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    Category: Friends

    Remember To Hug Responsibly

    | Gothenburg, Sweden | Children, Friends, Sons & Daughters

    (I’m visiting my best friend. My friend is female while I’m male. She’s recently gotten married and has a young son, about four years old. Her husband is at work and the son hasn’t seen me other than when he was a newborn.)

    Son: “Mom, I got a question.”

    Friend: “Yes, dear?”

    Son: “Where is dad?”

    Friend: “He’s at his job.”

    Son: “Oh. Is that why you’re with this guy? So you get someone to hug under the blankets at night?”

    (We both stare silently at him for a few moments.)

    Friend: “No. He’s just an old friend of mine.”

    Son: “Oh. Okay.”

    (He walks off again. I turn to her.)

    Me: “What the h*** have you been doing around that kid?!”

    You Are The Very Definition Of Naive

    | Denmark | Friends, Siblings

    (A friend of mine, my brother, and I are on a trip, traveling by train. My friend is not that bright.)

    Brother: “Oh, [Friend], you are just so naive!”

    Friend: “What does naive mean?”

    Brother: “Just that you are really kind and sweet.”

    Friend: “Thank you, [Brother]. [My Name] you are the most naive person I know!”

    Me: “Not as naive as you!” *giggle*

    Supportive Mothers

    | NY, USA | Children, Friends, Parents & Guardians

    (I’m in college. My family is at a friend’s house. I babysit our friend’s older daughter, and have met their newborn before. My family is meeting her for the first time.)

    Friend: *to my mom* “Would you like to hold [Newborn]?”

    Mom: “Oh, sure!”

    (My mom takes a second to adjust the baby’s position and I chime in.)

    Me: “Be careful! Support her head and neck!”

    Mom: *giving me a look* “You do realize I’ve done this before, right?”

    Me: “Oh. Yeah. But it’s been a long time! Maybe you needed to be reminded!”

    Rack Your Brain For A Way Out Of This One

    | NSW, Australia | Friends, Parents & Guardians

    (My mum and I have just been around to a female friend’s place and we noticed she had an awesome seasoning/herb display on her wall. A couple of days later my parents and I are sitting around the table discussing the shopping list and mum mentions seasonings. Mum and Dad have been married for 26 years.)

    Mum: “Do we need any seasonings? [Friend] has a great rack.”

    (I immediately burst out laughing. My dad looks at her seriously.)

    Dad: “Checking out other women’s racks? Babe, is there something you need to tell me?”

    (I continued to laugh as mum went bright red and stuttered to explain herself.)

    Mishearing And Misconceiving

    | USA | Friends, Parents & Guardians

    (My 15-year-old neighbor and I, at 13, are in our dining room discussing schools, and how often we have moved. My dad is also in the room.)

    Me: “My old school had hexters.”

    Neighbor: “Hexters?”

    Me: “Yeah, there were six of them. Two every trimester.”

    Dad: *looking up, concerned* “Trimesters? What’s all this about trimesters?!”


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