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    Category: Aunts & Uncles

    A Wild Geologist Appears!

    | WV, USA | Aunts & Uncles, Parents & Guardians

    (My father and two of my uncles were taking a walk along a strip mine when they began to hear a strange tapping noise.)

    Uncle: *whispering* “What’s that?”

    Dad: “Sounds like the tapping of a wild geologist.”

    (They crept quietly over the ridge and peered down. Sure enough, it was a geologist my dad knew, hunting for fossils.)

    The Sky Is The Zip Code Limit

    | NJ, USA | Aunts & Uncles, Children

    (It’s a slow day. I only have two or three tables filled at the time, one of which is a mother with two young daughters, the oldest looking no more than five, and young lady who, from overhearing the conversation, is either her sister or sister-in-law. I’ve taken their order a while back and the young girl is filling out the kid’s place mat: a map of America with some landmarks to match to states. The map is just America.)

    Little Girl: “Aunty, where are we?”

    Aunt: “Well, New York is here so we should be about here:” *points to New Jersey on the map*

    Little Girl: “And where do you live?”

    Aunt: “Hmm… well, Montana is here so Calgary would be about here.”

    (She then puts a dot above the map with one of the crayons and looks over to the mom to confirm the location. The little girl’s eyes light up in amazement.)

    Little Girl: “Aunty, you live in the sky?!”

    Opposites Detract

    | Prince George, BC, Canada | Aunts & Uncles

    (My sister and I, despite looking similar enough to be considered twins and enjoying many of the same things, are very different people. She’s always been a mature, proper little lady while I’m a more mischievous tomboy. My sister is about four and I’m two. My aunt is up from Vancouver and is seeing this with her own eyes for the first time.)

    Aunt: *to mom* “Your girls really are complete opposites.”

    (My sister runs through the room, completely derailing my Aunt’s train of thought.)

    Aunt: “[Sister] is so cute!”


    | Burlington, ON, Canada | Aunts & Uncles

    (My aunt is staying at my grandma’s apartment while she visits from BC. She has recently gotten a cell phone — an old flip phone where you type by pressing the corresponding number keys the appropriate number of times. The first two texts she sent me were while I was on my way over to visit. She hadn’t found the space key yet.)

    First Text: “What0time0ru0coming0″

    Second Text: “Where0r0u”

    (The third text was a couple weeks later. She’d found the space key, but not the backspace key.)

    Third Text: “Hi bnm s*** start again gg s*** can u come to grammys wed pm luv u”

    (Now she just needs to figure out punctuation and she’ll be all set!)

    Suffer From Water(melon) Damage

    | USA | Aunts & Uncles

    (I am 17 and I live/grow up with my uncle. I get off work and see the farmer’s market is selling watermelons. When I get home I cut it up and put it away for dinner. My uncle nor I have cellphone, as he says the house phone is enough.)

    Uncle: “Hey. [My Name], I bought a watermelon and strawberries.”

    Me: *pulls out bowl of watermelon and shows it to him*

    Uncle: “Um… well… then, we will give this to Mrs. Johnson across the street and we are both going to get cell phones tomorrow.”

    (I thought my uncle was joking but he really did get both of us cellphones! And the little old lady across the street enjoyed the watermelon!)

    Texas Christmas Massacre

    | TX, USA | Aunts & Uncles, Theme Of The Month

    (My family has gathered at my paternal grandparents’ house in Texas for Christmas. My father has two brothers and one sister. All four of my cousins are from my aunt, and this year they received, among other things, an archery set and an electric pocket cycle.)

    Uncle: “I think Santa has rightly decided that [Aunt] has too many children.”

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