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    Category: Friends

    You’ll Get Sick Of That Song Soon

    | CO, USA | Children, Friends, Sons & Daughters

    (My friend is working the welcome table at church. My 13-year-old son is sitting nearby. A woman walks in.)

    Friend: “Hi, welcome to [Church]. Is this your first time?”

    Woman: “Yes, it is.”

    Friend: “Well, welcome, then. Let me show you where we meet.”

    Son: *in full-on opera voice* “Eeeeee Boooooh Laaaaa. Eeeeee Boooooh Laaaaa!”

    Woman: “Uh…”

    Friend: “Oh, um… they must have talked about Ebola in Sunday School this morning.”

    Woman: “Wow, he has a really good singing voice.”

    Friend: “Umm… yes, he does. And quite loud. Here is where we meet for worship.”

    Son: “Eeeee Booooh Laaaaaaa!”

    A Forgetful Feeder

    | Australia | Friends, Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (I’ve been best friends with the same girl for most of our lives so we’re both pretty comfortable with each other’s families. I’ve gone over to her house to drop off a present for her younger sister who got an incredible mark in her HSC. As the three of us are watching TV their mum sits down to talk with us.)

    Their Mum: “Were you having dinner here?”

    Me: “Oh no, I’ll be going home. My grandparents are visiting.”

    Their Mum: “What about you, [Best Friend]? Are you staying for dinner?”

    Friend: “No, mum, I’m having dinner with friends.

    Their Mum: “Oh, is [My Name] going, too?”

    Friend’s Sister: “No, mum, she just said she was having dinner at home.”

    Their Mum: “Oh, okay.”

    (A bit of time goes past and my friend and I are talking about leaving.)

    Their Mum: “Oh, [Best Friend], do you want to eat before you go?”

    Friend: “No, mum, I just said I was going out for dinner.”

    Their Mum: “Okay, but what about your friend?”

    Friend’s Sister: “No, mum, she’s going home for dinner.”

    (A little more time passes and it’s getting around dinner time. My friend and I are getting up to leave.)

    Their Mum: “[Best Friend], so you’re not having dinner?”

    Friend: “No, mum. I’m having dinner with my friends.”

    Their Mum: “Yeah, okay, but [My Name], you’re staying?”

    Friend’s Sister: *after a slight pause* “No, mum… I think she’s going to leave with [Best Friend].”

    Their Mum: “Okay, but do you want something to eat before you go?”

    Keep Your Pants On About Church

    | Japan | Friends, Sons & Daughters

    (My friend’s family has recently been stationed in Japan. She’s trying to get her five kids, aged eight and younger, ready for church when her second son comes downstairs.)

    Friend: “[Son], why are you wearing a sweatshirt? It’s going to be really warm today and you’ll get hot.”

    Son: “I know. That’s why I’m not wearing any pants.”

    Oh My Virgin Ears!

    | Cornwall, England, UK | Friends, Parents & Guardians

    (My mum teases me about playing video games, but doesn’t really mind as I’m 15 and not stupid. She’s meeting me in a shop that sells stuff for gaming. I’m with a few friends who have all known my mum since we were at nursery. I get there a bit late and my mum is waiting.)

    Me: “Sorry, sorry. I know you hate this shop.”

    Mum: “It’s not that I hate it. I just spend more money in here every month than I do on the mortgage.”

    (My mum gives me the things she has for me. My friends start chatting amongst themselves then to me.)

    Mum: “Okay, I’m going. There’s far too much virginity in this shop.”

    (She then said goodbye and left. Several people looked round and one man (in here with his son) bursts out laughing.)

    Friend: “Did your mum really just say that?”

    Me: “You have no idea what my childhood’s been like!”

    The Odds Are Not In Their Favor

    | Allentown, PA, USA | Children, Friends

    (We’re taking my little sister to attend a friend’s birthday party at a restaurant. Upon arriving, we witness another party that has gotten out of control, complete with children running all over the place and hitting each other with balloons while most of the adults just sit back and watch.)

    Me: “Oh, great… 24 children running around, trying to kill each other for cake and pizza while adults watch… This isn’t a birthday party; it’s the Hunger Games…”

    Can’t Put His Finger On Why They’re Laughing

    | IA, USA | Friends, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters

    (My mom, autistic brother, a caretaker of his, and I are eating a bowl of mixed nuts while chatting. My brother starts rummaging through the nuts to look for his favorites.)

    Mom: “[Son], no one wants you fingering their nuts.”

    (Pause.)

    Mom: “Oh. god! That’s not what I meant!”

    Caretaker: “Well, I wasn’t going to say anything…”

    (Then we all burst out laughing while my brother looked on in bemusement.)


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