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    Category: Boyfriends & Girlfriends

    Just Soldiered On Through That Little Lie

    | UK | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Parents & Guardians, Sons & Daughters, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (I met my husband when we were both in our mid-20s and he was in the military, living in an all-male dormitory. Fast forward 10 years, and I’m chatting with my mother about when I used to go visit him.)

    Me: “… and the bed was so small we could barely fit.”

    Mother: “But, you used to sleep in the visitors room. Didn’t you?”

    Me: “What?”

    Mother: “When you visited, you told me he stayed in his room and you slept in a room set aside especially for visitors.”

    Me: “And you BELIEVED me?”

    No Weaseling Out Of That

    | USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Siblings

    (I’m out to eat with my grandmother, my sister, and my sister’s boyfriend. My grandmother and I end up in a separate conversation from my sister and her boyfriend. As I stand to use the restroom, I catch a fragment of their conversation and totally hear it wrong.)

    Me: “Why are you talking about hypothermic weasels?”

    Sister: “What?”

    Sister’s Boyfriend: “Actually, we were talking about hypodermic needles, but I like your idea better.”

    (My grandmother and my sister could not stop laughing. Two weeks later, my sister handed me a picture he’d drawn for her of a weasel in a block of ice. She gave it to me when I went to college and I still have it!)

    The Birds And The Boyfriends

    | USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Children, Sons & Daughters

    (My boyfriend is telling me the story of his parents explaining sex to him when he was a child.)

    Boyfriend’s Mom: “Well, see, when a man and a woman love each other very much, they have sex to make a baby. The man puts his penis into the woman’s vagina.”

    Boyfriend: “Do I have to do this?!”

    Boyfriend’s Dad: “Well, no. But someday, you’ll want to…”

    (His dad was right!)

    The Relationship Won’t Remain In Tact

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Siblings, Teenagers

    (Two of my teenage sister’s friends have been dating. My sister has just found out that the boy has broken up with the girl, and not in a particularly sensitive way.)

    Sister: *in the middle of a rant* “… and you would think there is a nicer way to say it than that!”

    Mom: “You are assuming a teenage boy has tact. I don’t know where you got this idea.”

    Me: “I’m sure none of the ones she’s been interacting with lately have given her that idea.”

    Sister: “Ha! [Male Friend #1] doesn’t have tact. [Male Friend #2] doesn’t have tact. [Male Friend #3] doesn’t have tact, either, but he has a girlfriend so it doesn’t really matter…”

    Those Odds Don’t Really Bowl You Over

    | MI, USA | Boyfriends & Girlfriends, Sons & Daughters, Teenagers

    (My boyfriend, our two sons, ages 17 and 18, and I are sitting in the living room talking. My 17-year-old son is keep tabs on the Super Bowl online since we do not get the TV channel that it is on.)

    Boyfriend: *to me* “Coitus later?” *yes, he actually used the word ‘coitus’*

    Me: “I might be able to pencil you in later.”

    Boyfriend: “Better be in pen.”

    Son: “1 pm. Second Tuesday of next week.”

    Boyfriend: “In the middle of ‘Neverwary.’”

    Son: *the game is in the third quarter* “Mom said she will have coitus with you when the Broncos win the Super Bowl.”


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