ, Top

    (I don’t have a grandfather of my own as they both passed away before I was born. My cousin’s grandfather has come on vacation with us. They call him papaw. I’ve never really called him anything because I’m not sure what to call him as he’s not my grandfather and I’m not exactly sure how he feels about me. I’ve recently come out as gay and have brought my girlfriend with us on the trip. We’re listening to the radio and there’s some controversial story about gay rights being debated about.)

    Papaw: “D*** all these gays! This crap is annoying!”

    Uncle: “Dad!”

    Papaw: “What? This gay rights crap is getting old. I’ll never see anything settled in my lifetime so why should I have to hear about it everywhere I go? I’m sick of it!”

    Me: “Um, my girlfriend and I are sitting right here.”

    Papaw: “You don’t count.”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Papaw: “Because you’re my granddaughter and I’ll always fight for or beside you no matter what we’re fighting for.”

    (He’s since passed away but I couldn’t have asked for a better grandfather.)

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