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    Category: Friends

    Mommy’s Little Emo

    | USA | Friends, Parents & Guardians, Teenagers

    (At summer school I’ve got a reputation as the ‘emo kid’ and a bit of a rebel. Today my mom, who’s very sweet and a bit naive, came in with me to sign a paper, but since it’s only my second day, we’ve gotten lost. We turn a corner and run into one of my new friends, who’s a bit of a punk.)

    Mom: *surprised* “Oh, hello.”

    Me: “Dude, where’s our classroom? This place is so weird.”

    Friend: *points* “That way. I’m heading there now. Wanna come?”

    Mom: “No, I think it’s the other way, sweetie.”

    Me: “Well, I’ll see you later, Mom.”

    Mom: “Bye! Have fun in school!”

    (Once we get out of earshot…)

    Friend: “What was THAT?”

    Me: “Not. A. Word.”

    Cell Mates

    | Gilbert, AZ, USA | Friends, Siblings

    (My friend and I are babysitting my very young brother. We are 12 at the time and my brother is three. My brother is also clearly adopted.)

    Friend: “You guys are sharing ice cream? Eww!”

    Me: “That’s okay. He’s my brother. We’re made out of the same things.”

    Friend: “Whaa?”

    Me: “Cells!”

    Little Lovecraftians

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Friends, Godparents & Godchildren

    (I’m at Friend #1′s house playing a board game, when their three-year-old son, my godson, starts pointing at the pieces. We’re all huge nerds.)

    Godson: “What’s that?”

    (The piece is a sea monster called the Krakenoid.)

    Friend #1: “He’s kind of like Cthulhu. Do you know who Cthulhu is?”

    Friend #2: “If he doesn’t, that’s really your fault.”

    Friend #1: “Can you say ‘Cthulhu,’ [Godson]?”

    Godson: “No.”

    Friend #2: “That’s probably wise.”

    Don’t Save The Date

    | Nashville, TN, USA | Children, Friends, In-Laws, Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (I’ve recently gotten engaged, and these are the reactions I get after informing various family/friends:)

    Sister-In-Law: “Congrats! When is it? You can’t do it on our anniversary, okay?”

    Groom’s Sister: “Oh, cool. Don’t steal my birthday!”

    Mom: “Yeah! Did you set a date? Don’t do it on your grandparents’ anniversary!”

    College Buddy: “Congrats, you guys! Don’t take our anniversary, okay? Haha!”

    Cousin: “Congratulations! He’s so cool! Don’t have the wedding during football season, though, or I can’t come.”

    (Can you take five minutes to be happy for me before making demands about when YOU want MY wedding to be?)

    A Poker-Face Slap

    | Germantown, MD, USA | Children, Friends, Sons & Daughters, Theme Of The Month

    (We have friends over and are playing ‘Settlers of Catan.’ In ‘Settlers’ you use different resources like sheep, wheat, wood, brick and ore to build roads, settlements and cities. You can trade cards with other players to get what you need. My daughter, who is just beginning to talk, is sitting in my husband’s lap.)

    Friend #1: “I’d like to trade a brick for a sheep. Does anyone have a sheep?”

    Most Of Us: “No.”

    Daughter: *looking at my husband’s hand* “Baaaaa!”

    Husband: *face-palm*

    (A bit later we are playing ‘Pit’ where you do very fast trades of different commodities with other players until you get all of one commodity. One of them is cattle. My daughter is now in my lap.)

    Friend #1: “Come on! I want cattle!”

    Daughter: *pointing to my hand* “Moooo!”

    (Thankfully she has now grown to be a great gamer, even teaching her little sister!)


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