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    Category: Friends

    Precious Pew

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Friends, Sons & Daughters

    Friend: “Oh, how cute!”

    Wife: “What?”

    Friend: “Your daughter said, ‘Excuse me, I tooted.’ How precious.”

    (Pause…)

    Friend: *cough* “Oh, dear Lord! No longer precious! Ack!”

    Remember To Hug Responsibly

    | Gothenburg, Sweden | Children, Friends, Sons & Daughters

    (I’m visiting my best friend. My friend is female while I’m male. She’s recently gotten married and has a young son, about four years old. Her husband is at work and the son hasn’t seen me other than when he was a newborn.)

    Son: “Mom, I got a question.”

    Friend: “Yes, dear?”

    Son: “Where is dad?”

    Friend: “He’s at his job.”

    Son: “Oh. Is that why you’re with this guy? So you get someone to hug under the blankets at night?”

    (We both stare silently at him for a few moments.)

    Friend: “No. He’s just an old friend of mine.”

    Son: “Oh. Okay.”

    (He walks off again. I turn to her.)

    Me: “What the h*** have you been doing around that kid?!”

    You Are The Very Definition Of Naive

    | Denmark | Friends, Siblings

    (A friend of mine, my brother, and I are on a trip, traveling by train. My friend is not that bright.)

    Brother: “Oh, [Friend], you are just so naive!”

    Friend: “What does naive mean?”

    Brother: “Just that you are really kind and sweet.”

    Friend: “Thank you, [Brother]. [My Name] you are the most naive person I know!”

    Me: “Not as naive as you!” *giggle*

    Supportive Mothers

    | NY, USA | Children, Friends, Parents & Guardians

    (I’m in college. My family is at a friend’s house. I babysit our friend’s older daughter, and have met their newborn before. My family is meeting her for the first time.)

    Friend: *to my mom* “Would you like to hold [Newborn]?”

    Mom: “Oh, sure!”

    (My mom takes a second to adjust the baby’s position and I chime in.)

    Me: “Be careful! Support her head and neck!”

    Mom: *giving me a look* “You do realize I’ve done this before, right?”

    Me: “Oh. Yeah. But it’s been a long time! Maybe you needed to be reminded!”

    Rack Your Brain For A Way Out Of This One

    | NSW, Australia | Friends, Parents & Guardians

    (My mum and I have just been around to a female friend’s place and we noticed she had an awesome seasoning/herb display on her wall. A couple of days later my parents and I are sitting around the table discussing the shopping list and mum mentions seasonings. Mum and Dad have been married for 26 years.)

    Mum: “Do we need any seasonings? [Friend] has a great rack.”

    (I immediately burst out laughing. My dad looks at her seriously.)

    Dad: “Checking out other women’s racks? Babe, is there something you need to tell me?”

    (I continued to laugh as mum went bright red and stuttered to explain herself.)


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