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    Category: Cousins

    It Takes An Age To Remember

    | London, England, UK | Cousins

    (I’ve met my older cousin for dinner, and mentioned my birthday coming up in a couple of months.)

    Cousin: “Wait, are you 30 this year?”

    Me: “No, 29.”

    Cousin: “Phew, I thought for a horrible second I was 32 this year, but I’m only going to be 31.”

    Me: “Did you just have to check my age and then add two to remember how old you are?”

    Cousin: “Maybe…”

    Stranger Zombies Can Be Found

    | TX, USA | Cousins

    (My cousin is going into the grocery store while I stay in the car.)

    Cousin: “I’ll leave the car running for you. If you see a stranger, bite them. Don’t let them bite you though or you’ll turn into a stranger…”

    A Sim(ple) View Of The World

    | Franche-comté, France | Children, Cousins, Nephews & Nieces, Themed Giveaway

    (I’m on holiday with my second cousin and his nephew, who is eight-years-old. His nephew and I are in front of a good chimney fire.)

    Me: “I can see me being here with my crush.”

    Cousin’s Nephew: “And you will make love!”

    Me: *a little shocked* “There is not only that. There is hugging, kissing…”

    Cousin’s Nephew: “I know love! I’m playing Sims!”

    Big Kid In Big Trouble

    | Kent, England, UK | Children, Cousins, Nephews & Nieces

    (Whilst at a family gathering, I walk into the living room and find my 26-year-old male cousin watching a popular toddler’s TV program with his four-year-old nephew.)

    Cousin: *turning red* “I’m not… it’s only on because of him!”

    Nephew: “No, it’s not. I don’t even like this show.”

    This Ice Cream Just Got Colder

    | CA, USA | Cousins

    (I’m eating ice cream straight from the tub because it’s a small container and I’m the only one in the house who eats that flavor. I offer my spoon to my cousin, who had slept over the previous night.)

    Me: “Want a bite?”

    Cousin: “Sure.”

    (Takes the spoon from me and eats a few bites from the container, before giving it back to me. I resume eating.)

    Cousin: “I hope I didn’t keep you up last night.”

    Me: “What? No, why?”

    Cousin: “Well I have a cold, so I was up coughing for a while.”

    Me: “Oh, no, it was fine— Wait, you’re sick?! You tell me this now? You tell me after I let you eat from my spoon? Oh, my god, and you ate directly from the container, too!”

    Cousin: “Oh, my god! I’m so sorry! I totally forgot I was sick!”


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