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    Category: Boyfriends & Girlfriends

    A Bad Command Of English

    | England, UK | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Parents & Guardians

    (My mum, boyfriend, and I are watching a game show.)

    TV: “List countries starting with two consonants.”

    Boyfriend: “I can’t think of any…”

    Me: “Chile?”

    Mum: *with a ‘duh’ voice* “England!”

    Me: “Mum…”

    Mum: “What?”

    Me: “‘E’ is a vowel.”

    Mum: “Oh! United Kingdom, then!”

    Me: “Mum.”

    Mum: “OH!” *blushes*

    A Very Musical Family

    | USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Parents & Guardians, Siblings

    (I’m a male. I’ve a female best friend. My mom has invited her to have dinner with us.)

    Mom: “So… [Friend], I heard you play guitar. So, I guess you must like One Direction? I must say they are cute!”

    Me: “Mom!”

    Dad: *scoffs*

    Friend: “Um… Yes, I love to play guitar but I’m not a fan of ANY band. I just like a few singers. It’s kind of a hobby.”

    Dad: “Oh, come on. Tell me you at least like Jus—”

    Me: “Dad, come on! Seriously?”

    Friend: *giggles* “No, Mr. [Name]. I prefer country songs.”

    Dad: *turning to me* “MARRY HER!”

    Brother: *from upstairs* “DUDE! NEVER LET HER GO!”

    Mom: “I’LL BOLT THE DOOR!”

    Friend: *laughing hysterically*

    Me: “Oh, God…”

    A Hairy Situation With A Colorful Solution

    | Eugene, OR, USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Siblings

    (At this point, my brother has not met my boyfriend. My boyfriend is ginger, with red hair, pale skin, and freckles. He knocks on the door and my brother answers.)

    Boyfriend: “Hi. Is [My Name] there?”

    Brother: *yelling* “Hey, [My Name], a weird ginger kid is here to see you!”

    (My hair is a rat’s nest and I haven’t changed my clothes in three days. I do NOT want my boyfriend seeing me like this. My brother pushes me out the door.)

    Brother: “Go talk to the weird ginger kid. Go talk to the weird ginger kid.”

    Me: “No, please, my hair—”

    (He pushes me outside and locks the door.)

    Boyfriend: “Uh, hi. Do you want to come to a party at [Friend]‘s house?”

    Me: “Sure, just let me take a shower.”

    (I get my brother to let me in after I tell him I talked to the ‘weird ginger kid.’ Once I get inside:)

    Me: “That ‘weird ginger kid’ was [Boyfriend]!”

    Brother: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?”

    Me: “IT DOESN’T MATTER! YOU DON’T CALL PEOPLE THE ‘WEIRD GINGER KID!’”

    Playing Fair Cop With The Brothers

    | Hamilton, ON, Canada | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Siblings

    (My school is having their annual BBQ at a park nearby. My five brothers are all surrounding me, talking and relaxed. They are all over six feet and 200 pounds, one being a wrestler, two cops, one a gun collector, and the other a football player. My new boyfriend comes over. Before he reaches me, all my brothers see.)

    Wrestler Bro: “[My Name], who’s this?”

    Me: “Uh, my friend… who is a boy.”

    Cop Bro #1: “Sure that’s not reversed?”

    Me: “Maybe…”

    Collector Bro: “He decent?”

    Me: “Yes…”

    Cop Bro #2: “Got a rap sheet?”

    Me: “Ask him.”

    Football Bro: “Well?”

    Boyfriend: “No.”

    (By now, all my brothers have formed a circle around me and have puffed out their chests.)

    Boyfriend: “My father is the head detective of the police force for homicide.”

    Cop Bro #1 and #2: “Well, s***…”

    An Offer He Had To Refuse

    | NJ, USA | Aunts & Uncles, Boyfriends & Girlfriends

    (I come from a very Italian family and many of my family members speak with a Brooklyn-Italian accent. It is Thanksgiving at my uncle’s house and this is the first time I have brought my boyfriend to meet my extended family. My uncle is sitting at the head of the table and my boyfriend is directly opposite him. My uncle can be blunt and with the accent he sometimes reminds people of a character from a certain movie.)

    Uncle: *in a very stern tone* “So, [Boyfriend], what do you do for a living?”

    Boyfriend: “I’m currently in paramedic school.”

    Uncle: “Oh, so you’re still a student. Can you get a job with that?”

    Boyfriend: “Yes, sir.”

    (My uncle continues to question my boyfriend in this manner until finally dessert come out.)

    My Uncle: *still speaking sternly* “[Boyfriend], take a cannoli.”

    Boyfriend: “I would, sir, but I don’t have a gun to leave.”

    (Thankfully, ‘The Godfather’ is one of my family’s favorite moves. To this day my boyfriend is convinced my uncle is a mob boss.)


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