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    Category: Grandparents

    About To Become Parental Guidance

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Aunts & Uncles, Grandparents

    (I am visiting my aunt, uncle, and two young cousins. My/their grandmother is also visiting, and we’re all watching a movie when a mild kissing scene comes on.)

    Aunt: “I was told this was a kids’ movie!”

    Grandmother: “If they keep that up, it will be.”

    Let’s Hope They Drive Safe

    | Felton, DE, USA | Grandparents, Parents & Guardians

    (My parents both love camping, so they decide to buy themselves a nice RV to retire in. Sometimes, they spend nights in the RV for seemingly no reason. The morning after one such night, my grandmother calls.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Grandmother: “Hi, [My Name]. Is your mother there?”

    Me: “She and dad spent the night in the RV. They haven’t come in yet.”

    Grandmother: “Well, it’s cheaper than a motel!”

    To Sum It Up, They Are At Odds

    | TX, USA | Grandparents

    (I teach pre-calculus, and I’m trying to explain to my granny what I teach.)

    Granny: “Are there any girls in your class?”

    Me: “Yes… Why wouldn’t there be?”

    Granny: “Why do girls need math, anyway?”

    Me: “Um… For the same reason the boys do: so they can go to college and get a good job.”

    Granny: “Can the girls keep up with the boys in the class?”

    Me: “Yes! Most of the time the girls get higher grades than the boys because they check their work better before they turn it in.”

    Granny: “But girls can’t do that kind of hard math.”

    Me: “Granny, I’m a girl, and I’m teaching ‘that kind of hard math!’”

    A Grand Introduction

    | FL, USA | Children, Grandparents

    (My parents and I are picking up my half-brother from his grandparents in Florida. I’ve never had grandfathers as they both passed away before I was born. My half-brother’s grandfather is a gigantic man with a serious face, and sometimes intimidates even my mother. I have social anxiety and am four years old.)

    Me: *staring up at my half-brother’s grandfather*

    Grandfather: *stares down at me*

    Mom: “Oh, don’t do that. You’ll scare her!”

    Grandfather: “She doesn’t look very scared to me…”

    Me: *looks around at everyone* “Why does big brother get to have a grandfather?! I don’t have a grandfather!” *walks up to my half-brother’s grandfather* “Will you be my grandfather?”

    Grandfather: *slowly smiles* “Yes. Yes, I will.”

    (And that’s how I finally got a grandfather.)

    Misses The Time When A Drink Was Just A Drink

    | UK | Children, Grandparents, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (My teenage daughter, my mother, and I are in a cafe when my daughter notices a QR code on her slushy drink. She tries to scan it with her phone, but for some reason it won’t work.)

    Daughter: “Mum, can you try?”

    Me: “Yep, give it here.” *I try and scan it several times, but there’s obviously a problem as the scanner can’t pick it up*

    Mum: “What are you doing?”

    Daughter: “Trying to scan the QR code. I think it’s got an error.”

    Mum: “What’s a QR code?”

    Daughter: “It’s this here.” *she points at it* “You scan it with a reader.”

    Me: “It links you to a website.”

    Mum: *looking completely blank* “… Okay.”

    Me: “We’re talking Greek, aren’t we?”

    Mum: “Yeah. You are.”


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