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    Category: Grandparents

    This Cook Actually Spoiled The Broth

    | USA | Grandparents, Siblings

    (My grandmother is a terrible cook. One St. Patrick’s Day, she makes corned beef and cabbage. My sister and I are totally turned off by the smell and the weird color, and she finally coaxes us to try one tiny bite. We both spit it out and make gagging noises.)

    Grandma: *exasperated* “FINE! I am never cooking for you girls ever again.”

    Sister & Me: *in unison* “Thank you!”

    Needs To Work On Your Excommunication Skills

    | USA | Grandparents, Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My family is slightly religious and rather conservative, while I am a very liberal atheist. At the moment, my parents, grandparents, little sister, and I are chatting. I’ve tuned out and am immersed in a book.)

    Grandmother: “So I’ve decided to stop going to [Church]. Everyone I know there has left so it’s not as interesting, and I don’t like the new minister.”

    Dad: “What happened to the old one?”

    Grandmother: “He got excommunicated for letting his gay son get married.”

    Me: *looks up from book* “Seriously? That’s so close-minded! Some people are just infuriating.”

    Sister: “Wait, they killed him?!”

    Me: “What? No, exCOMMUNICATED, not exECUTED!”

    (She honestly thought they’d executed him…)

    Just Don’t Do What The Bears Do

    | PA, USA | Grandparents, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (My mom, daughter, and I are shopping when we walk past a kiosk offering bathroom renovations.)

    Salesperson: “Are you happy with your bathroom?”

    Me: “I don’t have a bathroom.”

    Mom: “Yeah, we pee in the woods.”

    Daughter: “Can we really, grandma?!”

    On Your Guest Behavior

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Grandparents

    (I used to spend many weekends with my grandma. As she is a widow at the time, she lives alone and works all week so she always does her chores on the weekends in her little spare time. I am around two or three.)

    Mom: “Grandma, I’m bored.”

    Grandma: “Well, here, you can help grandma while she finishes the laundry and wash the stairs.”

    Mom: “Well… okay, but this sure isn’t a nice way to treat a guest!”

    Swear Off Bad Television

    | USA | Grandparents

    (My grandma and I are watching TV, she is trying to find a new movie when this happen:)

    Man On TV: “Oh, f***!”

    Grandma: “Oh, s***! That is some bad language! I better turn it.”

    Me: “…really?”

    School Her On The Rules Of Monopoly

    | Southampton, England, UK | Grandparents, Theme Of The Month

    (It is Christmas Eve. My family is sitting down playing the local city edition of Monopoly. My uncle lands on the square for the city college.)

    Me: *jokingly* “So, which college course are you taking, then?”

    (At this, my grandma looks up, her eyes wide.)

    Grandma: “You’re taking a college course?!”


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