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    Category: Boyfriends & Girlfriends

    A Prehistoric Christmas Tradition

    | USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Parents & Guardians, Siblings, Theme Of The Month

    (My mom got her boyfriend Beatles Rock Band for Christmas one year, which my little sister quickly became obsessed with playing. She doesn’t know anything about the Beatles or how to select which songs she wants to play, so she’s always asking my mom’s boyfriend for help.)

    Sister: “Can you help me pick a song?”

    Mom’s Boyfriend: “Sure. Which song did you want to play?”

    Sister: “Lucky in the Sky With Dinosaurs!”

    (We couldn’t stop laughing. We never call the song by its real name anymore.)

    Mom And Dad Are Too Happy For You

    | TX, USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Parents & Guardians, Theme Of The Month

    (My boyfriend and I have known each other for over 10 years, but have only been dating for a few. He met my parents before and they were friendly, but this occurred after we announced that we were dating. My parents love to embarrass new boyfriends as a test to see if they’ll stick around and fit in well.)

    Me: “So… [Boyfriend] and I are dating now.”

    Mom: “Really!? Finally! Now we can have some fun.”

    Dad: “Yeah! We get to have the talk!”

    Boyfriend: “Uh… the talk?”

    Dad: *suddenly serious* “I know my daughter is not as innocent as she tries to appear. [Boyfriend], do you make her happy?”

    (My boyfriend, having not seen this side of my parents, doesn’t seem to understand.)

    Boyfriend: “Well, we’re dating, so I hope so…”

    Dad: “No, no. Do you make her happy?!” *he adds elaborate air quotes to emphasize his point*

    (My boyfriend still appears clueless.)

    Mom: “D*****, [Boyfriend]! Are you good in bed?”

    (My boyfriend turned bright red and couldn’t respond. He stuck around, so he passed the test, but my parents have made it a game to pick on him regularly and try to make him blush.)

    I’m Marrying A Firestarter

    | Lawton, OK, USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Parents & Guardians, Theme Of The Month

    (When this happened, I had recently started seeing the man I would eventually marry. I am at his apartment, attempting to fry chicken. Unfortunately, I have not turned the heat down once the oil gets up to temperature, and it starts to smoke. The fire alarm goes off, of course, and my phone starts ringing at the same time. My then-boyfriend answers:)

    Him: “Stand by, the kitchens on fire!”

    (And those were the first words he ever spoke to my mother!)

    A Slight Wrinkle In The Birthday Plans

    | USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (My brother’s girlfriend sells beauty creams, and he is always pushing me, his sister, and our mom to buy things from her. I’m not interested, and neither is our mom, and we’re both slightly annoyed about it. It’s Mom’s 50th birthday party when his girlfriend gives her a present.)

    Brother’s Girlfriend: “Here you go. Happy birthday! I hope you like it well enough to use it.”

    Mom: “Thank you!” *opens gift* “It’s… wrinkle cream?”

    Everyone Else: *stifling laughter*

    Brother’s Girlfriend: “Yup! It’s the best! Great for faces.”

    Mom: “Thanks?”

    (Mom put the wrinkle cream away and never used it. Since then, we always ask her if she’s using it for her wrinkly face!)

    Meet The Lecters

    | Brazil | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Grandparents, Parents & Guardians, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m visiting my girlfriend’s family. I’ve visited them a few times in the past so they all know who I am. On this day, I want to cook my family’s favorite dish. As a result, I have everyone else leave in order not to spoil what it is. Once done, I put down two giant pots on the kitchen table.)

    Me: “Hey, everyone! Food’s ready!”

    (They all sit down and look confused at the stew I’ve made but no one says anything. They all quietly eat and quickly enjoys it. Once done, her father turns towards me.)

    Father: “Hey, [My Name], what was that?”

    Me: “… You’re better off not knowing.”

    Father: “Huh? Why not?”

    Girlfriend: “Yeah, come on, [My Name]! I wanna know, too!”

    Me: “It… was a liver stew, all right? It was my first attempt at making it solo, so I realize it wasn’t as good as it should have been.”

    (Everyone turns silent and stares at me, then at their plates, then back to me.)

    Grandmother: “C-Can I have… the recipe for this? I’d like to create it again.”

    Me: “Wait. Not one of you guys is bothered by the fact that we’ve eaten liver?”

    Girlfriend: “Should we be? It was tasty!”

    Me: “… I love this family.”

    (I officially became part of it by marrying my girlfriend two-and-a-half months ago. Whenever we show up, they always nag at me to make another batch of liver stew for them.)


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